Saturday, 24 November 2012

Finally - Hillarity at Gisburn

I was very kindly invited to a slackers day at Gisburn the other week, by my fine biking colleagues, Toss, JD and CW. These gents all "work" at the same tea bag manufacturing plant and had decided to take a day off. They decided on Gisburn. Naturally I was all for this. A finer venue for midweek slackery I could not think of and jumped at the chance to join them.

5 weeks had elapsed since I had ridden my bike and it had taken its toll. Big fat belly and startling lack of fitness combined to make this ride a suffer fest for me. Still its my own fault plus I was suffering mentally from the lack of riding so a day with mates egging each other on was just what the doctor ordered. I also noted that the new Swoopy section was now ride able and was looking forward to giving that a go.

The day started  with Toss kindly buying me BSE barm cake which was devoured in sharp order and we headed over to Cocklet Hill to meet the other two. They had arrived just before us so we all started to kit up together. Whilst sitting on the back seat, i happened to notice JD doing the customary spin around the car park, he came parallel with the car trying to pop up the front wheel. On his way back he just got in sight and popped the wheel a little too far up and fucking looped out!!! Oh jesus H christ, how we laughed. It was Fucking perfect. Poor bloke however did sustain some minor injuries and considering he wasn't wearing a helmet he was pretty lucky. I did not fare so well, my sided are still hurting to this day from laughing so much.

I got my own bike out and did admit to being deeply ashamed as to the state of it. The brakes however were something else. Howling like a banshee and were to do so for most of the day.

So off we set, and were soon at Stocks. Pikeys Corner has had some work done on it but its still a bastard if your not careful. Shed all my layers at the bottom of the climb and took it nice and steady. We were soon at the top of Homebaked. I suggested that the guys hang back at the top so I could get a good few pics of them coming down the staircase. As I was flying down I came across the horrific bog halfway which nearly swallowed me whole. At the bottom, turns out CW went into it head first, JD coming round the corner to find him almost totally immersed. I was gutted to have missed his fall. Anyway, the staircase, always looks slippery from the top but there is loads of grip once you commit.
Regroup at the bottom and we carried on to the middle overlap. Here I suggested we popped into the forest to have a look at the log ride. Was slippery as hell but CW managed to nail it.

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Non of the rest of us wimps tried it. Toss soon found himself on the floor just after this, a simple stumble lead to a fall which cut his shin. In fairness it looked pretty nasty.

The long fireroad climb up to the top of the Hope line had be blowing out of my star... somehow JD actually managed to fall off at about 3mph going up here. A superb achievement.

At the top, me and toss shit ourselves looking at a small drop, which JD and CW immediately flew over. The rest of the Hope line was fucking great fun actually. I think I even managed about 4inches of air!! Sick! Even wing commander Toss was airborne for a few seconds! Naturally CW and JD made it all look easy. The cunts.

Back up the climb and CW wanted to show us the DH line. The first drop off the fireroad is fucking massive. About 7' or so by the time you land. CW looked it over and then promptly flew over it while us three looked on. Very impressive to be honest and so far out of my comfort zone it was ridiculous. He then took us to an insane cliff drop. No shit, the top 6' must have been vertical before sloping out. We all had a bash at the baby one to the side, but Chirs Nailed the big fella. Once again... fair fucking play.

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We missed out the North Shore section instead going up the fire road to the long pedally section over to Whelpstone. It was a nice spin actually and got the legs going.

We reached the slab and Toss was physicing himself up for it having bottled it last time. Him and JD pushed straight up and the cunts went down, not waiting for me to shout encouragement or even indeed video them. Gutted. I went up the normal route which is now an unridable mudbath so they had the best idea really. Its still steep, no matter what anyone says. and a touch intimidating, but gets the heart pumping.

Down the switchbacks and onto the fire road to the start of Hully Gully. We pointed out to Toss that it is nearly impossible to miss the turn, I reckon he did it on purpose when he was here the other week. Anyway, off we set and Toss shouts he will follow my line. Flying down the slippery surface I hit the first section of Berms and nails them fast, hitting the top and sailing over the next one, it was on the third one I think that I heard the yelp. Toss had not pedalled enough as stalled at the top of the second one and fell off. Unfortunately, he did not sustain too much damage just loss of pride I think, I wasn't too sure because I was having too much fun to stop. It really is fucking ace this run. Gets to the bottom for a regroup and we were all grinning stupidly, Toss however was complaining that he had fucked up his hip so couldn't go back up for another go. Strangely enough he was fine powering up the next hill though. The Cunt.

The Spin along the old red was nice and fast and great fun through the roots and berms just after the forest. After we passed the bottom of the hope line i was keeping my eyes peeled for the entrance to the new "Swoopy" that the volunteers have just finished. This cuts out the fire road descent to the Blue and its very good. I knew there was a drop coming up on it and soon found it near the end. I stopped and didnt fancy it if I'm honest, stating to the lads the we had "a Refusal". Naturally CW flew down and I was left thinking that I needed to go down it otherwise it would be a bug bear for me for months to come. Over we went and it was pretty straightforward to be honest. Excellent section of trail. Well done the builders.

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The final run along the blue was ace fun too. However by the time I was climbing up the last climb through the forest I was fucked. Head lolling from side to side and everything. I was pretty glad to be back at the car actually.

Superb day out and proves the fact that riding with mates makes everywhere better. A great days riding and a proper laugh to boot.


Toss said...

fuckin BRILLIANT. Cheers David. T

D0NK said...

Looks like there's LOADS of new stuff there, will have to check it out. Who's that on the orange bike dressed in his pyjamas? ;-)