The San Marino Shuffle

shuf·fle

 /ˈʃʌfəl/ Show Spelled [shuhf-uhl] Show IPA verb, -fled, -fling, noun

–verb (used without object)

1. to walk without lifting the feet or with clumsy steps and a shambling gait.

2. to scrape the feet over the floor in dancing.

3. to move clumsily (usually fol. by into ): to shuffle into one's clothes.

4. to act underhandedly or evasively with respect to a stated situation (often fol. by in, into,  or out of ): to shuffle out of one's responsibilities.

5. to intermix so as to change the relative positions of cards in a pack.

6. to attempt to stop and stay upright from high speed with a flat front tyre, whilst simultaniously shitting oneself  "San Marino Shuf-fle"

Thursday rooolllls around again. I have to admit to being a bit low this last week. Wanted to get out on Sunday, but after changing my cassette and chain, it became apparent that there were no teeth on my middle ring that wanted to play with my new chain. So I couldnt / wouldnt ride, general apathy was setting in. Other shit going on was also getting me down I have to admit, so as Thursday approached I was far from arsed about riding, even though I knew it would be the tonic I needed. Cap it all and my back has started its 12 monthly painful tightening. Funny how I only get muscular back pain once every twelve months or so. Again, I knew a ride would ease it, so why was I not arsed about going out??

Gave myself the required kick up the arse and got sorted, round to Weesters for 7 to find Wors already there and Weester nearly ready for the off too. However, faffage as usual took us to about 7.20 before we were off. We decided on our usual Winter Hill / Rivi jaunt. The climb up to Horrocks Fold soon got my legs warmed up  and before long we were setting a blistering pace up Coal Pit. Over the gate and up the path to the mast was taken at record speed. I was really really loving The climb. Funny this, but these days I seem to be enjoying my climbing much much more that I use to. I use to see climbing as a means to get to a downhill, but now, I relish the challenge of a climb and also the hard work involved. Must be my masochistic side coming out as I get older... be getting into bondage next... It seems to be the old ones who enjoy it, judge's, MP's and what not. 

We were passed at the top of the hill bu a car with 3 young lads it in who headed up to the top of the access road, Odd I thought, anyway we climbed up and found the car parked up at the end of the tarmac, we joined the singletrack and as we turned the corner there they were, two of them taking pictures of their mate who was lying on the floor, pulling up his top. Now, you will recall, Wors and I have had experience of strange male outdoor activities, however we were both stumped as to what was going on here.

I took the chute for a change and it was a peice of piss really, the rutted off camber run down to the gate still gives me the willies though. Belmont road to the pigeon tower, where we passed about 12 or so other jocksters all out enjoying the night and we climbed up to the Pike. Nice lie down at the top to cool down and catch the view before we went straight over the edge to the gate, here my new chain decided to come off the big ring and wrap itself inside the crank arm and the cogs. Brute force and ignorance couldn't get it out so Wors had a go and managed to free it instantly.

Up the Kennels and then to the top of San Marino. Now, for some reason, this run has claimed my tubes on a regular basis, I think I must be up to 8 in the last 8 months. The ground was dusty but much firmer than recently with the rain, so we set of at a scorching pace, the first few jumps all sailed over, just getting to bog monster and I Did the shuffle. BANG! front tyre gone, instantly deflated whilst in full flight and hitting the rough stuff. Suffice to say that there was a bit of a brown eye twitch trying to stop. I did find that emitting a high pitched girly scream helped tremendously in my deceleration and I intend to use this on future such occasions. The funny thing was that Weester stopped behind me, then Wors came to a halt, moaning "whats up now!" only to hear the immeiate high pitch tell tale whine of all the air escaping from his rear tyre :).

Tubes changes sharpish as the biters were out, and I was their number one target, we set off down the run, Weester taking a crafty shortcut at the turn and rejoining the path just in front of me. 

Some ignorant bastard has repaired the kissing gate too, meaning we had to shoulder the bikes over the fence to get to the road. Spin along to the road home.

As I suspected, just the tonic. I feel alive and ready for the world after a great ride out with good mates. Food for the soul.

We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing

Sunday and more snow!! I love it.

Had a nice lie in till 12pm then got a few txt's from Toss and Weest confirming that they are riding. So at 12.30 we head over to Weesters. Its still snowing at this point and bloody cold. Weest joins us and we head up to Horrocks Fold and up to Scout Road. Coal pit was nowhere near as slippery as I thought it would be, the new snow was giving up loads of grip. At the gate, I was surprised when both lads chucked thier bikes over to take the path up. Obviously up for a bit of adventure.

The drifts accross the path were getting a bit deeper and as we got higher, the mist gradually merged with the horizon creating a white out.

