Kicking the shit out of it.

In the immortal words of Edmund Blackadder, the path of my life is fraught with turds from the devils own satanic herd. Or at least it felt like it this week. A combination of burst water tanks, punctures, car crashes and bank account fraud have ensured that my week has been totally fucking shite.

So, I was well ready for a good ride. Not had one in ages and being unable to ride at weekends, the previous weekends glorious weather didnt help my mood. I was on the wagon and didnt have the means to get any cash anyway meant that I wouldnt be pubbing it, Weester also was refraining from the ale after a messy Saturday night. Toss was having some sort of issue, no doubt caused by his rampant ginger pubes. So just me, weest, jase and graham.

Healy nab it was to be! Up Horrocks and Coal pit, but we took the right hand turn and pushed up to Dean Mills so we could do the little stone staircase. Good fun and a bit twitchy too if I'm honest, however I was feeling like the title of this post, so belted down it. Nothing was going to stop me tonight.

Up Coal pit path to the mast and we shot off down the shoulder, pretty dry too and plenty of grip as we carved up the singletrack along the top, before diving down the grass to the gate on Belmont Road. Tore along the rocks and shot off down the ICR, only to meet a bell end in a 4x4 coming up. Made short work of getting around him and then battered the rocks to the car park.

Road spin along to Anglezarke and the lights were switched on. We took the cheeky headland path, fookin brilliant and then through the fields to Watermans Cottage. Quick road spin and up onto the Nab. Some fucker and knackered the info sign so it was away to be repaired. I showed the lads the trail head and Graham said he would follow our lights down... but at the end of the 1st section, he had managed to inexplicably get to the bottom of the forest. He must have missed all the red run. I completed it (brilliant fun, hit it pretty fast) and then waited at the second fire road as we all tried to find Graham. Turned the light of waiting for the lads and Dog Soldiers immediately sprang to mind.

Regrouped for the climb back up, passed a load of teenage lads and girls camping out with a fire going, no doubt it would have been hardcore shaggery later on if the lads got their way!

Reached the gate and while waiting for Graham who's light was playing up, we spotted 2 of the biggest fattest spiders on the gate, brutal looking mofo's.

Down to Kays Farm at warp speed and then over to the Yew Tree. Graham announced that he wanted to get home on the tarmac as he hadn't had any tea and was flagging, so over the damn he took the road home as we ascended Yarrow and headed over to Rivington Village. Weester, caringly asked if Graham would be "all right" on the way home on his own, a suggestion that had me and Jase pissing ourselves. The lad has just finished being a bodyguard in Kabul and previously in Iraqi and Weester was worried that the badlands of Horwich might prove too much for him.

My light just picked out the arse end of a deer over the wall, running parallel with us. Magic!

At the barn, we had the long old climb up to the gardens, and predictably, Jase fucking shot up it, the bastard. I spotted a badger just over the fence and made sure I was well out of his way, hard fuckers badgers. Legs were proper feeling the pace now and me and weester alloted for the path of least resistance home along piss poor and Belmont Road.

Toasted by the time we got in at 11pm. 25miles and shit knows how much ascent we did, but it was a memorable night ride.