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Badass!!!

2012-01-20T09:45:00.001Z

BADASS - Number 9

Its official!

Was so looking forward to a ride this Thursday. A combination of having the girls and site visits meant I could not commute and I am really struggling getting the miles in at the moment. The weather seemed ok till about 4pm when the heavens opened. Driving home through the torrent was a bit miserable, but I was determined to get out. Toss sent a tentative txt asking if we were still having it and I said yes.

So kitted up in full on waterproof EVERYTHING, I changed the pads in the rear brake, fitted the light and wolfed a big fucking massive pasta tea down. Getting the bike out of the garage and Toss showed up just in time for a massive hail stone storm to kick up. NO sign of Wors so we rode around to his place, the hail looking quite spectacular in the light beam.

We found Wors cowering in his garage, with the door closed, hoping I suspect that we were not coming, however as we were there he soon got kitted up, again in full on waterproof EVERYTHING and off we set. We decided that a valley ride would be better suited to the conditions rather than the moors.

Slip sliding down the valley and the stream path was a mud bath, wheels sliding all over the shop, over the bridge and up the hill to Birtenshaw and, riding behind Wors my beam picked out the tell tale round face of a Tawny Owl, sereenly sat on a branch watching us struggle. It lazily took flight when Jay got about 5' away. Lovely.

The hill fucked me up big time. A combination of a very big late tea, massive belly and 3 layers of tight kecks made for a very uncomfortable ascent and I was blowing out of my arse at the top. Not a good start.

Shady Lane, Jumbles and Turton Bottoms were all muddy as hell but great fun and more importantly, the rain and hail had stopped, which meant that I was overheating very quick. So lost the waterproof jacket and had a quick chat about TR's wall hitting experience the previous week. Must remember to make sure I pack emergency Jelly Babies.

Over the Dam at Wayoh and the overflow was is full spate, impressive sight. We scooted up along the banks to Entwistle, where once again my trouser garments were causing winter fat belly some discomfort, so much so that I got a fucking stitch. Little tech drop in the path fucked Toss up and he should have gone back to have another go really, I was pleased also to see it initially fuck Jase up too but he went back and nailed it.

Entwistle car park looked packed with shaggers and voyeurs so we took the steep path rather then the road to the top of Green Arms, and the re appearance of my stitch. The run down was brilliant with a strong tail wind, splashing through proper deep pubbles sending up bow waves which to my great pleasure, soaked Toss.

For some reason though, the tail wind turned into a headwind on the climb up to Torra, que stitch. At the Gate, we bumped into the Pikey's party, they had decided to get out too. The ride through the tip was utterly ridiculous with both wheels sliding all over the shop and only giving us a modicum of control, straight down the drop and past the flag, where me and Toss scared the shit out of a lady driver with our Trouties on Full. Higer Ridings was just as slippery but we got through ok and finished with the climb out of the valley.

Superb muddy wet fun.

The first ride of 2012!

2012-01-13T15:45:00.000Z

Fuck me this weather has been shit. I dont just mean shit, I mean SHIT. PISS and SHIT. didnt ride at all over my extended christmas holidays because of the weather and it was proper getting me down. As you all know I hate not riding my bike and I was in danger of turning into a proper grumpy twat.

However I was due to be packing bags on this Thursday night ready for a long weekend with the girls in Keswick, but in a rare moment of organisation I did it the night before so could ride! A Thursday night ride with a favorable forecast too.

Just Me, Toss, Wors and TR this week. On meeting up we all had a wank over Toss's new light. He finally took the plunge and got a Trouite Liberator in GOLD no less! Weather was lovely, but the ground was saturated from all the aforementioned piss. Toss suggested a Darwen Moor trip and we all readily agreed.

Down the valley on the made trails and then through the mills. Wors, pounding the pedals as usual went for the gap in the railings just before the Sports Complex and his back wheel snagged between two flags, this fucking him up big style and he ended up crashing into the railings. They had spikes on top too and his face was pretty fucking near them when he hit. Very lucky if you ask me, but, being the big hard bastard that he is, it didnt seem to phase him at all.

Up through the golzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz course and down to Longworth clough, piss wet ground and lots of mud, but great fun to be out. Up onto Longworth Lane and scoot accross the closed of BJ alley. However, it was NOT closed off. The clasps on the steel barriers have been ground off so both gates are open and there are now several what appear to be well used openings in the deer fence have been formed. I reckon at least 8. We speculated that these were formed as "rooms" in a homosexual outdoor motel... whereby like minded gentlemen may arrange to meet up at No 8, Blow Job Alley. It takes all fucking sorts.....

We slowly started to ascend piss poor... which was ok actually. I was struggling earlier on with my great big fat bastard belly, but as we got into the night, the pedalling got easier as I found my second wind. TR unfortuanlty was beginning to suffer as we neared Lower Pastures. I must admit to not realizing just how fucked he was by the time we had made the top of the moor. He was either coming down with a bug or had just hit the wall. Either way we had to make it down and its a relatively straight forward descent.

We spotted the moon just rising above Bull Hill and it was RED... lovely big rising moon, sadly too dark to get a descent picture off. Toss started to try and come up with some utter nonsense about the moon being the same size wherever we see it, he gave up when we all fell asleep.

As we set off for the descent, I noticed that the grass up on the top of the moor was freezing. We all soon felt the temperature as we flew down the hill, getting sprayed with freezing cold water. Quick regroup halfway down and Jase admitted he was fucking freezing, water getting into his shoes. At the top of the Bastard, TR bent over a spewed his guts up... made me remember doing the same in school cross country races. Strangely enough, he was descending with much more confidence over the rocks, probably as he was too fucked to care!

We got to the road and all decided that we would take that home. My back brake has eaten its pads so I only had the front, TR was goosed and Jase was freezing, so a quick spin down the road had us home in no time.

Brilliant night out and SOOOOOO good to get out on the bike!

Picnic on the moors! Beers in the pub!

2011-12-29T15:59:00.000Z

Very late with this post... deepest apolgies.

Anyways, after the triumphant return to the Bull the other week, we decided that another visit would be in order. Date and time set it was just Me, Weester and Toss. Toss had come up with the genius idea to "fuck the barn" off as the food is shit and a rip off, that we should get a picnic together. Great idea.

Off we sets from Weesters at about 3pm, usual ride through pretty muddy shit to be honest, We headed up to the Kennels without incident and then got set for the down. It was slippery as hell and following Weester, watched as his front wheel caught a deep puddle and over the bars he went. It was just so fucking graceful, proper handstand on the bars with legs apart as he went over. Myself and Toss were helpless with laughter and we had to wait a few minutes to compose ourselves.

Got to the chute which again I bottled whilst Toss and Weest sailed majestically down.

We didn't bother with the Pike as we were going to do the ICR and we were keen to maximize ALE time, however we were hungry, so parked up at the pigeon loft and broken out tea.

Toss had brought ham butties made with quality thick ham and mustard, weester some fine cake and I brought a flask of tea. Toss, played the ace card also with a nice single malt.

Excellent scran and much better than getting bum raped in the Barn.

Polished it all off (even the whiskey) and then battered the ICR. Lovely run down and we regrouped at the car park to decide which way to the Hallowed Hostillry. We plumped for the path of least resistance and toiled over the road.

Imagine our horror when we arrived and found the place closed !! We checked the watch and it was just after 5, we therefore concluded that he would be opening at 6 as the sign on the door stated he had a band on that night. We were therefore left with no alternative other than the fuck off down the road and have a couple in the Cough Dog Cough.

Wasn't too bad in fairness although the beer has gone up considerably since we last went in. We got an email from Al also when we were in there telling us he was open at 6 and we should "get our arses up there".

Brilliant. A night of great beer, banter and music was had, only marred by a drunken clash of views later on. We even had a chat with a big group of Jocksters who arrived at about 8. First time we have ever seen any other bikers in that pub!

10 pints later and we staggered out for a gentle ride home, leaving the sexy barmaid a portrait!

Champers and Whiskey

2011-12-23T18:58:00.001Z

Getting proper sloppy with my posting of late, please accept my humble apologies.

The other Thursday was a cause for celebration. I was finishing work for 2 whole weeks the next day, so I suggested a ride up the pike with a ruck of booze and thankfully all the lads agreed! So a great turn out comprised Myself, Toss, The River, Wors and Weester! Weester brought some ale, I brought a bottle of champagne, The River and Wors packed hipflasks and I cant remember what Toss brought... Wors also packed a flask of rather excellent Tea too. Whilst waiting to set off I noticed a very Heath Robinson attempt at a rear mudguard had been fettled by Jay... I was quite frankly lost for words.

Jay is an engineer by trade, so how he even imagined that this shambles would works was beyond me.

Off we set from Weesters at 7 and followed the usual path up to Horrocks.... near the farm, Toss srtopped suddenly and with his helmet light illuminated a Short Eared Owl sat on a tree not 6' from us. It casually looked us over before lazily taking flight! Brilliant start to the night!

I took the lead on the Singletrack and nearly shit myself when i looked up and saw a fookin black horse blocking the track in front. It soon took off but if I hadnt glanced up I'd have rode right into the big bastard.

Up Coal Pit and then the steps, we deceided to hit the Kennels. VERY VERY slippery, but great fun. I got the chute (which I still have problems with) and decided to walk it. Didnt fancy a tumble with a bottle of champers in the back pack.

Easy climb up to the pike and we unpacked the goodies.

Burp!

Was a touch windy but we got in the lee of it behind the Pike and guzzled the booze whilst looking out over the night sky.

Couple of Jockys arrived just as we were polishing off the booze and were deeply impressed with the ale set up we had. They promptly rode straight off down the steps. Fair play.

I set off down the Pike to the gate and was rather surprised to find that we had lost Toss!! The bell end had gone straight off the front instead of heading to the gate.

Spin along Belmont Road got us wet and then the road home. I did notice with some satisfaction here that Jay's mudguard had indeed proved me right and offered zero fucking protection to his fat arse.

Cracking night out!

The corner.....

2011-12-21T20:29:00.001Z

Solstice.... summers on its way....

Jingle Bells!

2011-12-05T15:45:00.000Z

The long anticipated bikers christmas ride was on Saturday. I was not well. Started with a bastard cold on the Thursday prior and decided not to chance a ride that night, instead having an early night to try and get better. The convalescence however was hindered somewhat by the arrival in my garage of a barrel of Flat Cap. 7 pints on Friday night was not what I had in mind to combat my cold.

The forecast also got it wrong, badly wrong, but more on that later.

The turn out was excellent, Toss, Pikey, The River, CW, JD, Weester and myself all present. My pathetic attempts to make the bike festive were put to shame by the others. Pikey, Toss and CW adorning their bikes with not only tinsel but lights too, JD even had baubles on his spokes and the River had a splendid helmet. CW even rigged up a speaker system in his backpack that played christmas songs all the way round!

After a few emails aimed squarely at CW telling him not to be late, he duly arrived early and proceeded to set up his bike. It was at this stage that he realised that he had in fact forgotten to pack his wheels. Frankly, I'm lost for adjectives that can adequately convey just how much of a bell end he really is and its not often that happens. So, fortunately Toss had his old stumpy that he could borrow, otherwise he would have been royally fucked.

With the storm clouds gathering, we set off up onto the moors heading for the Lower barn and tea. I was taking things extremely slowly an holding everyone up in the process, but I didn't want to stress my chest out too much. It was just as we got to Horrocks Fold that the heavens opened. We were blessed with the arrival of hail, rain and a headwind so murderous that I was reduced to a wreck.

Path of least resistance took us to two lads and then we slithered our way down Hole in't Wall and then the Dentist to the School. Quick muddy and wet spin to the Barn. Here, the outside jumberella's were up so we stashed all out gear underneath and went to get tea.

The fuckers had decided to close at 4.30 instead of the advertised 5pm. This mean that there was fuck all hot food on offer, the best they could muster for me was a cheese and ham toastie. Not only this, but while we were sat eating, one of the bastards went outside and dropped the Jumberella, in the pissing rain, so when we did get our gear is was even wetter. Great.

Next up, the climb over to Belmont. It was fucking horrible to be honest, horrible. I crawled my way up in the pissing rain, however our luck was turning, as the wind was behind us. We all flew down the road to Belmont and arrived at the Bull.

I have, during our absence, forgotten just how fucking great this pub is. We all piled in and dumped our soggy gear before Al arrived and told us to fuck off into the back bar, out of view of his more descerning customers. So we settled in for the night, all our socks lined up on the radiator while the rest of us started to smell like wet dog.

The Ale was fine, Flat Cap and Wainwrights, superbly kept as ever. Jase and Clarkey arrived with a cleaned off Pikey and a great night was had. 7 pints later and we decided to head down to the Tap. Me and Toss rode Al's steps and CW even jumped down the things! Fairly easy run down the road to Su's chippy.

Chips from Auntie Sue were spot on, she even let us eat them in the shop as it was rather tiresomely still pissing it down. We ventured accross the road to the Tap, only to be confronted with Jase, Clarkey and Pikey standing up. This despite the bastards assuring us that they had a seat before we set off from the Bull. Bastards. Still, this lead to some entertaining piss taking all night between the "riders" and the "slackers".

Rolled out of the pub about 1ish I think, cant really remember as the following picture clearly explains.

Excellent day / night out and one to remember!

Hopeless

2011-11-25T14:34:00.001Z

6 Miles. Hopeless.

5 Pints in the pub was good though.

I'M NOT GOING TO THE FUCKING PUB..... ALRIGHT!!!

2011-11-18T14:42:00.000Z

Bastards!

This week, the River suggested a ride starting over his neck of the woods. This gave me an idea about maybe heading over Holcombe way as we aint ever been over there in the Dark. Toss quickly arranged few mates to meet him in the Hare and Hounds after our ride over Peel Tower, however I was determined to avoid the pub, being a good boy, I'm staying off the ale during the week at the moment.

It was to be Tossers last ride on his faithful Stumpy before he sprays milt all over his new one on Saturday so it was fitting that we did a good ride and something Different. The forecast was not good so I packed waterproofs.

Weester arrived at mine in good time and we were off. Through the valley and straight into the mud. No grip whatsoever, we all failed to make any of the climbs due to tyres that were totally caked in mud. Weester nearly got T boned as I jumped off the bridge and he cycled straight into the path of where I was going to land. Just missed the bell by a whisker.

The spin along the railway was like riding over a golden carpet with all the autumn leaves crunching under wheel. We were soon going up Shady lane. For a change we stayed on the North shore through the stables and I totally missed the turn up to the top of the Jumbles and we ended up in someone's back garden!

We were soon at the Spread Eagle in the bottom of the valley and next came the climb up to Crowthorn. Brutal climb this... 700' of ascent straight up. By the time we got to the top we were all sweating buckets, but the view was just stunning. Of more concern was the transit van coming down from the body farm. The two lads shouted a cheery hello, but the fuckers werent fooling me. The feigned friendliness was all a rouse to alay our suspicions. Dark fucking acts occur in that lonely isolated factory on the moor, dark fucking acts.

Wind was picking up here as we span along to the the Horseshoe. We all nearly came a cropper on a section of path that had just eroded away, leaving a big gap which would have pitched you well over the abyss. Weester blatted down the steps and Toss faced his nemesis and rode them all with consummate ease. Halfway down, we came accross 2 off roader vehicles who had stopped at the bottom to see if they could find a route across the stream. Seemed friendly enough.

With the wind subsiding, we picked up the pace as flew along towards the start of the climb. The other lads were pestering me like fuck to go for a beer, and, truth be told, deep down I didnt fancy coming back along the Horseshoe past the body farm on my own in the dark, so I relented. 4 Pint limit, to be strictly adhered too, and Weester would back me up.

At the bottom of the rake, Toss and Weester were most put out when I told them that we were NOT going striaght to the pub but were going to do the brutal climb up to the tower. Tough shit, the climb was fucking murder if I'm honest, but the view from the top was just stunning.

Rather curiously, there was a car parked up next to the Tower with some bloke in it. No idea what he was doing up here at 9pm, but we werent about to hang around and let him fire his chainsaw up.

Rocky plunge down to Hey House was taken and was fucking ACE fun. Toss once again facing his demons and riding it like it was nothing! Weester cruised down too. Much big grinning at the bottom.

Ended with a quick spin to the welcoming busom on the Hare and Hounds to sample some fine ale. Lots of lovely ladies in also to provide some very welcome eye candy.

The night went very well, until weester announced "right are we having one for the road". 5 Pints. The utter twat. I looked at him disdainfully, but it was no use. 5 fucking pints, on a school night with 7 miles to ride home.

Oh well, the ride home as it turned out was great fun through the Jumbles and then the valley until Toss grabbed a whole bunch of nettles and rubbed them all over my legs. Got in at 12.20am buzzing and tired and with legs tingling!

Cracking night out... one of the best in ages.

A Sunny Sunday!

2011-11-07T12:54:00.000Z

Toss had been organizing a run out over the moors for CW and JD for a couple of weeks and, with Deb being in Bolton that day, I squared it away with the girls that I could join them. The long forgotten days when we all used to ride every Sunday seemed like a distant memory and I was proper looking forward to it.

Sunday dawned as cloudless sunshine. A lovely day. Proper chilly out of the sun though, but no matter, the bikes would soon warm us up.

Rather predicably we were waiting for CW, who not only arrived late, but then proceeded to get fucking changed also. Jump in your riding gear before you set off next time sunshine! Great turn out too... Toss, Weester, Jason, Andy, CW, JD and myself.

Weester, on spotting that we all had lights shot back to his to fix his light on, and it was probably a good idea as it turned out.

Nice gentle spin up to the car park at Scout Road and we paused to check the view... wonderful day.