It was lovely white thick snow, perfect for snowballs, so at the fence just before the road, we parked up for a snowball fight. Was a comical scene, 3 fat, northern, middleaged bald bastards playing snow balls on the moors in a white out. Great fun.

Onto the mast road I suggested we tried the shoulder for a laugh. After last week, I thought it would be a good challenge in the snow.

The problem was we were the first people, walkers or cyclists down it. Hitting the path was a lottery and all of us went over the bars at least twice as our front wheels disapeared in drifts 3'+ deep of fresh snow. It was pure fucking hillarity.

We tried the chute, but again, i went over the bars on it, and weester had an uncontrolled plummet....

 

The descent to Belmont Road was just a lottery of staying on the bike, non of us really that arsed as we knew a fall would not really be painful, such a soft landing to be had all around.

On the Road, we headed over to the Pidgeon Tower. More powder was falling now and coming right into our faces, I had to stop to put my balacalava on as my forehead was starting to sting. The MRT were out at the top of the ICR and gave Toss a dirty look for wearing 3/4's. Quite right too, the nobber had to turn back 3 weeks ago cause his legs were cold. No sense in that lads head.

Up to the Pike we decided to drop stright off the edge for a change. Weester going first and Toss then me. Both me and Toss shit ourselves on this little bit of rock, but this time we managed it, Toss doing especially well after his fall last year.

I didnt do too bad until I got to the ruts at the  bottom and had a bit of a spill....


Blast down to Hole in't wall, Weester set a blistering pace up to the road, and then Toss sprinted up the mast road!! Pair of bastards had been holding out on me.

So the finale.... San Marino. Weester blasted down, Toss went faster down it in the snow that I had ever seen him in the dry and I had a massive stack just before the spaniel, legs windmilling through the air. We were all so pumped up on adrenalin that all we did was giggle like big kids all the way down. It was just brilliant.

As Jase wasn't with us today, I obviously felt obliged to fall off as much as possible in order at least make it feel he was amongst us.

Toss was about to lift his bike over the gate at the bottom, when I sent an opportunist snowball in a high looping tragectory at him. Bingo, it fell from about 20' straight down plumb on his helmet just as he was lifting his bike up. Shit him up something ace!!

Spin back to Templecoombe and Weester once again displayed his pink credentials by not bothering with the ginnel.

Superb day out acting like big kids. Most fun on two wheels for ages!
 

Just a great ride!!

A decent turn out for this Sunday With Toss, Weester, Wors and myself. Pikey threatened to turn out, but decided that we would be too quick for him so he went out himself over Darwen.

We set off up past Horrocks Fold and it was a lovely day, some good views and the ground was still pretty hard from the frosts. Coal Pit Road and then straight up the path to the Mast. I said we were going down the Shoulder as we hadnt been that way in months. I shot off and stopped at the top of the Gully to see if I could get some video of the lads attempting it. It was full of snow though and Weester made a fair stab at it, but lost his front wheel almost straight away.


So we elected to have a bash at the steep grass. Weester flew down it, but Jase set off with his fookin bald back tyre just locked up. The result was about 10 yards and he was down, yet again. Piss funny.


Toss had lost his momentum, and Jase's fall had just held him up even more. The result of this was lots of time at the top of the steep bit to contemplate it. I could palpably feel his terror as he psyched himself up for the roll off. In the end he pissed it. No problem.

At Belmont Road, we headed towards the Pigeon Tower for the Ice Cream Run. Toss was a bit apprehensive, still getting his confidence back, but once again, he pissed all over it. Me and Jase nearly collected a militant walker on the way down who didnt realise that we had practically no way of avoiding him. The thick twat.

The great unwashed filth of industrial Lancashire were out in force around the Barns. One of them uttered the accepted greeting of the council estate species at us. We didnt bother correcting him that "Cunts" is probably not the best way to greet normal people.

Stopped at the lower barn for a brew. After Toss's last venture in here on a Sunday nearly ended up with him pulling a flame thrower out, me and Jase decided it would be best if we went in for the brews. Jase kindly subbed me for the brew, which was excellent. Weester informed us that he had "packed a bit of fudge". Further investigation revealed that he had indeed brought some, it went down great.

Along the side of the reservoir and up to the School. Straight up the Dentist (fuck me its a long old climb) and at Georges Lane, we headed over towards the Kennels. 4 Paki's were trying to light a BBQ at the bottom of the Pike descent, not your usual February Sunday sight.

We pushed up the Kennels rather than go over to the Hole in't Wall, and then up the mast road. San Marino was just fucking ace!! Not suffered as much as I thought it would have from the recent weather, it was really fast with shit loads of jumps on it.

Spin home along Belmont Road, we decided to have a blast down the ginnel. It was well overgrown and we got ripped to shreds. Good fun though.

All in all, just a fucking great ride, one of my favourite local loops with 3 of the best downhills in it. Great company too... but dont tell them that.