Up Coal pit and then the path up to the mast, Jase fookin battered it once again and by the time we had a rest just above the stream my eyes were about to pop. Still it was good stretching the legs and getting the fresh down me lungs. A passing jockster came past us and was utterly on his chin strap, the poor bloke looked as though he was going to pass out. We all had a regroup, Andy was feeling the climb, but was still smiling.

Up on the mast road and CW decided he needed some pictures of him on the Trig point and while they fucked around I shot off to the drop to get some video of the lads coming down. It was infested with paragliders for some reason also... must have been some club or other. Anyway, the grass was proper slippery and I was a touch nervous about descending it, however all the lads came past and flew down the drop, which kind of meant that there was no way I could duck out. Took it easy and it was ok actually, bit more grip than I though there would have been. We stopped at the bottom to watch JD have a go, and fair play... he got down, although I think this was the first time I have ever seen anyone get down the shoulder without the back wheel rotating once! Andy was a bit put off by the steepness and took the descretionary route... still wont be long before we have him riding it!

Along Belmont Road and we all got wet arses, CW and JD getting sore ones too, it is bumpy as ever. Next up the ICR. Passed a Disco nearly at the top which was blocking the trail, but it had compacted some of the babies heads and we all flew down at top speed. I fucking love this little descent... but it does take its toll out of your arms, and in Tossers case, it temporarily transformed him into a fucking mong.

JD faced his demons after his fall here and managed to get down, as did Andy with a fucking big grim on his face!

The steady climb back up through the gardens saw us riding against a descending tide of scum for which Rivvy is sadly famous for at weekends. Quick history lesson at the Bungalow and then up onto the Pike to be assaulted by a dog in a pink cardigan. Good view from the top though.

I suggested taking the fast Rocky Road as its my preference rather than the drop as the ruts at the bottom just ruin it. Much prefer the balls out speed and big hits that the road offers up. Once again, meeting up at the gate with arm pump!

Sun was getting ready to set by now so we headed up Hole in't wall and paused halfway up for some sunset pics.

The climb up is, in all honesty, a bit soul destroying I find, still there was some fucking brilliant entertainment at the top provided by a bell end who had got his audi stuck just off the road. I was fucked if I was going to help him straight away, I wanted to enjoy watching him struggle for a while, but the lads, being much more considerate than I set about it straight away. Jase, pushing with all his might lost his footing just as the car went backwards and ended up face down on the deck! Oh fuck me, how I laughed.

Up to Coal Pit and then we set off down. Not done this run in ages and forgot just how good it was. Especially the bit down past the shooting hut... lovely and flowy if hit with a bit of speed. JD's light refused to work from here on and fair play to the lad for getting down in the pitch dark.

We took the drop from Dean Mills to Coal Pit road and that also was great fun, properly slippery and steep. Final run finished off with a blast down the quarry edge and home.

Superb run out and just the tonic!

A Gifted life ?

2011-11-05T00:01:00.000Z

Are we all mediocre.. or are we all unique.. can each of us have something to give that no one else can ? Can we share what makes us happy with others ? I know there is one medium that can do all these things.... music.

For my brother, music was what he gave, but I know it gave him so much back. He was never more happy than playing harmonica and guitar at places like Band on the Wall... but with a glass in his hand. That glass took over, and ultimately took his life

Today at his funeral, his mates pointed me in the direction of a poem that Ste had once seen... by a New Orleans writer called Julie Kane. He said it summed up why Ste played the Blues Harp

Because it isnt harmonious
Because it gleams like the chorme on a '57 Chevy's front grille,
Because it fits a hobo's bandanna,
Because it tolerates spit; and a little spit means the music is more fervent,
Because its easily rigged to a contraption that frees the hands to play guitar,
because its cynical, yet sings.....
and because it sings when breathing in....

I wish you Gods Speed My Brother. I hope that you are looking down on us now, with Mum, strumming the guitar or mouthing the organ.

Fucking miss you Ste.....

Mud. Not dust.... Mud

2011-11-02T15:15:00.000Z

Its here. Back in all its filthy slippery glory. And I've forgotten how to ride in it.

Tuesday night ride as I'm giving blood on Thursday so wouldn't be able to ride and there was a good turn out of Jocksters to join me.

Toss, Jase, the River (resplendant upon his new bike) and Weester. We all met up at Weesters to faff around with The Rivers air pressures in his shock and fork. I hate setting up new bikes as the recommended settings rarely work and it usually take a bit of fucking around with pressures and rebound to get things running right.

Still everything seemed ok so we set off. Lovely night for it, little bit of cloud cover but the views over Manchester and the star filled sky were wonderful.

Short ride as non of us were in a rush, just a chilled pace, up to the mast road and then onto the Hill and down San Marino. I mentioned that last weeks run was horrendously muddy and slippery and this time it was even worse. Loads of rain ruts all full of slippery mud just waiting to have you off. It occurred to me half way down that I have completely forgotten how to ride is this slippery shit, never mind, soon get the hang of it I reckon, fucking need to anyway as it will be here for the next 5 months!

Still, we all made it to the bottom ok for the quick blast through the woods then the road home. Lovely run out and after all my moaning last week about the moors being rammed with other bikers, we only saw 1 and he was a fucking diamond, inquiring as to how we all were and if we were enjoying the night. Minted.

Night Riding, cheap lights and selfish grumpyness

2011-10-26T11:11:00.000+01:00

I've been night riding for, oh, probably about 8 years now and I love it. Solo and in a group, its great fun. The feeling of being "out there" is much more pronounced when your on a desolate moor in the pitch dark, sometimes it feels like your the only person on the planet.

Over the years we always passed comments about the fair weather bikers... we would be up Rivi in all weathers over the winter months and not see a soul when, suddenly, come the spring all the bikers appear again, much to the amusement of us "badass" bikers.

However, last years crop of ludicrously bright and cheap lights have seen an explosion in people night riding. And being a grumpy twat, I dont like it. We no longer have the quiet desolate moors to ourselves, infact, its like fucking daylight up there with the amount of lights around. Not much I can do about it so suppose I'll just have to get use to sharing my trails.

Tuesday night was something of an exception though. The only other bikers I saw were a group of about 5 descending Coal Pit as I was coming up the mast road.

The night started lovely. Reasonably warm and clear, some good views over Manchester as I climbed up Coal Pit Road. Took the track over to Burnt Edge and the rain started in spots. Climbing the mast road it got progressively worse until at the top, big fat drops were falling on me. Straight down San Marino then. Fuck me it was slippery, nearly binned it on three separate occasions, the rain hitting my glasses didnt help. What was worse though was flatting near the old Quarry. I only had my bar light so trying to change the tube with just that in the rain was pure comedy.

Made it to the road, comprehensively covered in mud and then blatted it home. Pissed wet through, filthy but fucking loved it!!

Sanity... and how to fucking keep it.

2011-10-24T13:47:00.001+01:00

My Bike. Thats how.

My shit year just got shitter on Saturday with the death of my eldest brother. Holding someone's hand while they breathe their last is not nice, and I've done it twice this year with my Mum passing in February. Naturally, was utterly pissed off on Saturday night, but Sunday dawned a bit bleak but dry. Nothing was going to stop me getting out.

Up Horrocks Fold to Burnt Edge and down the Hole in't wall. Bit slippery, but I was riding at a reflective pace, just happy to be out in the savage wind. Up onto the Pike for the first time in ages and then blasted back down. Passed a group of about 6 Jocksters and got totally blanked when I offered a cheery "morning". Fucking ignorant cunts. Riding on my land, without my permission and then completely ignore a greeting from a fellow biker. Fuck you.

Battered down the ICR and then straight back up through the gardens, my faith in humanity restored with many "hello's" to walkers and some MRT guys who were practicing S&R in Catter Nab Gulley.

At the top I did think about going up the hill and down San Marino, but it was so great being out in daylight that I extended the ride. Piss Poor to Sheep Houses got covered in mud descending the quarry to Belmont... fucking brilliant. I then took the Dam over Belmont Res and couldnt believe the amount of work that they have done on the new overflow... massive scheme. Not surprised they were there for so long.

Went past all the Bummers at Blow Job, there were loads of guys milling around just in the woods at the Gayby, must be something in the air.

I took the roller coaster through the forest, bloody hard work going in the opposite direction as it has a couple of proper steep climbs. Grabbed a bench at the memorial forest and had a few minutes of contemplation, remembering some of the good times with our kid. Witton Weavers, golf course and tip, then Higher Ridings got me home. A wonderful wonderful ride out and just what I needed. What I would ever do without my bike I just dont know.

Steven John Lowe 27th Feb 1960 - 22nd Oct 2011 RIP.

Wet Thursdays

2011-10-14T21:29:00.000+01:00

Me, Toss and Jase only for this run. Weester had something on. After the days of continual PISS we decided to have a quick one, down the valley, jumbles, Chapletown, WW, blowjob alley and then the pub. Was proper slippery and wet. Not much else to report really, bike behaved itself, was a lovely night to be out actually, I even changed into a short sleeve at Wayoh as it was so warm.

5 pints of BTB in the tap gave me a bit of a headache in the morning though. Jase had 6 on a school night, the total fucking DOG.

I think the proper winter is coming now... forecast for this week is shit too, still, need to get out at least twice.

DUST! in late September

2011-09-29T11:17:00.000+01:00

Home from work at 5.30, no girls and straight out!! Riding for 5.45 for a quick cheeky night out on a Wednesday. It was lovely. Hot, sunny and dusty. Seems like mother nature finally got off her fat arse and kicked summer into go.... only 3 months too late!

Up onto Scout Road, I took the farm path from Colliers Row up to Coal Pit for a change and had a chinwag with a couple of horse riders... mmm tight riding pants really do make the most unattractive of females look hot.

Up over the gate and up to the mast... lovely views and a quick chat with 3 Jocksters coming down.

Soon at the top and the ground was dusty and fast I took the road up to the trig point and then headed back down to San Marino.

Lovely run down till I got a flat near Bog Monster... really pissed me off and I was flying down!

Nice spin back along the road and home just before the lights needed to be switched on.

Smashing.

Late again, but another great ride

2011-09-23T14:18:00.001+01:00

Getting pretty lucky with the weather at the moment. Thursday was a lovely day and just as we were getting ready, a big fucking cloud just missed us. On the subject of getting ready, we had 2 new recruits on Thursday! CW arrived fashionably late and proceeded to stuff his fucking face with burgers while attempting to assemble his bike (we watched, fuck that helping shit), however Tosser's other workmate was admirably early and keen as Mustard. Big fucker too John. He'll get on well with Jase.

We eventually set of at about 7.20 and Weester was already waiting at the petrol station. Of we set to do the repeat of last weeks ride, the intention being to show some of the best local stuff to the new lads!

Up the rocks to Burnt edge and I managed to clear them again without dabbing and so did Weester. Toss only dabbed once, although that was from the bottom to the top, he fucking pushed. CW again, brought a knife to a gun fight in the shape of his massively inappropriate Norco pushed, but it looked like John was having a good go.

Down the kennels and the mist at the top proved a bit tricky as it blasted the beam back at us, still it cleared halfway down. Quick spin along Georges Lane and a pause at the top of the ICR. Off we set and once again, my Turner just hooked up. Felt superb on the downhill, I could hear CW behind me but suspected an off as I soon lost him and was waiting at the bottom for a while. Turns out his battery fell off, although that paled into insignificance as to what happened to John. All night he had been struggling to keep the connector together on his new light and half way down, it cut out pitching him straight over the bars. Not the most ideal section of trail to do a superman either. Apparently, couple of days later, his bruising has developed into a spectacular cascade of blues and purples. The real laugh though has to be him taking the light into see the sparks at work the next day, only to realize that he hadnt pushed the fucking connector together properly, the bell end!

Good run up through the gardens and I shamed CW into actually riding his fucking bike rather than pushing it up the gentle slope. All made it back up to Georges Lane and we decided to push up the Kennels rather that the long drag up hole in't wall. The lads were flagging a bit here, Toss and his bum chums in fairness had been commuting all week and with that in mind did fucking well. Me and Weester managed to ride up to the road, although it was proper slippery. Toss was on the verge of bonking at the mast road, however CW came up trumps with some peanuts.. I let him have the rest of my high energy Jizz which apparently fucked him up later in the evening.

Arrived at the top of San Marino and set off... it really is in good nick at the moment, flying down with CW right up my chuff, however at the bottom there was no sign of anyone behind... turns out his light cut out halfway down, all the other lads making it down without too many dramas.

Spin back along the road, no pub so straight home to wash the bike and watch CW and John try and wedge 2 bikes in a C1. A good effort.

Cracking night out really enjoyed it and once again, the bike performed faultlessly.

Need beer for the next ride I reckon!

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me ...................

2011-09-16T12:41:00.000+01:00

Regular readers will be well versed with my love hate relationship with my new bike. I have had a couple of rides where she has behaved wonderfully, the rest, well, she behaved as though I had been shagging her sister. Threw me off more times than I remember and I'm still nursing the injuries from her Cross Fell strop.

So Thursday night rolls around and just me Jase and Weester out. We had picked the only fine day of the current monsoon and it was warm too. I was in short sleeves all night! We set off from Weesters with a plan of the usual 3 downs ride..... Kennels, ICR and San Marino.

Jase fookin battered me up to Horrocks Fold Car park, the twat, I was blowing out of my arse straight away. Weester, rather predictably was faffing with his shock here for a while. We took the rocky track up to Burnt Edge and the bike was pedaling very well. Since sorting the fork out and putting a bit more pressure in the back, its felt a different bike, so much so that I flew up the rocks with out one dab! Still shagged out at the top though. The Sun had already sunk beyond the horizon so we missed it setting but the red night sky looked ace.

Along past the old reservoir and we hit the road to the Kennels. Stopped here and was buzzed for fucking ages by a paraglider with a big fucking noisy fan on his back. Talk about ruining the moment.. sounded like a set of bee's buzzing us all night. Still, at least he didnt gob on us.

Lights on for the Kennel run which was properly slippy at the top but not too back lower down. I minced the chute AGAIN... I really cant get the monkey off my back with this chute after falling off here probably about 4 years ago. This did not instill me with much confidence for the ICR. However, Fork was working well and I remembered my theory that perhaps this bike needs thrashing to get the best out of it.

So as we spun past a load of girls up on the moors on their own at this ungodly hour (!?!) I hit the ICR without even stopping to regroup. Bang... the bike just came alive, probably the fastest I've come down here for ages, even jumped off the Tarmac Ramp! The rocks were just eaten up by the bike an I pedalled hard all the way down! Utterly buzzing at the bottom!!

Fun over, the climb back up through the garden was nice and easy and then we flew down to the Hole in't Wall. Chatted to a couple of jocksters from Preston and then started the long climb. I never seem to get to the top of this climb without a stitch, again Jason, the bastard, battering me and weester up it. He then set of at a roaring fucking pace up the mast road. By the time we hit the top of San Marino, I was incapable of speech. Quick pause at the top and I mention to the lads that Donk had blogged that it had got a few new ruts from the recent rains, and we agreed to take it easy. However, I set off and, once again the bike felt wonderful, rock steady and held every line I pointed it at. I was at the forest gate before I knew what was happening, totally pumped! Fantastic. Weester picked up a puncture so, being total fucking gents, we waited for him, listening to his whoops and curses as he found the ruts at the bottom.

Spin back along the road was ace with a tow from the two in front, they headed to the pub I headed for home, being skint. What a bastard.

So, tonight at least, she loved me and I loved her. I feel true love may soon be blossoming!

Back to the old routine!

2011-09-09T11:22:00.000+01:00

Getting a bit remiss with these blog posts... I need to sort my shit out.

Excellent. School holidays over, normal service can resume! Normal service in the case means a Thursday night ride followed by some sherberts in the pub.

As it turned out just me and Toss were riding. The weather had been truely horrific and Jase had been communting in it so he bailed, Weester fell out with everyone and Clarkey was going to just meet us in the pub!

So we decided on a fairly low key ride. Through the Valley, Jumbles, Victoria Mill, Cheeky path up to the WW, Torra Manor, Cox Green, Blow Job and then back along Belmont Road. The ground was totally saturated, we were slip sliding all over the shop, and, ominously we both had mud guards on for the first time this year. Lights were required from 8pm too...

Back to the Tap for 4 pints of fine ale.

Ride the lights

2011-08-31T09:44:00.000+01:00

Bit late with this blog as I was waiting to get the better pictures of Toss, the bell end.

Day off on the Tuesday so borrowed a vaaaaaaaaan, loaded the bikes up and headed up to Bispham via Sue and Charlies for a brew. The weather all day in Bolton had not been promising, however it cleared up as we hit Blackpool and fortunately stayed both dry and lovely and clear the whole ride.

Met up with the Weester and Toss clans saddled up and headed up to the prom.

Lovely clear night, we could clearly see Anglesy and Snowdonia, but the lights were not very noticable as it was still light. I have to say I was astonished at how many cyclists there were out... it was rammed.

We had a nice wind assisted spin all the way to Starr Gate where we grabbed a drink and loitered around waiting for it to go properly dark, then headed back. The lights were ok, but this was just THE best way to see them, spinning up along a traffic free prom with the kids and mates! Brilliant.

Jaz had a bit of a coming together with Weesters bike which tinged the evening a bit, but she was ok, being hard as nails. Finished off the night with a chippy tea at Bispham. Fookin ACE night out.

Some pics :-

Wednesday sunsets.

2011-08-25T12:11:00.000+01:00

Riding Wednesday this week as Graham and chums were supposed to be coming over for a guided ride around the fleshpots of Rivi, but he'd broken his arm wanking apparently.

Therefore solo mission. I did plan to doing a decent ride, but my legs were a bit tired from Mondays race round Darwen so I took my time and pootled up to two lads. I did take the bike up the rocky track to Burnt Edge to see how well it climbed against my old bike and I flew up it dab free. I have to say that it really is a brilliant climber.

For a change I took the muddy track to the top of Two Lads from the road and then the singletrack up to Winter Hill mast.

My timing was perfect to see the sun setting so I headed up to the shoulder to grab some pics.

And zoomed but a bit shakey....

Anyway, you get the idea... stunning!

So what to ride home ? I thought I'd finally have a go at the full ridge ride down to the Singletrack from Dean Mills Reservoir. Been meaning to have a go at it for over 3 years now, and lets just say I wont be doing it again any time soon. Its the only descent off Winter Hill that requires pedalling all the way down hill.

The ST to Scout Road was nice, but in the failing light and overgrown grass I had a few moments. Minced down the steep stuff and walked the corner... Fair play to Donk for clearing that. It is fucking steep.

Flicked the light on for the run past the tramp and home.

Lights now needed for anything after 8.30 I reckon. Lovely to get out again though.

Love Blossoms..... Darwen nights

2011-08-23T13:56:00.000+01:00

Love blossoms with my new bike... well, this time it didnt try to kill me and I had a great ride, so after recent outings I'll take that.

Was pissed off that I never managed to get out on Sunday, a rare child free sunny day, however, important hangover commitments put paid to any form of movement on Sunday and I reaquainted myself with the comfort of the sofa. Come Sunday night I was still miffed about not riding. Monday dawned sunny and stayed that way all day, so fuck it.... I visited a site on the way home which meant I got in from work for about 5pm. Out on the bike by 6. I spent the hour eating tea but also setting up my fork as per the instructions I got on STW, charged the lights and headed out for a big ride.

Down the steps into the valley and the fork was transformed. Superb big and small hit resistance and felt brilliant with the fast multiple hit stuff... the back end however felt terrible. I stopped and realized that I had wound on full rebound on the rear and it was just packing down. Changed it back and hey presto, the bike came alive.... fucking brilliant. Soaked the rocks down to Longworth bridge up brilliantly.

Up past the bummers on Blow Job Alley and then took piss poor up to higher pastures then up onto the moor. It was a wonderful night and visability was endless. The views started at Snowdon, Liverpool, Dee esturary wind farm, Blackpool, Isle of Man, Morcambe bay turbines, Lake District, Pennines and the three peaks. All so clear. It was picture overload.

The only problem was the midges. Horrific. Never ever known it as bad. If I wasn't getting bitten by them, I was inhaling vast quantities. Clouds of them just hovering above the boggy moor.

A scoot over to the tower and I nearly fell off when the front wheel grabbed one of the ruts coming down to Duckshaw Clough... not the bikes fault... mine. Over the moor top and arrived at the tower to stunning views all round.

I could see the Sun sinking towards the horizon and REALLY wanted to hang about to see it set, but I was getting eaten alive, so I just got the hell out of Dodge. Along the edge then threw it down Stepback Clough at warp speed. Coming round the corner out of the Forest and the light was tremendous....

I nailed the run down to the Cafe and the bike was just wonderful over the fast small and big hits... soaking them all up without any problem. Road back to piss poor then flew back the way I came. Needed lights coming back through the golf zzzzzzzzzz.... sorry...

Was just a sensational night to be out on the moors riding a bike... got home totally buzzing but couldn't get to sleep :(

Skyride Blackpool

2011-08-17T08:54:00.000+01:00

About 4000 turned out for this one. Very nice, starting at Stanley Park and meandering through the town and the pedestrian areas before going up and down on the Prom. Back to Stanley park where we spent all afternoon dicking around on the BMX track. Great fun.

Winter Hill and San Marino

2011-08-10T09:31:00.001+01:00

Hardly worth Blogging really. Late start as I got stuck in the M60 closure so me and Jase didnt set off till 7.30. We hammered up Winter Hill, not been up Coal Pit for months, proper pushed myself and had a stitch all the way up, Jase didn't even break sweat. The cunt.

I was determined to hammer San Marino. I'm coming around to thinking that this bike responds well be being thrashed. Every time its tried to Kill me its been when I have been mincing. Graham had a similar relationship when he got his Heckler a while back... That pitched him over the bars several times and broke his nose on Nan Bield. The other night ride a few weeks ago the bike felt so planted, well I rode it like a loon, battered every downhill... and the penny is dropping. It needs to be thrashed to get the best out of it.

Another Jockster arrived at the top just behind us and Jase set off. I gave him 20 seconds or so and set off after him. 20 yards in and WHACK... big fucking stone impacts on my shin... then bang. Rear tire let go. Double fuck.

Fixed that and then hammered down the rest of the run, and it did feel a lot better at speed. My thumb however is still wrecking from my off at Cross Fell the other week.

Met the other Jockster at the bottom, turns out he lives local to us so we invited him out to play on our Thursday rides... bit more company is always welcome.

At the bottom I checked on my shin and marveled at the impressive egg that had arisen. Fuck me it hurts.

Spin home and shower. Shit it was good to get out and even nicer that we managed to get out in probably the only sunshine this week has to offer.

August is turning out to be a right old washout.

Skyride Manchester

2011-08-08T12:39:00.000+01:00

Found out about this last year but couldnt make it. This year I planned to take the girls along.

Day dawned very wet... torrential downpour in Bolton, but we loaded the van up and popped round to Weesters to collect Sarah;s bike which Jaz would be riding. Weester was coming with James too. I said that we would drive there and see how the weather looked.

Pulled up on the car park and fortunately it relented so we geared up and headed over to the start at Eastlands.

After a bit of faffing and getting our free vests on we set off, mostly all downhill into the city centre. I have to say it was rammed. Loads of cyclists out, and being the over protective Dad I am I was panicking about Jaz and Kelsey colliding with everyone. They were fine though.

Once we got into the City proper it was ace... spinning along the normally rammed city streets with just other bikers and no cars it was great.

We arrived in Castlefield and listened to a bit of Caribbean Shakespeare, recited to a slow drum beat (?!) and then watched the BMX kids jumping around.

Bit of a rest and refreshments and we headed back through the city to Sportscity. Just got caught in a shower for the last 5 minutes but otherwise we missed most of the rain.

Cracking day out and good to get the girls out on a bike!

Big Country Rides - Cross Fell or Why does my bike try to Kill Me.

2011-08-01T14:41:00.000+01:00

I had to drop the Girls off at Blackpool on Sunday at 11am, this left the day free. Whohooo a Sunday ride, the world was my Oyster!!

So I hatch a plan, drop the girls off, high tail it up to Dufton and ride This Route. Ok, not strictly speak Cross Fell, but I was planning on bagging the summit in an up / down from the col between Cross Fell and Little Dun Fell.

Was predictably running a little late and didn't get to Dufton till 1.30pm. A ludicrous time to start an epic ride, but I had charged and fitted my lights in anticipation of a late finish. Through the picturesque village green I started the climb up to the Nick. Fuck me this one goes on... unremittingly steep, it sails ever upwards towards the horizon without mercy. In the hot and humid weather I was sweating buckets. Turning the corner at the wall as I joined the edge of the Nick, the path soon turned into an undulating mass of boulders and smooth limestone. After one little diversion down a steep bouldery slope I felt like the bike just watched to pitch me over the bars at any given opportunity.. the thing really did have a mind of its own and today, I wasn't up to the job of controlling it. At one point i even got off and walked down a seemingly innocuous chute. I really do feel way to far forward on this bike, like I'm going to get pitched over the bars straight away. Will aybe shift the saddle back a bit for the next ride, but a up / down seatpost is needed for my confidence.

Nice spin on close cropped grass to the top of the Nick and the view was stunning. It really is a breath taking geological feature when seen from its head. I forded the stream and hit the first disaster of the day. Another problem I have found with the bike is that the front end wants to pop up ALL the time when climbing steep stuff. Just the other side of the stream was a steep little up... probably about 6m or so. On my old bike I would have pissed it. Anyway, set of up this, gets to about a meter before the top and stalls. Front wheel starts lifting and over I go BACKWARDS... fookin ridiculous. A full on back somersault still clipped in, landed like a sack of shit some 3 meters back down the hill for the bike to come crashing down on me. A moment or two spent checking myself over and the only injury I had was my right thumb... it was fucking killing me. Keeping it moving seemed the best bet and I had a lot of movement in it so I decided to carry on. With hindsight, I should have turned back here.

A lovely gentle spin along close cut grass to Maize Beck then over the bridge for a climb over Rasp Hill. Big wide country up here... the moor stretching in all directions as far as the eye could see. The down hill to Cow Green started about here. The track is very rough and I just could not get a grip on the bars that didnt have my thumb in pain. Using the Gears was a no no as was braking. At Cow Green, took a few pics then followed the long boring mine road around Backside Fell whilst keeping a eye out for a suitable peel off point to head across country to Metalband hill and the start of the Trout Beck climb. It wasn't too bad actually, difficult riding but nothing too extreme, although at one point I had to get a compass bearing to make sure I was heading in the right direction. Pushing the bike was hurting my hand even more that riding at this stage, but I thought "soon be on the BW, I'll be ok then". How fucking wrong was I ? I never ever want to see this track ever again. Boggy, rocky, rutty and washed away by the river. It was stop start stop start all the fucking way up. The sections of the trail that had been washed away had to be negotiated by pushing the bike along a loose precarious slope, the pedals twatting me constantly (I tell you... this bike fucking hates me). It was just not fun, even less so with a thumb that screemed out in pain at the merest knock. It was getting so bad that I was beginning to dread the very reason I was here to do this ride... the Fabled Blencarn descent. A massive long bumpy descent with a busted thumb was not appealing at this moment.

I finally climbed out of the path from hell and reached the road near the top of Great Dun Fell. Here I had to make a choice... push on over Great and Little Dun fell to the Blencarn descent... I really really wanted to do this having worked so hard to get here, but it was just not a sensible option. The descent would have been agony. The other options were the Silverband to Milburn BW... but again, I had no knowledge of this and didnt know if it would be rough... so I had no option than to take the tarmac all the way down.

It was the sensible option but it broke my heart loosing all that altitude with a tarmac descent.

I arrived back at the car not long after in Dufton, packed up and found the nearest shop to get some ibuprofen.

Later in the shower I found 3 other particularly impressive bruises, shoulder, leg and back.

Gutted about not finishing the ride, I'd looked forward to it for so long and this being a Day ride when I didnt have the kids. Still cant be helped.

I am however, having a real love hate relationship with this new bike. I've had one ride where is felt fucking brilliant, the last two however I have just felt like it wants to kill me. The front end pops up for fun, on anything remotely steep if feels like I'm going to get pitched over the bars and the amount of pedal strikes I had on this ride was plain ridiculous. I want desperately to like it, but fuck me I want my old one back.

Rivi at its best... shame I rode like a tool

2011-07-28T16:31:00.000+01:00

Two rides in two nights!! fucking get in!

After last nights blast round the quarries, no kids, no commitments and a nice forecast was the combination I needed for Wednesday night!

Up Horrocks to Two Lads then down the kennels. It was soon apparent that I was unable to steer or control a bicycle at all tonight.. having a few close shaves and even tripoding my way down the chute. Determined to sort myself out I headed over to the Ice Cream Run, where things got even worse. I was being pinged about all over the fucking show, totally out of control and again, I even came to a halt after the last hairpin. Its times like these that you have to admit your just having a bad night, bike wise and take it easy before you do some damage.

So knocked it down a gear and took the rest of the ride easy. The climb up through the Gardens was ok, lovely views of the slowly setting sun, however, bumped into a big group coming down the DH lines that the kids cut a while back. This is the very reason that bikers were nearly kicked out of the garden by UU a while ago.

Up hole in't wall and then the access road. Top of San Marino and here again I decided to take my time, great run down though but the marbles at the bottom are fucking lethal now, need a bit of rain on them to tighten them up a bit.

Passed a big group at the end of the forest, couple of them offa STW as it turned out.

I headed off for home, but the red light cast by the setting sun grabbed my attention on overflow tower at Springs res... So I hopped over and grabbed a pic.. Turned out ok for a phone camera I reckon...

Got home in one piece thank god and buzzing.... an off night on the bike so rather than a fast paced adrenalin hit, took the slow, steady relaxing option... Wonderful.

Lee and Cragg.... big pedals and big grins.

2011-07-27T16:29:00.000+01:00

Tuesday afternoon and the ex was having the kids, so at 4pm packed up and headed to Lee Quarry. I;ve not been since they did the extra stuff at Cragg, new pump track at Lee so was looking forward to it. Been nice and dry too so lots of dusty riding was in the offing.

Quite a lot of broken glass down on the roads so I decided to park on Futures. Kitted up and headed up the hill. Place was pretty quiet but then I was early and most people would be a work still.

The big berm has been repaired and rode really well and I was soon over the two tables into the skills area, these also have been beefed up a bit. Spin up to the top of the trail head and grabbed a quick pic.

They have put a small red run in to compliment the existing 2 reds and black, and whilst short its still good fun. I rode all 4 runs and did the right hand side one last, hit the rocks at the end very hard and flatted both tyres :( Fortunatly I had brought 2 tubes with me, but that was it so I had to go pretty easy after that.

Took the long drag up to the Famine Road and then onto Cragg. I like Cragg... is very flowy and the extra sections they have put in are ace... its just hard work. To really enjoy the track, you have to be pedalling all the way round and it really took it out of me. Saw a few other bikers on the outbound section as I was heading back.

Back up the road to start the decent. I took the 1st couple of jumps ok, but then on a larger one, I fcuked it up once again and the front wheel nose dived. Really close to going over to a painful faceplant, but the forks bottomed out and took it. Shit myself. I either should just keep things on the ground or get myself some proper instruction as to how to jump cause I really am shit at it.

Back into Lee and rather than turn left, I went right and down the slab, over the bridge and did the berms into the skills area again. Battered the hill the all the old red to the gate and then went up to have a look at the new pump track. Suprisingly they were both empty so I have a quick play, then went to have a look at the drops that have been causing so many problems. I have to say I didnt fancy any of the fuckers.... way above my ball size.

The problem is the run out... there practically isnt one.

Watched a few lads size them up and all take the easy drop and then decided to do another loop of the red and back to the car... flowed really well, the bit through the woods is just ace, very reminiscent of Penmachno.

Was pretty shagged out by the time I got to the car... and only 14miles. I think it must have been all the pedaling in Cragg the fucked me up. Great night though.

STW in Delamere - Cheering up the big man!

2011-07-27T11:29:00.000+01:00

Poor Ton. He got diagnosed with a electrical fault with his ticker towards the end of last year. This has mean that he hasnt ridden all year! The thought of that would tip me over the edge no problem. However, over the last few weeks, they have been adjusting his drugs so it can allow him to exercise a little. So, we decided to get a few mates together and go for a gentle spin. Nick kindly offered to lead us around Delamere, which is pretty flat but with lots of off piste.

So we all meet up at Linmere car park and proceed to get anally raped by the Forestry Commision. SIX fucking pounds to park. Robbing cunts! Good turn out, 20 riders and 19 bikes! Yep, Jules had brought the tandem, everyone having a play around in the car park.

Off we set for a gentle spin along a fire road and straight away we got split up. Fortunatly Graham came rushing up to the first group and caught us and we had a bit of a regroup. Through some lovely forest singletrack and there were all manner of little trail features to keep us on our toes.

Graham got a nice pic of us all coming over a little ladder, there were quite a few of these littered around the place.

Steep climb got us up to the 4cross track and a little DH track. Looked fun and most of us to a turn down it. Tony jumping his way down most of the run showing us all how its done.

We also paused here for the obligatory group shot.

Lots of trails followed, generally flat but all taken at a reasonable pace with lots of snaking singletrack. The weather was wonderful and it was turning into a very nice ride out.

At one spot, Tony found a little drop with a kicker at the top and said it would be a great little practice to a jump. Graham and Hora had a go but bearing in mind my history with jumps, I stayed well clear.

Lunch stop followed at a cracking little butty van, Giant Bratwurst for me with onions and mustard... Just the tonic following the previous nights bottle of red.

Last section of the route took us up a pretty sharp climb and then two options to plunge off... I followed some lads to the steeper option and promptly shit myself when I saw it. Everyone rode down but I shamefully walked it.

Big Ton had been riding steadily all afternoon and did really well on the ride considering his long absence. He even had a crack at a bomb hole jump at the end.

Great run out with old mates. Only came to 13 miles in the end, but all at a very relaxed and social pace.

Its nights like these you learn to live again....

2011-07-15T10:21:00.000+01:00

The last few weeks have been very frustrating from a bike riding point of view. Little things, stuff to do, people to see have conspired to keep me away from riding a bike and its been getting me down. Plus, I have a new bike, which, due to aforementioned shit, has not been ridden and therefore I've not "clicked" with it. Gisburn was disappointing, however after last night I think that was just down to a head full of mither.

So Thursday night was EAGERLY anticipated. Forecast was good and Wednesday night provided a lovely evening so we were all set.

Met up with Toss, Wors and the River and then headed over to Weesters. Climb up through Horrocks fold to Scout Road where the wind kicked up. Pretty brutal to be honest and I was struggling to keep up with the lads. Through the forest and up to Two lads. We decided to fly down the kennels and for the first time the bike started to feel good. Very good infact... I nailed it down and it just chewed up the ruts and sorted out some pretty shitty line choices for me, all the drops jumped at top tilt and before I knew it we were at the kennels with a stupid fucking grim on my face!

We all regrouped at the kennels and headed over to Rivi, plenty of people about, but not as many bikers as I would have expected on such a lovely evening. At the top of the ICR, we suggested that the River took the gardens and Toss elected to lead him down. Weester came up with some wind and piss about his shock not working to perfection so he went down there too.

Me and Jase set off and once again, the bike just felt fucking supreme. Back end nailed to the trail, had a bit of a wobble near the slab at high speed, but the rest of the run down was Faaaaaast... getting to the bottom whooping like a kid! The others soon joined us and we set off for Anglezarke.

Nice spin along the road and past Wilcox Farm we checked out the sign selling half and full Lamb freezer packs... just the job for a proper carnivore.

At the start of the headland path, the track was bone dry and with loads of grip so off we set. I love this track at night time, flows well and is proper fast in places. The River took a bit of a tumble, managed to go over the bars going up hill!! Proper impressive. On the run down to the steps I managed to get it a bit wrong on the loose gravel and ended up skidding to the edge of the track, heading for a bit fucking drop. Very last minute the front wheel grabbed a bit of traction and managed to keep it together. Me and Jase got bitten to shit waiting for the other lads. Unfortunately The River had broken his light in the fall mean that his ride would be pretty much over as the Sun would be setting soon after Healy Nab. We bid him farewell and he headed for home.

I love this section of trail.. short but sweet. The Singletrack through the meadow followed by the fast muddy tree run. I was chasing Jase when his bar clipped a tree, I thought he managed to hold it, but he was heading for the edge of the lake and anchored up sending the big bastard straight over the bars! Fucking massive thud as he hit the deck. He was sound though, although he too, snapped his light bracket. Toss had stopped also, and after we got back on, I followed him and have to say he was flying through the woods, chucking his bike this way and that.

Watermans cottage came and went and then at the top we bumped into Iggy Pop of all people, he had just got back from a "rad spin" round the Nab and was obviously "stoked". We were soon at the trail head and Jase went on ahead to get a couple of shots. Came out alreet too....

The trail was lovely and dry and all the berms had plenty of grip, the only problem was that in the fading light it was just a bit too dark, but not dark enough for lights. Toss expressed alarm and the surprise rock ladder, frankly shitting it aparently, but got down no problem.

Back at the trail head the guys pointed out the big fuck off moon coming up over Rivi Pike. It really was turning into a stunning night.

We all flew down the BW to Kelly's farm, spinning out in top and getting whipped by the brambles as we hurtled down in the failing light. For a change we took the lakeside ST and it was just as good as I remembered it, but the stile at the far end was just as much of a fucker as it always was. The pull up to the Bridleway at Yarrow reservoir framed the rising moon at the top. Sadly my shity phone camera couldnt really handle the low light.

We took a bit of a straw poll here and decided to take the left and head up Lead Mines... the long road to ruin.

ON Yarrow Dam the reflection of the moon on the lake was stunning.....

Up though lead mines and we stopped to admire the medeival piss stones... cultured set back then... and started the climb. My legs were pretty shot by this stage, however Dusk turning to twilight and then to dark was stunning to watch as we spun the cranks on the slow painful climb.

Arrived at Sheep House lane, pretty glad to see the tarmac actually. Path of least resistance home on lights... arrived home just shy of 11pm.

The bike is now feeling brilliant... it did everything I wanted it to last night and handled the ICR better than any bike I've ever thrown a leg over. A few more rides and I'll be in love.

As for the night ride.... well life doesnt get much better if you ask me... riding dry dusty trails, through evening to dusk to twilight to night in the company of great mates. Only beer was missing.

Forgive me for I have sinned. The Manchester Blackpool Ride

2011-07-12T10:52:00.000+01:00

After binning the Coast to Coast which we were going to do for Charity this year, we decided to have a pop at the Manchester to Blackpool. We all duly entered and had a team of 8. First up the sponsorship. We did very well and way exceeded our target. Toss and the River both doing outstandingly well. We raised over £2000.00 for the Chirstie.

Early start and John kindly offered to ferry us and the bikes down to old Trafford and Dave took the remaining guys. We arrived and kitted up and were all on the start line for about 7.50. There were fookin thousands of cyclists around, some number plates we saw were over 8000. This could only mean one thing... fookin carnage. Hoards of bikers, most of which with very poor road sense sharing roads with cars, vans and wagons. Pretty scary at times.

The route took us through Trafford Park, Worsley, and through the Badlands of Leigh before heading out to Standish. The Road Bike I had borrowed off Johnnie was behaving itself and I really did find pedalling on the tarmac a piece of piss. Generally we were sailing past most people with very few coming past us. That was until the first puncture. Clarkey, the fat bastard, had blown a tyre. I called Toss to tell them to wait and after much moaning from Pikey they did indeed hold up for us. Took a lot longer as the new tube that Clarkey put in also punctured about 15 mins parked up all in. Good excuse to get the tangfastics and CW's excellent flap jack out too. I'll grudgingly admit to nearly enjoying the next bit pas Haigh Hall and down to Red Rock. Pretty quick, I think Wors's GPS had it at 39 or so. Up the hill to the halfway point and we were all still going strong.

We stopped at the Saddle for a quick regroup and realised that we had lost Pikey... he had continued and we didn't see him till the end of the ride at Star Gate. We were about to set off when a Marshall came over to enquire if we were ready to "Launch". I think this was a very polite way of saying "fuck off your blocking the exit", which we duly did.

Everyone went well all the way to the end in Blackpool, Clarkey doing exceptionally well after only 2 rides all year, however he did admit to having an arse like a "blood orange". The end was quite good, spectators all clapping home the cyclists, we arrived 8 abreast to cross the line together, Pikey having waited 1k from the end.

Gentle spin up the Prom to the Van at Bispham, then back home for our reward in the Tap followed by a Curry.

All in all a great day out with the lads, but if I'm honest, road riding just really doesn't do it for me. Give me an off road ride any day.

Gisburn, dust, flies, hayfever and the First run on the Turner.

2011-07-05T11:37:00.001+01:00

Arrived at Cocklet Hill straight after work for my Bikes first proper shakedown. Car park was nearly empty which I was surprised at given the weather.

Straight away my eyes were streaming getting the bike out and I got going as soon as I could. The run down to Stocks was nice and fast, Pikey's corner now has shit loads of tyre tracks heading into a very big ditch. I reckon there will be a few broken people courtesy of that little obstacle.

The view over Stocks was nice and I managed to grab a quick phone shot.

Quick climb to the fire road and onto the brand new section. Lovely bit of volunteer built track that weaves between fire break and forest. One of those well built sections that keep you on your toes and don't realise that you are actually climbing. It spits you out at the top of Home Brewed. This section is now starting to suffer from some pretty bad brake bumps... the stone staircase still gives you a bit of a twitch until your actually on it.

Passed the only two other bikers I saw all night here on the climb up to the quarry... the flies were buzzing all over me on the climb, was a real pain in the arse. Obligatory picture stop at the top of the climb with the new bike...

Through the quarry and over the woodwork, the track up to Whelpstone has now been repaired and its a massive improvement. Volunteer built and very stable, made the switchback climb doable for a change.

I didn't bother with the slab as I aint got a QR for the seatpost yet and CBA dropping the saddle with an allen key. The Berms down the next fire road were ace though. Hulley Gully was next... more braking bumps but the berms are sufficiently high to keep off the brakes for most of them. I went a bit cautious as I knew they had repaired the gully recently so didnt know where to expect the loose stone, still managed to hit the top of every berm though. Got to the bottom with a big fucking grim on my face, so turned right and climbed back up for another go. Battered it this time and was whooping at the bottom. Great fun.

I always think the rest of the ride is a bit of a disappointment after the gully, but hit it as fast as you can and there is still a lot to keep you on your toes. Did the 1st leg of the skinny, but bottled the second one. I'll save that for when I come with riding mates... always helps when your being egged on.

Fast blast back to the car park and I was itching all over... major pollen count, just wanted to get in the car and get out of there.

So, the new bike. Lovely and stiff... pedals very well, so well in fact that it feels like I have a smaller chainring on. I need to sort out pressures on both the fork and shock. I forgot to take the shock pump so I couldn't really play around with the settings. With hindsight though, I should have gone to Lee Quarry. Gisburn is good, but its just not Lee, where there are so many different lines, rocks and tracks to carve up. Initial feelings are though, that while its a great bike, its just not as fast as the old one. I cant put my finger on it, but for out and out speed for some reason it feels slower. Maybe this is due to the fact that this is a medium and has a smaller wheelbase and I'm not as stretched out, I'm not sure. Early days yet. It took me about 6 rides to set the RP23 up on the old one.

Lee Quarry with a shock pump needs a visit soon.

Mmmmmmmm my new baby.

2011-07-01T15:51:00.000+01:00

She rides like a dream. Increadably stiff, pedals so quick and feels pretty light for such a bombproof build. Only snag is Merlin put the wrong front mech on it and the swingarm hits the bottom pull bit. Needs changing tomorrow, but otherwise I'm in love.

Quick ride out last night to shake her down up to Entwistle and back to the tap. Lots of nettle stings and bramble scratches and 5 pints of wonderful wonderful ale.

I'm going to fucking batter this bike next week!

Yay... a ride!

2011-06-29T16:18:00.000+01:00

Jase sent an email round on Monday saying that he was going for a spin on Tuesday. My new bike hasnt turned up yet but then Toss said he couldnt make it, but he very kindly lent me his bike.

Good turn out actually with Weester, Jase, Clarkey and Pikey as well as myself. I;ve not ridden in 3 weeks so we took a very easy ride which consisted of going up Winter Hill by the path of least resistance and battering San Marino. Happy days. Lovely evening for it and the views were ace. Not seen so many bikers out in ages!

Had a chat with a lad on a Pig at the top of Marino, turned out to be GavinB offa STW. The descent on a completely unfamiliar bike with air settings way to high for me made for a very interesting plummet and a bit sketchy at some points. Jase had another puncture... seems he cant get down SM without one. At the bottom we waited for a regroup, ear to ear grins all round!

While waiting Donk, Si and Johnnie came down also... they were only half way through their proper Tuesday ride and enquired if we were off to the pub. Sadly thats Thursdays only and we bid them farewell and set off for home.

Quick spin out but just the fookin tonic. Went to bed a happy guy!

also... got a call today!!! The bike is ready!!

I feel like a 5 year old.

A Sad Farewell to a dear old friend.

2011-06-20T16:28:00.000+01:00

After 6 years of faithful unstinting service, I've finally sold my frame. A great buy, back in 2005 when I walked into Life Cycles and saw her dangling from the ceiling... she has given me many many happy memories and taken me on loads of adventures. Ridden twice a week through rain, wind, snow and sun she never once let me down.

An emotional few hours stripping her down ready for her new owner. I hope he will be as happy with her as I was.

Hope the new one gives me as much pleasure.

On a more practical note.. I;'ve not ridden for over 2 weeks now and I'm proper grumpy twat. I fucking hate not riding my bike, keeps me sane and happy. Worse still its the Manchester to Blackpool in 3 weeks. Need to sort my shit out or else I wont finish the bastard.

"I brought the fucking tent, didnt I !!!"

2011-06-13T15:29:00.000+01:00

As was said by myself in the face of mounting evidence about stuff I had neglected to bring on our long anticipated Camping trip.

Thursday dawned a bit cloudy however the forecast was set to pick up around dinner time. The recent weather had kind of put us on a downer for the weekend, however I was confident that it would pick up. Tosser finally admitted the night before what we all knew all along, that we could not fit all the kit, bikes and 4 people in his car so I was driving also.

Loaded up for about 1ish we set off up the M6. By the time we got to Coniston, the skies had cleared and the sun was beating down. Fucking brilliant. Tent pitched and gear all sorted in pretty sharp order, we tapped the barrel and had a couple of cheeky snifters before getting changed and heading out for the night.

Weester wanted to have a bit of a pub crawl, starting in Torver, however this meant that we wouldnt be eating till after at least 4 pints, whilst I was a bit apprehensive we all agreed. The gravel track over to Torver was joined and within about 20 yards Weester fell off. Right over the bars, too busy looking at the scenery. The bell end appeared to have bollocksed his side up, but he insisted we carried on. First pint was in the Sun in Torver, went down a treat and we headed over to the Wilson. Again, another nice local ale but the pricing set the style of the holiday... fucking £3.30 for a pint! Some bloke outside the Wilson got chatting to Chris (henceforth known as CW) about bikes and had a go on his and toss's bikes, obviously enjoying himself.

Feeling a bit light headed, we spun along the road to the Black Bull for a bite to each. Fish and chips were spot on, but were now nearly £11. After that we went over to the Crown and then the night becomes a bit of a blur to be honest. Vaguely remember riding home the long way past the Cleveland landing, but we were all properly arseholled. I think we had a few more beers back at camp before retiring for the evening.

I woke at about 7.30 to baking fucking heat. The sun had risen and was beating down on my section of the tent and it was unbearable. Worse than being in a sauna, so I got up. Everyone else was still out of it so I just got a drink of water and sat down admiring the view, when it came to me that I may have forgotten the plates and cutlery. Sure enough, after a bit of checking I confirmed it. The lads got up and duly insulted me. Fortunatly they all brought their own plates and forks. Me and Toss divvied up breakfast which I had to eat out of the fucking pan with a spoon.

Day was panning out to be a scorcher and we had arranged to meet Donk and Johnnie in Torver. Suncreamed up to fuck we headed over somewhat gingerly, CW in particular feeling a little jaded from the previous nights excesses. We met the lads just before Hummer Lane. Whilst they were kitting up I noticed a split in the sidewall of my rear tyre. Quick bodge with the gaffer tape and things were looking slightly less precarious.

Off we set up the fucking twat of a climb that is Hummer lane. Donk and Johnnie sailing up while us 4 struggled like fuck to keep our breakfasts down and the rake of ale from the previous night. Sun was beating down on us and at the top just before Broughton Forest we were all sweating cobs. Nearly binned it on the fire road of all places whilst not paying attention. The ST plunge was great fun as ever and I noticed a small lizard on the climb back up. Great fun on the ST descent to Stephenson Ground got us ready for the climb up to Long Mire. I stopped halfway up to bury my head in a stream as I was about to fucking melt and the lads caught up and CW spotted a Newt.

At the top I scooted down to get some pics of the lads starting the Down hill to Seathwaite. I love this track, rocky fast technical with bedrock drops and babies heads all the way down. After they all went past I dropped the saddle and went after them. Then fucking disaster, passed Toss and Weest and got my front wheel caught at the bottom of a drop between the bedrock and a large boulder. Over I went. I remember thinking that this was going to proper hurt and the landing was on rocks. I gave myself a couple of minutes laid in the same place to see if I was hurting anywhere real bad and miraculously I felt ok apart from some cuts to my hands. The back brake lever was fucked though. I was pretty shaken up to be honest, it was the biggest crash I've had for a long long time and really should have come off a lot worse (3 days later and the bruises have come out and I am pretty battered. Luckily my upper arm took most of the impact, 3 inches higher and it would have been the collar bone).

Got the bike and thought right, best ride this as fast as I can to get the demons out of my mind. The only problem is riding steep technical loose rock with just a front brake was pretty scarey, but I made it down to Seathwaite. Donk and Johnnie stopped for a puncture but otherwise no more incidents.

Pint of coke in the Newfield Arms was just the fucking ticket and we spun up the road for a group swim in Tarn Beck. This was fucking brilliant, talk about refreshing in the baking heat.

Next came the long road to ruin, or Walna Scar to its mates. Nearly an hour to get up. Most of us pushed to the quarries then Donk, Johnnie and me had a go. Donk stopped 20m short of the summit, Johnnie had a good go and I got about as far as I did last year before nearly expiring.

At the top, we all set off with saddles down and pretty soon I was at the back. Let me tell you, if you want to experience fear, try descending Walna Scar with just a front brake. Fuck me I shit it. Everyone else was having a whale of a time, Toss taking a little spill just before Cover Bridge. The lads stopped to check the jump out, but only CW had a go, very impressive but he tumbled off after a shitty landing. I didnt fancy the wet rocks of spoon hall with just a front, so I went down the road and met the lads back at the tent. Jase had just arrived and was already into his 8th pint. Donk kindly lent me his back brake and Johnnie his back tyre so at least I could carry on the holiday.

BBQ's fired up and we tucked into a festival of meat eating and ale drinking which ended about midnight ish with us all leathered.

Same problem in the morning with the sun on the tent. Me and Jase both up early doors and the heat was horrendous. Still an early rise allowed us to prep breakfast and steel ourselves for the big one around Grizedale. Off we set thorugh Coniston and up to Lawson Park. We took the singletrack through the woods to the fire road and we all made a pretty good stab at getting along it. The view from Parkamoor was stunning as ever and we were soon heading down to the Hippy commune. Here was the 1st time I had to grab my borrowed back brake and the combination of a massivly powerful brake and a rubbish tyre saw me fishtailing straight past Jase who was holding the gate open for me. Quick brutal climb up and we were heading to the delights of Moor Lane. We paused to look at a massive tree route system that had been exposed following a tree getting blown over and then we hurtled down the descent. Man I love this run, Grandad, Dad and Dentist. It claimed Toss's back tube near the end and then just as he changed that and we were getting ready for the off, Jase's was also flat.

Breasty Haw followed. Another sweaty and punishing climb but the run through the tree's more than made up for it. I was not really having a good time with the back of the bike fishtailing at the merest mention of braking, still it was much better than having no back brake. Over Devils Gallop had us all smiling.

The climb up the the fox was pretty hard. Jase managed it Dab free, a great effort while I made it with a single dab on the rocks half way up. The other lads took one look and decided to walk. Weester was getting pretty close to bonking so I gave him some of my jiz. The Fox was customarily beasted for the camera and we headed over to Moor Top to take the last descent of the NFT. Very fast and Flowing, I really do think this bit is very underrated. Jase, it turns out had a bit of an off and got a few scrapes for his trouble.

Arrived at the VC and I soon wish I hadnt bothered. What a fucking rip off. Nearly £5 for coffee and a slive of carrot cake. I hate the fact the the girls who ran the original cafe selling home cooked descent food were fucked off when the FC built the new centre and installed rip off merchants in thier place. The fucking cunts. Our ears were also assaulted here along with our wallets but a gaggle of laughing bitches sat right next to us. Man, the flamethrower was nearly out.

We climbed the NFT back to Mustard Hill, everyone feeling the pace now, Toss and Weester decided to take Lawson 2 and Me, Jase and CW took Lawson Park 1. What a great downhill. It had everything, fast open road, bedrock and steep track with babies heads on straight down to the road. We all arrived grinning manically at the decent. Into Coniston and we stopped at the Crown for a few sherberts. Toss was inspired here and went and enquired about food at the cafe opposite, she knocked up fish and chips for a £5. So that was £6 saved from the robbing cunts in the bull. Back to the tent for showers and get changed we headed back into Coniston for a rake of Ale. The beer in the Yewdale was not up to scratch so we swallowed out priced and spent all night in the Bull, getting pissed on some pretty tidy, if expensive ale.

The next day dawn much cooler and Toss announced that he was going home. That meant that just me and CW were up for riding, but there was no way I could have fitted me and CW and all the kit in the car the next day, so the lads all went home. I on the other hand headed over to Tilberthwaite at a very sedate pace. Lovely ride and I took a look into Cathederal Cavern.. very interesting. Hodge Close, High Oxenfell, Iron Keld and the High Close all passed me by at a slow but steady pace. Bakc over Parkamoor and down the rock fest of Nibthwaite... fucking brilliant, although I will admit to mincing down it on my own and feeling pretty tired. The day was nicely rounded off by cycling the full length of Coniston on the quite singletrack road.

Back to the tent, quickly knocked up tea, lit the fire and finished off the barrel. End of a wonderful 3 days riding. Shame it went so fast.

Two rides in Two nights...check me out.

2011-05-27T12:22:00.000+01:00

Wednesday, Binners invited me over for a blast around Holcombe. BW to Robin Hoods Well then back over to Pilgrims cross. Very boggy after the recent rain and the head wind was still around making it pretty heavy going. The plunge down to the Horseshoe was great and then we did the secret singletrack in the valley which was ace. Back up the BW and we spun along to Buckden woods. This time I took a left turn and found a ladder drop and a gap jump that some locals had made. I was petrified just fookin looking at them. 2 pints in the Rose and Crown ended a cracking night out.

Then Thursday and it was just me and Jase. Everyone else had the good sense to bail given the headwind. Jase beasted me all the way round, we only did burnt edge rocks (finesse won through over brute force, Jase dabbing several times) and up to San Marino but the headwind made it proper hard work. Legs were shattered.

5 pints in the Tap and Toss and Weest joined us. Brilliant run out and the last before Coniston!!!!!

The medicinal effects of beer.

2011-05-20T14:36:00.000+01:00

Got struck down with a throat infection which quickly developed into a chest infection during the weekend. This pissed me off greatly, but not nearly as much as the side effects of the antibiotics. These included gastric reflux and indegestion which made me feel like I was having a 3 day long heart attack. Fuck that for a game of soldiers, they went in the bin and I persevered.

I really shouldn't have ridden Thursday really, however I was desperate to get out and the lads very kindly said they would go at my pace.

We met Reedy at the top of the ginnel and he was meeting up with some of his mates also at the Smithy, but we headed through Walker Fold Woods which was fun. Met Reedy's mates at the gate and they went up the rocks, we took the climb up to Holdens. By the time we reached the road, My chest was proper getting tight, so I said to the lads that I would head up the Hill and straight down San Marino. Reedy and his chums did the kennels and our lot went with me. San Marino was ace as ever, met a couple of lads at the bottom who had done the run twice and were just setting off back up again, Pushing!

Spin along Belmont road to the tap for 5 pints of the finest, 6 for the lads. Had a great laugh!

Tired today though.

Thursday trail poaching and rain dodging

2011-05-13T19:28:00.000+01:00

Me, Weester, Jase and Toss tonight for a quick run followed by many beers. The forecast was pretty rubbish so we decided to do a low level route through the trees incase it did piss it down.

We set off from Tossers house and had gone all of 50 yards up to his top field when Weester, eager to display his "skillz" fell off and a deceptively flat and unimpeeding corner. I was devastated that I missed it, but did hear the thud.

Secret singletrack into the valley and then up the rocky chute which weester ace'd. naturally I'd have done it too but couldnt be arsed, ahem.

Span along the railway and pissed myself off looking at all the fucking work that AE Yates are doing at Birtenshaw and decided to cheer myself up by battering the trail. Swooping down into the Jumbles from Shady Lane I was somewhat dismayed to find that the track has been levelled all the way down. Piss poor show.

Round jumbles and then up past the Pill Box we spotted about 30 kids frolicking in the field at the side. Not entirely sure what was going on, but myself and Jase made some speculations that I;d rather not repeat.

Past Turton Tower and up over the golzzzzzzzzzz course, the ride was panning out to be the regular but in reverse. The weather was good so it was going well. That was until Toss insisted on taking a little short cut to Barocco's. The bell end took us down a nettle and bramble infested track and ripped us all to shreds and stung fuck out of us.

Small plubnge through the forest to Blow Job Alley and only one bummer cruising which was surprising. We spotted a pair of used and soiled manpants hung up at the exit of one of the bumming alleys, to which Toss expressed his horror....

We took the steep plunge over the wall to the valley, Jase bravely attempting the steep techy stuff and making a right good fist of it too.

Bluebells hereabouts were lovely.

Final spin along the valley and into the Tap for beery merriment and ner so much as a hangover the next morning !!

Su-fucking-perb. This is what life is all about!

Last minute dot com

2011-05-11T09:11:00.000+01:00

In from work at 6.30.... grey skies, grab bike.

Hammer up to Winter Hill fastest I have ever done it, hurtled down San Marino.

Got wet and muddy and I miss the dust so much.

Felt great to be out though.

Holcombe Cheek - Dusty greatness.

2011-05-05T15:29:00.000+01:00

Brilliant!

Tuesday night I though, balls, chuck the bike in the car, go to work Wednesday and decide where to ride. In the morning I thought I'd have a bash at Lee Quarry, so sent Graham a quick txt, only to get one back saying dont bother, they were on fire. However, I had arranged to go over to Graham's the following Wednesday so he kindly offered to bring it forward a week and go out for a play round his way. He invited Mart and Tony too. All good.

So left work at normal time, but the M66 was fucking rammed so we arrange to meets at the mill near the end of the Motorway. A genius idea as it meant I didnt have the slog back up hill at the end of the night to Grahams house.

We set off along the Irwell and a quick pop up to Edenfield where we met Mart. Next a gravelly blast down to Irwell Vale and what a nice little place that is, very picturesque. The lads confirmed that it was fucking expensive place to live so I fucked that idea off.

Next was a pretty long climb up to the flanks of Bull Hill, long and steady we soon got plenty of altitude and Mart pointed out the memorial to some bird who got murdered up here.....

Pleasent run along to the Pilgrims Cross, the ground was bone dry and it was ace just spinning along with the views over the valley keeping us occupied.

From Pilgrims, I thought we might be going over to Peel, but no, we dropped down the excellent little track to the Horseshoe, nice and rocky and loose was a good blast. Regroup at the bottom and spun along to the start of the Bombhole where we met Tony, coming up from Walshaw. We were now into totally new stuff for me and it was fucking brilliant. Tight twisting singletrack rolling along the top of Redisher Woods before taking a tight turn and plunging into the woods themselves.

Tony was in his element, battering through, looking for the steepest and tighest lines and leading me, unseen into some pretty hairy stuff. I really suffered in here. SPD's and a saddle that only drops 25mm really fucked me up on some of the proper steep stuff. Gonna really have to consider getting a proper dropper post. Had a comedy moment on a steep turn in following Tony, where a branch went through one of my helmet vents and out of one of the rear vents... I was almost hanged by it!!.

Spin out through the woods, followed buy a climb back up to Peel Tower, here Tony took us down some steep tight, twisty singletrack which was fucking ACE! Loved it. Graham made a cracking effort on the last bit too. Back up towards Holcombe moor and then we turned left into Buckden Woods, locally known as "roots". Fucking obvious why too after about 10 yards. Loads of them all over the place. This down though was brilliant and I was in me element. Light fading, rough roots and a big rock garden near the bottom, we blasted through them all at a rate of knots. Fucking buzzing at the bottom.

Light was starting to sink now so we headed up to the Duckworth Arms at Shuttleworth for a couple of pints of Vindehop rounded off a fucking brilliant night ride. I love new trails!

On the way home, coming through Edgeworth, spotted a fresh moors fire taking hold on Turton Heights. Was an amazing sight in the dark. Took a pic but it didn't really come out. Proper ring of fire.

Beer... its great.

2011-04-29T13:57:00.000+01:00

Only me riding as Toss was protecting his ginger pubes and going on a small road ride and weester was doing his flagging.

As it turned out I was at Deb's for 20 mins or so sorting a few things out so it was too late for the moor, so I tried to catch toss up. Met up at Belmont and then tore back through the bone dry Longworth Clough, nearly getting knocked off by a big Deer. Called at weesters, dragged him out and 3 of us spent the night in the Tap consuming the COTN.

Arseholed. Great night.

Maybe God loves me after all = SKIDDAW WIN!!

2011-04-23T14:36:00.000+01:00

After 2 failed attempts at the Skiddaw Cheeky epic, the second one documented in its full horror here, Good Friday was forecast to be a lovely dry and warm day, and more inmprtantly, the kids were at their mums for the day, I decided that it was time to meet my nemesis.

This all sounded ace, however my riding as been somewhat curtailed of late and the prospect of 30 miles and 7000' of climbing did make me wonder it I would be physically up to the challenge. Only one way to find out.

7am Start and the chug up the M6 was almost without traffic, a good start to the day and I parked up at the bottom of the Latrigg BW at 9.00am kitted up and had a quick chinway with another biker who was waiting for his mates. He was doing the classic Mosedale / Back'o'skidda. When I told him my intended route he gave out a slow whistle and gave me that knowing nod that said he thought I was clearly insane.

Weather really was wonderful, only problem being that the heat had generated a very hazy day and the visability would not be very far at all, Great shame as there would be some stunning views on this ride. Joined the railway at the old station and spun along, great way to warm up the legs.

I was soon at Threlkeld and started the climb up to Skiddaw House. The Tarmac is a bit brutal (not to mention shit boring) but I was soon off road, passing the old Sanitorium and then on up Glenderaterra. Its a nice ride up here, most people prefering to take the more exciting Lonscale Craggs on the other side of the valley. The going is pretty easy, but the climb up at the end was pretty steep. It had also been resurfaced from the river crossing making it less of a challenge other than its steepness.

At the top, it flattened out and as I increased speed I heard the sound of bikes coming up behind, it was my mate from the car and his two mates. They had done Lonscale Crag and clattered down the DH. Had a brief chat as I held a gate open for them and they went on their way up to Skiddaw House. From the gate I had a good view of the first summit of the day... Great Calva.

Scooted along the access road and was looking for a way up when I came accross a very small track just before Dead Beck. This turned out to lead straight to the summit of Great Clava, but was pretty hard going through old heather and bog. Carried the bike most of the way up. Bloody windy at the summit which surprised me, the view over to Skiddaw, a target for later was good.

Here, I started to piece together our movements from the previous attempt and with the benefit of actually being able to see something, it was pretty clear where we went. Turns out we abandoned just before the climb up to the Knot, which was much more of a climb than I thought it would. Infact I was shouldering the bike up this fucker too.

Top of the Knot, the highest point so far and it was blowing a hoolie, I checked the map which way over to Great Sca Fell and then I got to the top of Little Scar Fell and the start of the fabled "Longest unbroken constantly descending legal trail" in the lakes.

It runs from the summit to the gate at Longlands. And what a fucking run!! I did have to pedal a couple of revolutions just to get over a stream crossing, but otherwise, you could get from the top to the bottom freewheeling. As it was I gave it the beans and was flying along fresh grassy singletrack at warp speed. It was just marvellous arriving at the gate completely pumped up.

Road work now to the start of Dash Falls BW. At the bridge over Hall Beck, I ditched the bike and sat by the stream, with my legs in it eating my dinner.

I remembered Donk going on about the virtues of an ice bath to get rid of Lactic acid so I thought I'd give it a go as my thighs were starting to burn a little. Surprisingly it worked a treat. After lunch they felt great allthough my feet were pissed wet through without too much prospect of drying out!

Next up came the climb up Dash Falls to the gate and what would be decision time. I always find this climb a bit boring, even with the great view over to Whitewater Dash and the impressive Dead Crags for close company.

I didnt make it up the last pull to the gate, in fact I didnt even try, knowing what was in store for me I elected to save my legs. At the gate, I thought for a minute about the full on Hero route and decided to give it a go.

The Ascent of Skiddaw here called for an immediate and brutal fist fight with gravity up the steep Birkett Edge and onto Bakestall. The climb was,, in my mind split into three sections, which will call twat 1, twat 2 and finally twat 3.

Twat 1, Birkett Edge was so fucking hard. Bike on back and ascending a monster fucking gradient after 21 miles and 4000' already under my belt very nearly had me saying fuck this for a game of soldiers, but I stuck with it. Stopping every 10 paces or soe for a breather, I judged my altitude against Little Calva across the valley and sadly, it didn't exactly fall beneath me, more like crawled.

I tried to get some pics to illustrate the steepness of the climb but it does not really do justice to the full horror of Twat 1.

Hairpin was the start point.

So Twat 1 over with at the summit of Bakesall, I turned my attention to Twat 2. The top of Blake Hill. This was a cunning bastard, I could ride most of it but then the last bit just reared up slightly too steep and loose to get any grip on, so back on Shank's pony and pushed the bike to the top. Where was revealed Twat 3. The climb up to Skiddaw Man.

Very reminiscent of Helvellyn Little Man I though, and just as hope sapping. The first bit was fairly flat but as soon as the gradient increased my chain snapped. Bollocks. So Twat 3 had me pushing / carrying / crying, but on reaching the summit elated. Thank fuck for that. I was however, utterly fucked at this point. My legs were surprisingly ok, but my upper body, being a weakling was worn out from all the carrying.

Here I was presented with a choice. The almost Mystical technical feast of Ullock Pike, my original planned route, or the Bridleway plunge. I considered the options and even text Donk to get his opinion. Here I was, top of Skiddaw, blowing a fucking gale, I'm delirious, Ullock Pike Edge was rammed with walkers and I was on my own. Discretion won over Valour.

So off I set on the descent, and it was fucking brilliant. Bit cut up above the Zig Zags and the large boulders they used to pitch are showing through, certainly enough to make it technical, but for full on balls out fun, well it was ace and I was pretty pleased with the time (this is me, we are talking about). Top to the final gate at the bottom of the zigzags with 3 gate stops just over 11 minutes. The Brakes were fooking sizzling and all the walkers were pretty much clapping my progress arse over the back throwing meself around the hair pins!

The final run down Latrigg BW was almost walker free and again was blasted down and back to the car. The end of a fucking brilliant day out in the hills!! 27 miles and 6200' of climbing but I dont believe My Tracks, it felt much harder.

View Skiddaw Epic in a larger map

She's here!

2011-04-20T16:32:00.000+01:00

Dust. How I love dust.

Kids back to their mums after she finished work and I was out! Hot sunny dusty trails and it was ace!

Horrocks, Ciggy tunnel, rocky road to burnt edge (cleaned it!) Kennels (super quick) and rode my nemesis dab free, ICR, Gardens, Pike, Kennels and Marino. Met Jase on the Kennels and waited for him at the top so we went down Marino together. Hit 30mph over the rocks... which I was pretty chuffed about.

All in shirt sleeves. Wonderful.

I love her so much.....

Kicking the shit out of it.

2011-04-15T16:58:00.000+01:00

In the immortal words of Edmund Blackadder, the path of my life is fraught with turds from the devils own satanic herd. Or at least it felt like it this week. A combination of burst water tanks, punctures, car crashes and bank account fraud have ensured that my week has been totally fucking shite.

So, I was well ready for a good ride. Not had one in ages and being unable to ride at weekends, the previous weekends glorious weather didnt help my mood. I was on the wagon and didnt have the means to get any cash anyway meant that I wouldnt be pubbing it, Weester also was refraining from the ale after a messy Saturday night. Toss was having some sort of issue, no doubt caused by his rampant ginger pubes. So just me, weest, jase and graham.

Healy nab it was to be! Up Horrocks and Coal pit, but we took the right hand turn and pushed up to Dean Mills so we could do the little stone staircase. Good fun and a bit twitchy too if I'm honest, however I was feeling like the title of this post, so belted down it. Nothing was going to stop me tonight.

Up Coal pit path to the mast and we shot off down the shoulder, pretty dry too and plenty of grip as we carved up the singletrack along the top, before diving down the grass to the gate on Belmont Road. Tore along the rocks and shot off down the ICR, only to meet a bell end in a 4x4 coming up. Made short work of getting around him and then battered the rocks to the car park.

Road spin along to Anglezarke and the lights were switched on. We took the cheeky headland path, fookin brilliant and then through the fields to Watermans Cottage. Quick road spin and up onto the Nab. Some fucker and knackered the info sign so it was away to be repaired. I showed the lads the trail head and Graham said he would follow our lights down... but at the end of the 1st section, he had managed to inexplicably get to the bottom of the forest. He must have missed all the red run. I completed it (brilliant fun, hit it pretty fast) and then waited at the second fire road as we all tried to find Graham. Turned the light of waiting for the lads and Dog Soldiers immediately sprang to mind.

Regrouped for the climb back up, passed a load of teenage lads and girls camping out with a fire going, no doubt it would have been hardcore shaggery later on if the lads got their way!

Reached the gate and while waiting for Graham who's light was playing up, we spotted 2 of the biggest fattest spiders on the gate, brutal looking mofo's.

Down to Kays Farm at warp speed and then over to the Yew Tree. Graham announced that he wanted to get home on the tarmac as he hadn't had any tea and was flagging, so over the damn he took the road home as we ascended Yarrow and headed over to Rivington Village. Weester, caringly asked if Graham would be "all right" on the way home on his own, a suggestion that had me and Jase pissing ourselves. The lad has just finished being a bodyguard in Kabul and previously in Iraqi and Weester was worried that the badlands of Horwich might prove too much for him.

My light just picked out the arse end of a deer over the wall, running parallel with us. Magic!

At the barn, we had the long old climb up to the gardens, and predictably, Jase fucking shot up it, the bastard. I spotted a badger just over the fence and made sure I was well out of his way, hard fuckers badgers. Legs were proper feeling the pace now and me and weester alloted for the path of least resistance home along piss poor and Belmont Road.

Toasted by the time we got in at 11pm. 25miles and shit knows how much ascent we did, but it was a memorable night ride.

Light nights and dangling bollocks

2011-04-08T13:32:00.000+01:00

Me, Toss, Weest and Jase tonight. Lovely evening for a ride. The original idea was to do the pike, ICR, Gardens and back over Winter Hill, but this was soon scuppered by Weester turning up on his pain machine. A fucking singlespeed.

He did make a fair stab at riding it and impressed us all immensely by getting up the steps in one go, but it also fucked him up. So in the interests of getting to the pub without delay, we just headed up Winter Hill, Coal pit, Dean Mills and the drop to Scout.

Was a bit wet really and we would probably have been better off doing San Marino. I minced down some of the rocky stuff but made it to the drop ok, I pushed the bike up a little to try and get a run into it, and then watched Jase bravely turn in and set off. It really is so steep, that the merest over pressure on the brake and the bike is over, and thats just what happened. Poor fucker fell a long way, but emerged with no injuries apart from the entire crotch area being ripped to fucking shreds leaving his bollocks dangling.

Fun blast through the quarries and into the Tap for 5 pints of the finest.

Whole ride can be summed up though dead easy.....

Blessed or cursed ?

2011-04-03T22:48:00.000+01:00

Mothers day. I'll take it in my stride.... yeah ok then, maybe not. Roused the girls at 9am to get them to their mums for 10... then make it home to an empty house. In the space of weeks I lost me mum and the mum to my kids. Felt pretty shit to be honest.

Where do I turn when I feel shit ? My bike and the moors. Helped me through some tough times that combination. After agreeing access to the kids with the Ex, this would also be my last daytime MTB ride for the foreseeable future so I needed to do it.

Saddles up and sets off... heavens open. Battle on in the rain... its only water after all. still raining at blow job alley and still raining and higher pastures. Fuck sake, give me a break. Hangs left at Roddleworth car park.. need some adrenalin to kick the arse out of the endorphins that just aint working today.... feeling good and hitting the rocks at full tilt, spinning out in the big ring... bang. Rear wheel lets go... no worries I packed two tubes... oh hang on theres only one in here. At least the rain has stopped.

Pump up, and arrive at the bridge. Up to Tockholes... cafe is shut for some reason, maybe he has mother duties to attend too....

Talking of which, the golf course and the hills have been bereft of people today, which just made me feel even fucking worse.

Still there were people from here on out. Pure Cocks I should say. The gate at tockholes had the BIG warning sign informing the bone headed cunts that it was lambing season, and that sheep about to lamb were particularly susceptable to threats so please keep dogs on leads. Halfway up the pull, I see a couple of thick bitches with the dogs off. One was a black jack russel type of walking shit machine. I watched as this dog run headlong into a group of sheep with new lambs. The owner managed eventually to get the dog back, but I pissed my sides when 2 ewe's attacked them.. charging in with the heads ready to butt... the pair of thick cocks screaming. I drew level with them about 30 seconds later, and broke my own rule of conversing with utter bell ends and said "what the fuck do you expect letting your stupid fucking little joke of a pet run at them?" the answer ? "Well, wheres the farmer!! these bloody sheep need to be looked after or put in a pen!"

It was at this point that I admonished myself. I mean, what did I expect.... a full and frank exchange of well thought over views ? I told her she was "fucking thick" and peddaled off. Not proud of that but just got me on the wrong day.

Step bank was a nice climb to the top of the moor and my old friend the rain greeted me again. Some wanker motocrosser has been up here... fucking mud everywhere and I'd practically end up following him later. I took the rocky plunge to the tower and for the first time today it put a smile on my face! Scary shit, loose mud and big fucking rocks!

The toil up to the tower and I stopped to look at it without its top! looked like it had been decapitated. Rain was still coming down and my shorts had even let the water through by now.

Blast across the moor and then down to Cadshaw. I wanted to hit the drop to the duck as was feeling like beating myself up, again, adrenalin kicked the fuck out of me at the bottom! Got to the Duck and realised that the back end was a bit "loose", slow flat. No more tubes so pump up and hope. Got as far as Green Arms before I needed to pump again. In the rain again. Eventually realised that I'd have to nurse the back wheel home. So just took the path of least resistance. In the rain.

Get home, wash the bike and watch the clouds miraculously clear and set the scene for a wonderful sunset.

Blessed or Cursed ??

Cursed on the day and that was my last daytime bike ride till Coniston.

On the whole, today, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

Calamity Clarke Rides again....

2011-04-01T16:44:00.000+01:00

Spunking turn out. Me, Toss, Weester, Wors and Clarkey. We decided on Entwistle as an easy ride for Clarkey to get his eye back in. My freshly serviced brake turned up in the morning, so quick fix after tea and we were away.

Was to be a night of new tracks for us all. The first one was a track I knew but never riden into the valley, very nice with some tight off camber hairpins with lots of slippery roots to keep us on our toes. Spin through the mills and then up Longworth to the golf cour zzzzzzz,..................sorry. Drop to the bridge, Delph Dam and the church. You could tell it was nearly getting to spring as there were clouds of fly's chocking us.

Along the quarry edge and up to Torra Manor, I spotted a footpath sign that we took. Clarkey steadfastly refused to ride it, something about us desicrating the shrine of golf zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... sorry, gone again. Anyway it made an interesting change from the road. Up the WW to Green Arms and we hoiked the bikes over the gate, but rather than do the Roller Coaster, we headed straight down through the forest. Lights on here and just as I was flying down a deer jumped right across my path... brilliant! The ST through the forest was great fun.. loads of slippy roots to test your confidence. The track spat us out halfway along Entwistle.

Spin along past the Duck, we took the plunge to the top of Wayoh and then along the bank. At the top of the steep climb, me Wors and Weest waited for Toss and Clarkey before the steps, but there was no sign of them. After a bit of fucking around I got a call from Toss, the Bell ends had taken the old path missing out the hill. Time was getting on, so we headed through Chapeltown and took the new track to the head of the Jumbles by the pill box. Cracking little track, nice and fast and a set of steep steps to end with. Me and Jase spotted a fox running across our path as we skimmed along the side of Jumbles.

Fastest route possible now to the Tap took us past Birtenshaw, through the valley and past Bank Top.

Excellent ride rounded off with 5 and a half pints (!!) of COTN. Wonderful wonderful run out.

Never too old to learn.

2011-03-25T09:52:00.000Z

Thursday night ride. This time with a working bike. Still not got my brake back from Hope (my fault) but Weesters XT is working a treat. Good turn out tonight with Me, Toss, Weester, Wors and Wors's mate, Graham.

Up through Horrocks fold, Ciggy tunnel, Forest and then Burnt edge via the steps. I though we were doing the Kennels, but the pub was calling so Jay and Weest took us toward their new track. Down Coal pit was ACE. Dry fast rutted descent, we were flying down it. At the bottom we headed over to Dean Mills Res, this path has been upgraded since I last came along it last year and is now paved initially and then stoned up right to the Res. Here, Graham took a big old fall dropping off the res wall and must have landed about 20' from where he fell off. Large amount of claret from his leg, but, being the big hard bastard that he is, he merely laughed it off. I suspect I'd have been in A&E in tears had it been me.

Here, rather than drop to Coal Pit, the lads showed us the new track. Fucking WOW is all I have to say on the matter. 8" wide snaking singletrack which went on for ages, always gradually descending and then suddenly the plunge. Rocky, steep, switchbacked fall back onto the road. It was just fucking brilliant and I cant believe I have never known about it. I suspected there was a route up there and walked the dog loads of times but always ended up getting turned back at the fence.

From the road, me and Wors went up to Wilton Qaurries and scared ourselves stupid with some rather technical drops which again was fucking brilliant fun.

5 pints in the tap rounded off the perfect night. Fookin rough head this morning though.

Ahhhh.... thats better..

2011-03-21T22:24:00.000Z

After my last post, I was, frankly inundated with offers of a spare brake. Dave offa STW tee'd me one up as did Jon, however during stripping my forks down and putting new seals in them, Weester announced that he had an XT brake going begging. Turned out it fitted post mount and bingo, I was in business.

When Jon offers the brake, I invited him to the ride on Sunday as well. Jon (badly wired dog) was only from Glossop and knew the area like the back of his hand, plus he was recovering from a chest infection, so would be slowed down to a sufficient level to enjoy a ride with us old loafers.

So we met up at 10am at the Royal... a genius decision which came to fruition at the end of the ride. Myself, Graham, Mart, Matt, Keith, Nick and Jaq and Jon turning up a little later after riding over from Glossop. He arrived on his Ti Ragley which weighed in a three parts of fuck all. This was confirmed by us all knowingly lifting it up and nodding solemnly. I announced how glad I was to see him as it meant I wouldn't have to get the fookin map out, not having ridden here in over 5 years.

Up the track past Mount Famine, I immediately came a cropper, when following Mart who pulled up suddenly, I found I couldn't unclip and fell straight into a fucking Gorse bush. Next 5 minutes spent picking thorns out of myself. This really is a brutal climb to the horrifically unfit (me) and I was soon blowing my bollocks off when we reached the top.

The descent was nice and fast with plenty of bedrock now becoming evident after recent rain. Up along the track to the road and then the start of Rushop. Here the fucking rain arrived, accompanied by its good friend, mist. To coin a cliche it was that fine rain that pissed you through. We were all fookin soaked before we knew what was what. The drag over Rushop was made even more boring by the total lack of a view. When we finally started to drop down, the final bend before the road nearly caught me out, and looking at the tyre marks, it had recently done so to some other riders... turned out at the bottom that it was Matt and Nick!!! first regret of the day was not being there to witness it. Talking of which, Nick, keen to maintain his reputation fell off on a particularly non narly section of track up on Rushop.

At Mam nick, we took the road for a bit then turned right on the excellent track to Hollins Cross. I should imagine that the view was fucking lovely, although I HAD to imagine cause we could see fuck all.

The cross was thronged with walkers and other bikers so we headed down the run to Edale sharpish.. Brilliant bit of trail, love to have another go in the dry. Graham, in his enthusiasm, spilled straight past the sign that said footpath right, BW left and was at the bottom before we could call him. lol. Once again Nick went over the bars... twice in the space of 50 yard... in fairness the first one looked nasty, however I still could not contain my mirth.

Edale was reached and we toiled up the valley to Barber Booth, knowing full well that awaited us. The full horror of the ladder. I was determined to have a go, and, from the bridge got 20 yards. In fairness, the best effort was Jaq, who got about 5 yards further. Climbing gods we were not.

MUCH sweating, swearing and pushing got us to the top and the start of the long lovely descent. Jon told us to take the right hand turn and the BW down to the Reservoir, which was a combination of undulating ST and fast open grassy descents, followed by a short sharp steep drop to the base of the Dam. Time was pressing for me as I needed to get home and cook the kids tea, so rather than attempt Middle Moor, we shot off back to Hayfield and here my plan came to fruition, a log fire and a pint of Seldom Sworn in the Royal. Genius.

Brilliant day out and just the preparation for the shit storm that has descended on me today.

Pass me the Fucking noose.

2011-03-17T20:38:00.000Z

Mountain biking, the thought of mountain biking and the planning of rides keeps me sane at the moment.

Tonight, nice night ride with the lads planned.... pub stop... and then Sunday, leading a few STW'ers on a Peaks epic and the forecast looks spunking.

So, rolls the bike out and the front brake is seized. Proper. seized as in take off and send to hope seized.

2 rides out of the fucking window. Fucking great.

'Degla

2011-03-07T11:12:00.000Z

Shove-it-up-your-arse.

Not been since 2007(!!) so decided to have a blast round Llandegla on Sunday. Kitted up and on the road at 10am and pulled into the car park at just after 11... fuck me where have all these people come from. The old Car park that we parked on previously, was full. They have now put in additional parking up the hill behind the cafe, bigger than the old car park and after I parked in the last space, that was full too. I have never ever seen so many bikers in one place in my life.

Out onto the climb up to the top of the red and the cold wind really was freezing. I hadnt realised it was going to be so cold and my legs were bloody red. Still suffering with the chest so I decided I'd be taking my time all the way around and not ripping it up.

Bikers everywhere. I quite like a social ride and having the crack with riders, but this was ridiculous. Every halt point had approx 10 bikers parked up, and the trailside litter was just a joke.

Up to the start of the fun and I was surprised to find that the tops section of black has been felled. All the trail is now on open moor rather than threading its was between trees. Felt quite odd really. With it being exposed, it was also proper muddy and I was soon covered in fine clay mud. The last bit of black was good fun, but for some reason they have now abandonded the log ride. You cant get onto it and its bypassed by just a bit of ordinary trail.

Trail diversions were in place which meant the bit of Black by the bridge was missed. All in all a very disapointing run back to the car from the end of the last black.

Don't think I'll bother going back.

Thurday Beers!

2011-03-04T10:42:00.000Z

Had the kids last weekend so didn't ride at all. No matter as I had a great time with the girls, however Jaz, being the wonderfully generous and caring soul she is, passed me on her rampaging chest infection. This particular malady started to rip my lungs to bits on the Monday and was accompanied by a hacking cough. I was concious of the golden rule of not exercising if the probkem is below the neck, but really really needed to get out. So, the lads very kindly offered a slow paced easy night time run followed by a few beers. Magic.

7pm and Me, Toss, Jase and Weest headed out up past Horrocks fold and up to Scout Road. I wasnt feeling too bad really, so we decided to try and earn the beer by heading over Winter Hill. It was bloody cold up on the moor, and ascending the access road, I was starting to flag a bit.

We all covered our lights going past the base station and tried to stay on the road, was proper bloody dark.

Top and San Marino, Jase and Weest headed off as I was going to take it very gingerly as my chest was proper aching now. Toss, aparently had a bit of a moment coming down, but as he was at the back we all missed it :(.

Slow spin for me along Belmont road and arrived at the Tap for 5 pints of the COTN. Felt surprisingly pissed too, a thick head in the morning confirming my suspicions.

Cracking night out though.

Well Fack me, a night ride!

2011-02-25T19:41:00.000Z

So glad I spunked all that money on a trout light, seeing as though I haven't had a night ride sine the beginning of December!!

Biking at the moment is proper hard work. Our weekly jockster outings and regular Sunday rides have vanished and we hardly seem to ride together anymore, well certainly not me with the lads due to complicated life shit.

So it was with great pleasure that I got my shit together and made it out with Jase and Weest for a Thursday night ride. And very fookin nice it was too. Horrocks fold, Woods, Holdens, steps, kennels, ICR, Gardens (where jase fucking bummed us both) hole in't wall and finally San Marino. Fast hard blast that was just what the doctor ordered.

Highlights of the ride were being sideways for the full length of the kennels, Jase setting a blistering pace down the ICR and me realising that my front QR was loose halfway down San Marino, just before the jumps !

Me and Weester bailed on the beers and I'm skint and he's gay. Jase went on to the tap to meet toss and spray his testosterone all over the pub.

Was fookin roasting too... Surely dust is just around the corner now?

Glee club.

2011-02-20T22:16:00.002Z

After mums funeral I was ready to get out and about so singed up for the STW Peaks pootle, however last minute parential comitments put paid to that, but Binners kindly offer to take me out for a ride with Hora. Saturday dawned to rain and predictably hora bailed, but Binners was still up for a run. Been meaning to get out with him in years so was good to finally meet up.

Binners went through the mangle last year so was on hand to provide some further cheery words of support and as you can imagine the ride was a proper fun filled outing. Joking of course, it was good to have a chat about the various shit that life throws at us and how we all manage to deal with it.

Pretty straigtforward ride. Up to the pike, hole in't wall, San marino, called for a beer at the Bull but Al hadnt opened up the slacker, quarry and then Belmont road and down the ICR. Was wonderful to get out. Binners did well making it round intact as his back brake refused point blank to work at the top of San Marino, not good when it was slippery mud all the way down.

Nice 12 mile run out and great to finally get a ride in with Adam.

The Shit

2011-02-11T20:31:00.000Z

After January's promising start to the year, February is not going well. In fact, I have not ridden a bike at all and it is probably going to be difficult to get out at all this month.

On a more personal note, I can say without fear of contradiction that this has been the worst few days of my life. Still, when your at the bottom, there is only one way to go and thats up!

Just in time for the dust........

January

2011-02-01T13:36:00.002Z

Pretty chuffed with myself here.

In January I managed to cycle 274miles and ascend 23,395 ft.

Not bad for a fat bastard. Fucking get in.

unplanned big rides.

2011-01-31T22:31:00.000Z

Legs were a bit tired on Saturday but the forecast for Sunday looked good. The gayboys had all mentioned that they were bumming each other so it was to be a solo.

Sunday dawned cool and fresh, the ground still frozen, so I set off round about 11.30 with nowhere in mind really. Up horrocks fold saw the legs ease up and the cycling got easier, so I hatched a plan to pop over to Healy Nab. Been meaning to shoot over and have a look at the trails for a while now and just not managed to get my shit together. Forest, Holdens, two lads and then flew down the Kennels, was proper slippery too. Didn't bother with the Pike, I'll bag that on the way back, battered the ICR, I was, literally awesome on it. Along the road and over Alance bridge, I thought I would take the headland to Watermans Cottage but the place was rammed with octogenarians, so I elected to take the back road. The singletrack bit was packed also, full of indignant offended fat fuckers who looked at me as though I had just bummed their misses and salted their garden for having the temerity to ride a bike on the same bit of footpath that they were sweating the fat fucking carcasses along. Cunts.

Past Waterman's and up through the quarry onto the Nab. Found the sign and had a good chinwag with a couple of rangers out picking up litter.

Again, more signs of that fact that we were near Rivington. Overburdened by its share of fat twattish sweating boils of humanity that wobble around this wonderful land and all they do is drop fucking litter. Cunts.

So, the trail. Very good. Would love to ride in the dry, but in the space they had available, they have made a pretty good fist of it. Perversely, I preferred the climb back up than the descents... I didn't ride the black though as we did that on a previous night ride, but the red was good fun.

At the trail head, I chucked it down the BW to Kelly farm and then to the Yew Tree. The Dam crossing was hilarious passing a warring det of drivers and horse riders who had got themselves into a state of gridlock on the double parked dam... funny as fuck, the thick twats.

More wanker dodging along yarrow and then along the shore to the lower barn. Really fancied a brew but hadn't brought a lock and didn't want to leave my bike unattended in such company. Up the road to the upper barn and had a quick chinwag with some bikers... then started the climb up to the pike. Slalom past all the filth walking back down with their fat kids in tow, reached the bottom of the ICR and started the quick climb up. Head down and fuck everyone else, I was soon at the Bungalow. Further push and the Pike was bagged. Here, I was exposed to a hardcore estate dwelling sub human species. 2 lads and 2 "girls", waste deep in empty tins of Stella, throwing random profanities at all the people toiling up the stairs to the pike. I really do despair.

Blasted it down to the gate, up the Kennels and the up to the Hill. Soon as I joined the road, I could see on the horizon some sort of blue thing. All the way up the climb I was wondering what the fuck it was, half on the road half off it. I only clocked it about 30 yards away, a fucking thunderbox!! on its side. I could only guess that it had fallen of the collection wagon on the way back down and the lazy twat couldn't be arsed to put it back on the wagon.

Down San Marino. It was ace. Frozen and fast with a bit of sheet ice after the stream crossing which nearly had me tumbling through the undergrowth.

At the bottom, I still felt pretty good and didn't want to go home so I headed over to Blow Job Alley. Passing San Marino and hey fucking ho... I see Samuri's Dildo.

Somewhat dirtier than last week, I can only assume that it was freshly pulled when Jon saw it. It was proper wobbly and had the consistency of a jelly as I punted it down the road. I was half tempted to wash it and give it Deb as a leaving present.

Road past BJA and up the hill to the GayBye. 3 distinct and const5ructed entrances the bummers have made into the woods now. All with fluorescent markers on the trees to aid short sighted bummers in finding the right bit of forrest for a bit of bum action. Green Arms and then WW to Lucas' house. Tip, higher ridings and home ended a fookin brill day out.

32 miles and 4.5k climbing. I'm pretty chuffed with that in 3.5 hours, but my legs were toasted last night.

The only thing that ruined it was seeing the scum over Rivi again. I keep telling myself to not bother going over there on a weekend, and with good reason. Scum sucking wankers.

Weekly summary

2011-01-29T00:29:00.001Z

Oh.. a shiney new feature.

Its really a tool to make me keep up with the good intentions.

3 Commutes... one in the rain!
I feel great, even thought the legs fell full of lactic.

No MTB though :(

Couple more weeks of commuting and I reckon I'll be like jay... commute and ride !!

Had a good crack with the lads last night though.. but felt like cheating as didn't really earn earn it.

Lee and Cragg Quarries... the jocksters ride again.

2011-01-25T08:55:00.000Z

Toss and Weester were talking about the quarries on their mid week ride last week, as it looked like a good turn out was on the cards. Clarkey, Toss, Weest, Jase and myself all up for a play in the quarries and a chance to take a look at the newly completed link.

Been what seemed like ages since we had all been out together, when in fact it was out Christmas ride, 4 weeks ago, so I was really looking forward to the crack.

Transport arrangements were thrown into confusion when the walking book of excuses that is Clarkey bailed, however we attempted to put all the bikes on Tosser's rack. Not ideal and was probably asking too much from it, so I popped up the road and got my car. Hastily loaded up and headed over to Futures.

Pulled into the car park and it was packed. Not seen so many bikers round here since race day, obviously word is now spreading about the trails up here, no doubt with the opening of the link people see it as a full day rather than a quick blast.

Climbed into Lee and found that the ground was pretty bad. The recent frosts had blown the sandstone and gritstone which had then formed a mud that had the consistency of Evo Stik. Murder to pedal through. I was particularly impressed with the Advantage tyres here, they never missed a beat all afternoon and they were getting pushed into the corners pretty hard.

Just one run down the middle Red and then climb up to the ramp, we took the left and headed along the gentle rise up the new track. Was quite hard going as the gradient was pretty constant and as we climbed we noticed the rocks that had been strategically placed for jumps on the way back down.

Start of Cragg and we turn the corner to be greeted by abuse! Cant bloody go anywhere without locals heckling you. Gray, Mart, Tony and a few of their mates were laid down having the crack after completing a lap. I enquired after Grey's beak following his beak / rock interface at Nan Beild and he showed me the pretty impressive range of sideways movement his conk now has. Had a quick shofty at one of the lads new Butcher... very nice it was too, pimped with XTR brakes which just felt brilliant to the touch. I want!

Bid the lads farewell and we set of on the loop of Cragg. I had warned the guys that it was a lot more pedally that Lee, but with the mud it was proper hard work. Weest and Toss both bottled the 1st drop, taking the homosexual right turn. We were soon at the turn around point. I have to say that the return leg flows much better than the out leg, so much so that Jay binned it on a fairly innocuous bend, good job he had his knee pads on as it was pretty abrasive the rock he landed on. Still, being a big strapping fucker, he did more damage to the rock than it did to him.

Back as the start, we were all pretty drained so we headed back over to the link. Now I dont know why, but coming up I though we would fly back down this, but found that we were pedalling all the way to maintain a bit of speed, maybe its because the surface is still so loose, hopefully it will speed up when it beds down proper. Managed to nail all bar 1 drop, despite a pretty heavy front wheel first nose dive off one of them which quite frankly shit me up.

Back into Lee and we decided not to bother with the Black, so we hit the red. The run form the Ramp back to the gate is just brilliant. Along the rim of the quarry, down the ginnel, cattle grid then over the jumps.

Paused at the cattle grid and gave some lads that we had caught up pretty rapidly plently of time to go on ahead and as we were waiting a bloke turned up on a new Orange ST4. Asked him how he found it and he mentioned that it wasnt a "Quarry bike" whatever one of those it. I though I recognised him and it clicked half way down, it was Mark from Singletrack.

The jumps were flown over and then we hit the forrest, just a fucking superb bit of trail here I love it. We emerged covered in clay for the spit down the access road and then the last little bit of trail they built into the car park.

Great day out, but it felt a lot harder that 11 miles and 1600' of climbing. Superb to be out as a group again.

1st Week Commuting

2011-01-21T19:33:00.000Z

Well, I stuck with it. Rode all days except Wednesday. Thighs are pretty toasted to be honest, but otherwise feel great.

This morning saw the sun starting to come up as I was passing the Golf Course on the Loopline, was lovely, mist and frost slowly rising from the fields, superb way to start the day.

120miles in 4 days. Gonna do my best to keep this up, but its hard work arranging all the site visits into one day so I can get round them all in the car, but it will be worth it.

I dont ever want to be as unfit as I was after Christmas!

Commuting!

2011-01-18T09:58:00.001Z

Right. Fuck the belly that Christmas gave me. I'm doing something about it.

The Forecast for this week was looking good, so I set the alarm for "fuck me thats early" packed me kit up and told the wife she could have my car for the week.

I;d never commuted in the Dark before and my previous HID light wasnt really suited to it. But armed with Trouties monster that has a flash mode I was all set.

6.45 saw me setting off down Blackburn road, through the town centre, Manny Road, Farnworth, Walkden, Worsley and then picked up Loopline. Sustrans have spent a lot of money here since I last commuted (Over a year and a half ago) and the gates are now gone and most of the mud has been replaced my a well graded aggregate, well till about half way then its about a mile of mud, the at the old station its Resin Bound Aggregate. For those of you not in the industry, this is fookin expensive form of surfacing, and they have used it all the way down to Monton Green. Looks like they have spent a bit on Landscaping too, but was hard to notice in the Dark.

Monton onto the Bridgewater and they have even used the RBA on the canal towpath. Brilliant!

Over the swinging bridge and through Trafford Park and I arrive at work buzzing!

The ride home was a bit tougher I have to admit to flagging a bit going up Blackburn road. My Tracks surprisingly had the return leg at 13.8 miles with 1200' of ascent!! Fuck me, I know coming home is psychologically up hill, but I didnt realise that it was THAT much uphill.

Back in this morning and I think I'll struggle going home, legs are a bit tired. Gonna drive on Wednesday as I have a load of meetings on site, but Thursday back on it!

Oh, and Trouties light is fucking AWESOME for commuting. On medium flash cars literally flee in horror. Its like parting the red sea.

Goodbye winter belly!

Borrowdale Bash

2011-01-10T21:49:00.001Z

As BETD have STILL not delivered my mach hanger, Toss very kindly lent me his bike for a head clearing ride. I decided to go to the lake because its just fucking ace, but plumped on the Borrowdale Bash to ride.

The day dawned cold and wet, and on the way up the M6 it didnt show any signs of getting better. I wasnt really in a rush so took the scenic route up the A591 straight through the lakes. As I went through Ambleside, I noticed that the side roads had a pretty slick coating of forzen fresh snow. Hmm this could cause a few problems.

Parked up in Keswick and set off. Toss's bike felt a lot different and the saddle was rubbing a lot, still it was good to be out in the forzen conditions.

I was considering taking the cheeky footpath from Castlerigg to Ashness, but with it being a Sunday, decided against it. Turned out I needent have worried. Hardly saw a soul all ride, and, wait for it, NO other bikers at all!! unheard off, but just the tonic for me.

The road up past Ashness was murder, black ice with a covering of frozen snow.

Stopped a little further up the road for Surprise view.

Up into the hanging Valley of Watendlath and then started the climb up Bracken Platt and it was practically impossible to get any traction, even walking was hard work. The views on the other hand were spectacular, making me wish that I had not bothered with the bike and got the Ice Axe and Crampons out and gone scrambing up Great End.

Still Birketts Leap was coming up and I dropped Toss's fancy new Joplin and headed down. Unfortunatly it was all covered with a shimmering ice crust which made everything but arse shuffling impossible.

Hit the road at Rosthwaite I took a quick diversion over the bridge to take a look at Longthwaite YHA. Use to stay here loads of times in younger days and it was good to see the place hasn't changed at all. Had some great times here.

Along the road towards Seatoller and was overtaken by a gritter which chucked loads of salt all over me :(

Lunch stop at the bottom of the pass and then tried to beat my previous effort getting up to the 1st layby on Honister. I failed, miserably, rear wheel spinning out on the ice half way up. Again, walking was harder as I kept slipping on the ice.

At the turn around point, I headed along the singletrack to Castle Cragg. Nice run this facing back to Keswick, again the rocks were very slippy but great fun. Still hadnt seen a soul and here I spotted a few walkers in the distance. Must be some kind of record for Borrowdale, the place is usually packed.

Castle Cragg descent was brilliant fun, scary as hell with the ice but I got down it and rode it all.

Spin along to Grange and then the superb BW along the side of Cat Bells, like a race track, but unlike in summer I didnt have to worry about hitting any ramblers.

Was tempted by a pint at Swinside, but decided to head home and a gentle spin through Keswick town centre. Last time I was here was with the family when we rode Whinlatter :(

Nice ride and brilliant to finally get out. Big thanks for Toss lending me the bike. Hopefully I get the hanger bloody soon, they said they posted it on the 5th :(

HNY..........

2011-01-08T00:30:00.001Z

Need a ride.

2011 is only 8 days old but as far as I'm concerned it can fuck right off.

Still, life goes on. It has to.

Christmas ride

2010-12-29T22:54:00.000Z

So after failing miserably to organise a ride for Christmas before Christmas, we managed to get our shit together and sort on out for the 28th. Me, Weest, toss and Jase in attendance and boy did we fuck up with the date. The 27th heralded the start of the thaw and the frozen, crisp and probably rideable conditions gave way to hideous slush. Riding off road was just simply impossible.

So off we set at 2pm with the plan of heading over to the lower barn, bite to eat and then over to the hallowed Hostelry. We pretty soon realised that we could not ride of road so headed up Scout Road. My lack of riding for the last 4 weeks soon saw me holding up the guys and they had a long wait at the bottom of Scout Road. Jase's hip flask soon rejuvenated me though.

Up over the tops and we caught sight of a herd of deer just to the side of Walker Fold, one of them had full on antlers... they scarpered pretty much as soon as we saw them, Toss tried to get a pic but they were too far away.

Heavy rain set in by the time we reached the Smithy and we took the high road from the Crofters, up past the mast road. Here Toss suggested a descent down Wilderswood. It was shit as ever even more so in the slush. Much wailing from me as I found that screaming like a girl on every bit of ice really did help tremendously.

Along the back road from Rivi and Blackrod took us to the get where Jase and Weest attempted to clear a solid ice patch and failed, epically.

Quick spin and the down to the bottom Barn for refreshments. Broke with tradition and got a steak Canadian with onion, brilliant. Few mugs of tea and we were ready for the climb over the moor to Belmont and the Ale.

Jase set off at a roaring fucking pace and he was soon well out of sight, me Toss and Weester blew our arses off on the climb to find him waiting for us at the top.

The descent to Belmont has a lot more snow on it than on the Horwich side so me and Toss took it easy while the other two blatted down with the scent of Flat Cap in their nostrils.

We took the playing field path with was a pretty shit idea really as we could barely keep the bikes upright.

IN the Bull, Clarkey joined us as we settle down for the crack and a shit load of Ale. Jase took his shoes off to get changed and left a trail of wet foot prints across the pub!

Jase was adamant that he wasn't going to ride home shite faced and announced that he was going after 5. We persuaded him to stay for 6 and then we would head home and finish off the remains of Toss's Christmas barrel. So full of ale, we bid Al farewell and went out. I set off down the steps and promptly fell off, one of them silly crashes that at the time doesn't hurt, but I have since found a few spectacular bruises on myself.

Setting off down the hill and I soon realised that I had also broken the bike. Rear Mech hanger snapped. Weester, the fooking diamond, towed me home. Scary experience that was though, holding onto his backpack with my arm at full stretch still had our wheels overlapping, so no room for error and after 6 pints that was hard enough.

Back to Jase's for a few flaggons of ale and some cracking pie and pies from Jase and Tracey.

Carcking night out!

Hope

2010-12-22T00:12:00.000Z

As of 11.38 tonight.. she wil be coming back to me....

My bike hate me at the moment with good reason. I have locked her in a cold dark shitty room and not even looked at her for over 2 weeks....

If she hurt me when I next ride her, I'll understand.

OBAD - The return

2010-12-10T23:59:00.000Z

This year has been pretty good for riding... but the last few weeks have seen a return of OBAD and its a fucking shitter.

I hate not riding my bike. I hate the fact that the quiet December I had engineered at work has turned into the workload from hell. I hate the fact the the snow has now been replaced by mild pissy drizzle, so synonymous with the English winter, I hate the fact the I haven't been out to the dales or the peak or the lakes and I hate the fact the we aint had a Chrimbo ride this year.

In fact, I just hate everything at the moment. Got a right fucking cob on and its Christmas in a whisker over 2 weeks.

Fucked off ? yep.

Blizzard Riding!

2010-12-02T15:15:00.000Z

Just me and Toss on Wednesday night this time as we were at Kelsey's school on the Thursday. Really could have done with a beer or two but Toss fucked me off.

So 7.30 kick off and the snow was still down from Monday evening and it was bitterly cold and very slippy. The evening did not start well as I realised that I had forgotten my helmet at Blackburn Road and had to come back home. Up along Belmont Road and Horrocks fold the snow started coming down, aided by a pretty strong wind too. The fun started on climbing up Coal Pit Road. Compacted snow with fresh and still falling powder proved very slippy and we both had some close shaves, but managed to make it to the gate unscathed.

Snow was still billowing down as we set off.

I soon found out that my Advantage tyre was just balling up in the powder and progress up the rutted path was almost impossible, pedal five yards then fall off. Toss however was going great guns and was waiting form me for ages at the top.

The Snow relented by the time we reached the mast road and we bumped into another jockster. Turns out it was a guy of STW! Up past the mast and along to the Shoulder. Toss was at the bottom before i even got to the gulley. Slipping and sliding all over the shop and up on the edge the wind chill was murderous.

The spin along Belmont Road to Sheep Houses was slippy but fun and the views all around now were ace. The road section to Belmont was taken with care and followed by a steady spin home.

Great fun!

Peaceful, spooky and Cold

2010-11-28T23:00:00.000Z

That about summed up Sunday. Toss has broken himself wrestling a garage, Jase couldnt be arsed and the cryptic weester was apparently making hay while the sun shone. So that just left me. And with it being just me the motivation slipped a little, especially after Thursday nights efforts.

So, hardcore mountain biker that I am, I went and walked the fucking dog and ran the kids around. Deb, out the previous night, didnt get up till 1.30pm, further adding to the feeling of lethargy. I made a nice chicken dinner though, full trip, roasted chicken, roast spuds, veg and mash, on me own. Fucking get in!

The day eventually passed to night time and I felt a pang of guilt for not riding. So, after digesting my monster tea, I got kitted up and headed out at about 8pm. It was by this time seriously cold and no body about. The roads were well quiet, probably because it was Sunday night and everywhere was frozen solid.

Up to Horrocks fold, Walker Fold, and then the ciggy tunnel, off road past Smithills wood to Holdens farm. Everywhere was frozen and I really was feeling like the last man alive, no sound of traffic as the roads were all empty and not a soul in sight as I hit the mast road. Climbed up to the top and had a Tawny Owl for company. It joined me at Two Lads and then flew in the beam all the way up to the mast station. Brilliant!

San Marino and the wind chill was biting, got a fair bit of ice on the track now also so was a bit sketchy going down. ON Belmont Road, the temp really did drop and with the increased speed going home on tarmac I was really feeling the cold through the Thermastats.

Still got home in one piece. All in all a great solo night run out.

Thursday Beers!

2010-11-26T15:17:00.000Z

Well up for this ride! Had a great day on Sunday and we were going to have beers too!

So why the hell did my body not want to pedal a bike. The guys powered away from me as I blew my bollocks off all the way up to San Marino on a freezing night. The ground was wonderfully hard following the sub zero temperatures and Coal Pit rode really well with lots of grip. But I was fucked. Utterly incapable of turning the cranks. The guys had to wait ages for me at the top, but San Marino was brilliant. Frozen solid, Toss punctured at the top leaving me and Jase with a long wait at the bottom, Jase kindly running back up to see if all was ok and almost beat Toss down on foot!

Settled into the warm welcoming busom of the Bull for 5 pints of COTN followed by a more sensible ride home.

I couldnt keep up going home either.

Billy no mates rides the lakes and offends some Romanians.

2010-11-23T16:50:00.001Z

After last weeks ride, it dawned on me that I dont ride enough in the Lakes. Its an hour away from where I live and I only go there about 4 times a year. I know bikers who would give their right arm to have such riding practically on the doorstep, and I have not been doing the place enough justice.

So, fuck it. I'll go again. None of my crew could make the admittedly short notice ride, so it was to be a solo. No problem and in truth I was quite looking forward to a bit of me time. Frantic work schedule over the last few weeks has really left me feeling a bit depleted and a big ride in the Lakes with me myself and I just to worry about was just the tonic.

Parked up at Clappersgate at an outrageous time of 10.15 and kitted up. Weather was lovely, the last of the golden coloured leaves were falling and winter was almost tacking a grip. Around under Loughrigg and up past the old golf course I followed Gav;s route from January;s STW ride and took the brilliant slippery downhill back to Clappersgate. Along the road to Skelwith Bridge and then the new Bridleway over to Elterwater. Made a much better alternative to the road and was pretty quite.

The path has had a bit of a mauling off the river higher up and some signs were up stating that is would be closed soon for repairs. Arrived at Elterwater and the Britannia was closed, so no temptation for me. I elected to take the more straightforward road over to Little Langdale and forgot how rough a climb it is. I was soon reminded, puffing and blowing like a bastard buy the time I got to the top. The view up Wrynos was looking good.

Crossed over Little Langdale ford and took the turn over to Hodge Close and then the Bridleway to High Oxen Fell. At the top of the path I heard the revving of twin's and waited at the gate for the Crossers to pass, all let on and thanked me for sorting the gate out.

Been a while since I rode this BW and it is cutting up nicely with some pretty interesting bed rock drop offs, all taken at speed and I was even trying to practice the cornering tips that I had got of STW.

Passed HIgh Oxen Fell and then crossed the road towards Iron Keld. I wasn't planning on taking the disappointing descent, instead I was headed for Parkamoor. At the side of Tarn Hows I came up to my nemesis. The long sweeping climb a left turn, steep loose scree and then a right at the top. In 4 attempts I have never made it to the top without either loosing traction or loosing a lung. This time I was determined to do it and, miracle, I did. Well chuffed.

The Spin down to Knipe Fold was fast and loose but the tarmac climb up to High Cross was shit. I stopped and took a picture of the tree trunk that toss walked into 5 years ago when we did the Tour of Coniston.

Into Grizedale now and I soon found myself going against the flow of shit loads of Trail Centre terriers... the North Face Trail used the same bit of fire road to join up the ST sections and I got a lot of bemused looks from bikers. Evidently, its not common knowledge that there are wonderful natural tracks in Grizedale other that the trail centre. I'll try and keep it that way too.

Soon on the track heading over to Parkamoor and I left all other bikers behind, had the place to myself. Stopped for the obligatory Parkamoor shot and noticed that the Old Hall was totally empty. Very different from the last time I was up here with the lads on our camping trip.

Now the fun started after all the fire road work. The next few miles hold some of my favourite tracks in the country and I wasn't disappointed. Across Bethecar Moor to the gate and I flew into the 1st section of Moor Lane. Loose big rocks and bedrock all rattling my teeth out, blasted across the second fire road and into Tosser's Nemesis. Paused to pay homage at the stump of doom and then hurtled down the scree slope into the natural bermed corner at the bottom, I fucking railed it, if I do say so myself, felt brilliant fireing round and coming out with so much speed then over the drop to slam on the the final fire road crossing. Then down Moor Lane proper, the santisation of the trail they undertook a few years ago is now no more and is returning to bedrock and babies heads... Brilliant.

Spat out at Satterthwaite buzzing and arms pumped to fuck! It still isnt over... the Brutal climb up Breasty Haw and then the superb trail down into Low Scar wood was ace. Harsh and slippery climb up through Slack Wood and then the final down through Devils Gallop and it was over all too soon. I love the last few miles and could ride them forever.

Road spin over to Near Sawrey and the pub really did look very welcoming. However, I was covered in shite due to my waste-of-fucking-time rear mud guard and probably wouldnt have been allowed in anyway.

The Climb up to Claife was MUCH harder than I remembered, almost expired at the top, but the Tarns of Moss Eccles and Wise Ean provided a welcome distraction.

Here I had a choice of routes to drop off Claife. The classic DH into Colthouse I did not long ago, but I remembered coming here with Pikey and Weester, must have been 11 years ago and we took the path down to Belle Grange. Now I remembered this as a pretty technical bit of singletrack which opened out into a paved steep fast plummet, so I though I'd have a bit of that. Well, its been fucking bulldozed. The upper section is 10' wide and intermittently stoned up and then it just puts you onto the paved path which was murderously slippery with the dead leaves. A case of just hold the back brake, dont dare touch the front and hope you make it down. Fucking rubbish. I felt like I'd been robbed. All that climbing onto Claife and that bollocks was my reward. You can shove Belle Grange up your arse from now on. I'll take Colthouse next time.

The spin along the lake was nice and relaxing, but the weather was starting to close in so I scarpered back sharpish past Wray Castle and back to the car.

Got to the car and was starting to pack up, but before I could get changed a fookin minibus full of Romanians or some such pulled up by the side of me. It then disgorged a load of fat old ladies who proceeded to moan about something or other, stood by the side of the river while the driver took photo's of them. I couldnt wait any longer to get changed so I just dropped my wet shorts, quick dry off and jumped into my clean skiddies, but I reckon he old dears got a pretty good view of the old Turkey's neck as there was a bit of a commotion from inside the van. Still, couldnt be helped, I was freezin.

All in all a fookin great run out. I'm going to do my level best to get up to the Lakes as much as I can over winter. Hardly any mud around. Not sure on the distance as My Tracks fucked up and recorded my doing 214miles and my route finishing somewhere just east of Whitby. Piece of shit.

Lakeland Weather vs Lakeland Riding - Love it.

2010-11-18T11:32:00.000Z

Sunday the 14th rolled around and the week previous, I almost completely forgot that we were supposed to be having a STW Ride. To be honest, with work being so busy and not having ridden properly for 3 weeks, biking was not at the forefront of my mind. Quick email to Gav on the Thursday confirmed that it was still on and that we would be meeting at Wheelbase.

Preparations were, as usual, rubbish. Donk txt me on the Saturday seeing if I could provide a lift which was no problem as I was going up on my own. In a rather regretful decision, I got pissed on the Saturday night and did not sleep particularly well.

So, picked Donk up and we headed up to Stavely. I was surprised that he packed his Rocky Mountain rather than the Heckler as there was a rumour that Nan Beild would be thrown in and at very least the Garburn would be visited. He seemed un-perturbed. Arrived late and found most of the lads and ladies already there and ready for the off. Had a look at Grahams new bike, a spunky Heckler with Fox 36's. VERY nice it was too. Tony also had a new bike, trading in the Yeti for a pimpedtofuck Blur LT. The new Kashima coating on the fox legs really does look very sexy.

Gav got us underway and we headed vaguely towards the bottom of Garburn. The trails we took were unfamiliar to me until we hit HIgh Borans and I could get my bearings again. It was nice to ride some new stuff. It started with a tarmac climb which quickly reduced me to tears and had a few gasping at the top. The paths over to Dubs were very wet and the lanes flooded, but the views were spectacular.

We were soon heading up the climb to Garburn. My breakfast very nearly made an apperance on the climb which I made a total has off. Jacqui, Deejay and Gav all were powering up pretty well, but no one came close to clearing it.

At the top, we were all braced for the DH into Kentmere and Gav told us that we were going to head up onto High Street. Cheek Indeed. I have ridden this ridge once many years ago but in the opposite direction and it was ace, the final descent of Yoke being a fast and loose affiar.

The climb up started and it was pretty brutal to be honest. Most of us were pushing from the word go, Deejay and Graham came past me riding though and I think Gav made a proper stab at it too.

Lunch Stop halfway up and then back to the gridstone. From the Summit we dropped down to the col below Ill Bell, but Gav lead us round the cowards route, again pushing more that riding. The track round Froswick was very precipitous but was good fun.

We reached the top of Scots Rake just in time for the Lakes weather to play its trump card. Que murderous headwind and rapidly descending cloudbase. Never ceases to amaze me how quick the conditions can change up on high. Just before the cloud base blotted us all out though we got a cracking view of Ill Bell and Froswick behind. Deejay got a great picture...

The final assault on Race Course hill was obliterated by mist and the ground was covered with snow. Not generally a problem, however the weather had not been cold enough to freeze the bogs, so it was pretty treacherous with bikes sinking in the mud all over the place.

We soon summited and headed off towards Mardale Ill Bell and a descent which Gav promised to be pretty technical. I fell off twice on the run down to it and therefore took one look at the rock staircase and promptly decided that is was beyond my level. Gav flew down it and the only other to make a good stab of it I saw was Flanny. It was very similar to the rock steps that they have put in on Dollywagon. I have decided that I'll come back in summer here and see if I can have a go at it. I'll also take Jase with me, the twat!

Top of Nan Bield was its usual windy self and I decided to get cracking on the descent. So first off and I was soon overtaken by Gav who blasted down and Jamie, who, hilariously got to the bottom of the switchbacks and got hit with cramp. For some reason I had an issue with turning right. I couldnt do it. I flew down the hill and round left handers, but when it came to right corners I had to dab. Need to sort that out I reckons.

Everyone got down ok with the exception of Graham, who, keen to continue the curse of Nan Bield made a pretty messy OTB resulting in a Claret encrusted beak.

Spin back to the road and Gav suggested the BW over to Stavely head. We only got halfway up it when we had to turn back, beaten by the fading light.

Back to the car and I was proper on empty. Legs were cramping (karma for laffing at Jamie earlier) and really really tired. So tired in fact I declined a beer and just fucked off home sharpish.

Slept like a log that night.

Great day out, but surprisingly only 25miles with 4.2k ascent.

View Gavgas's Ride in a larger map

Thursday pub!

2010-11-12T19:00:00.000Z

A wild wild night. The wind was doing its best to immitate a hurricane so we decided to head up the valley and call in at the Belmont Bull. Trouties light was suitable jaw dropping, however the power drain for my tired old battery was too much unfortuanlty.

The track up the valley was just so ridiculously muddy we were all coated in the stuff by the time we arrived.

The bastards broke the golden rule of 5 pint limit on a school night too. Fookin 6 pints !!

The ride home was "interesting". Jase sped off at top speed and was probably home and asleep before I made it to the top of San Marino. Weester and Toss were dicking around all the way down Belmont Road and headed off down the race track, I followed but at a pretty circumspect pace. At the bottom, Weester failed to negotiate a turn and hit a wall head on. He seemed ok so we carried on where he proceeded to hit a kerb at an oblique angle and binned it again. The pisspot.

Net result......(amongst others)

Ouch!

Great night in the pub though! Loved it.

Let there be light!

2010-11-10T20:39:00.000Z

Went over to See Troutie last night. What a top bloke!

I met Chris on a STW ride in Swaledale a few months back and was drooling over his creations then. So after about 2 years of deliberation I finally took the lunge and got one of his Liberators.

His "light hatchery" as he loving calls it, is his garage. Kitted out with lathe and mini CRC type machine. There are light of ever description scattered all over the place, all borne out of Chris' mad idea's. He said that most of what he makes, even the really daft powerful stuff gets sold, indeed just that day he had shipped 2 7ups to Namibia and a prototype head torch to Finnland for a dog sled racer.

His enthusiasm for his hobby is infectious and its really clear he take massive pride in what he produces. Which leads me nicely to what he does produce. Here's the liberator.....

3 modes. The lowest is easily brighter than my old HID, the highest is just jaw droppingly bright. Couple of strobe modes but that soon had me fitting on the floor.

Testing it tomorrow on a night ride.

As an aside... look at this monster he has been playing around with....

11, yes 11 of the most ludricously powerful LED's currently available. Darths Vaders Death Star's Lazer wasnt as powerful as this mofo.

November. I fecking Hate it.

2010-11-07T21:18:00.000Z

Remember November last year ? Lakeland floods, biblical rain, pissy shitty rain with mist. Well this one is shaping up to be the same.

2 weeks since I last rode a bike, I reckon I;l; have forgotten how to do it soon.

Still, popping over to see Troutie this week to pick up a Liberator. Cant wait to get out on't moor with this baby!

Bastard.

2010-11-02T21:05:00.000Z

Been looking forward to Snowdon with the lads for weeks.

So when I twist my ankle on Friday night, and tweek an old injury, I was suitably pissed off. Cant ride and its still painful. Hope I'm not of the bike for too long.

Moor Big Miles! The Four Towers and a Pilgrims Cross.

2010-10-25T19:53:00.000+01:00

Perusing the weather forecast for the weekend on Friday and I note that Sunday looks very nice indeed. Right, what to do at the last minute then ? I enjoyed the big ride last Sunday so how about the Four Towers again. Quick email to the usual suspects and, shock of shocks... Toss joined me. Excellent!

8am start and man it was cold. Heavy frost on the ground but a perfect cloudless blue sky promised much for the day. Me and Toss never really ride this early in the day and it was refreshing watching the day come alive whilst we scooted along the moors to The mast road. Down the Hole in't wall and even the runners were in a good mood, cheerily greeting us. At Comedy Corner, we noticed that there were a few jocksters already ascending the pike so even with our early start we still werent the first up. Indeed, by the time we got to the top is was fookin rammed with bikers, well 8 or so. Quick chat with them and we headed down to the old piss Stones. Coming round the corner from the pike path and right on the edge of the path as you sweep out was a rotting rabbit, I managed to miss it by millimeters and Toss had the same problem eugh.. Past more bikers heading towards the ICR but we took the right and along Belmont Road. Fast scoot along the bumpy surface and I soon realised that I had a very wet arse. My mudguard had spun round, a fact that Toss didnt see fit to point out, instead he just merely pissed his sides as my soaking riggot. I hate a wet arse, especially at the start of a big gritty ride. No doubt my ring would be chaffed to shreds by the end of it.

The Dam was still closed so we had to take the road (ergh) to the Cafe at Tockholes. Horror of fucking horror, turned the corner and the place was locked up. After a quick read of the opening times it turned out is opens at 10.30 so we only had 15 mins to wait. Bacon buttie, tea and carrot cake was the fuel for the day and it hit the fookin spot.

After the Cafe it was straight up Stepbank Clough and onto the moor. Lots of people here around and we passed comment on the popularity of the honey pots. Here and Rivi were rammed, but soon as you got just a mile or so away the whole place was empty. Bagged Darwen tower in good time and headed back over the moor. After the White House we crossed the quagmire, it was pretty bad, loads of deep standing water. Halfway along we came accross the strangest sight of the day. Slap bang in the middle on the moor, not tracks, and in a bog were to barrels (empty) of JW Lee's ale. WTF?

Toss tried to sample it but it was stale... nothing worse than stale ale.

Down to Cadshaw and along the chute to the Duck. Our new night ride path was thronged with Octogenarians, so we took the road and started the long long climb up past Crowthorne. We paused at the school to have a shufty at the works going on there and was passed by a racing whippet on a 29'er who fookin sailed up the tarmac faster that we would come down it. Awesome.

The final climb was over pretty quick and we were soon skirting past the body disposal plant and it fucking STANK! oh man, I never ever want to small that place ever again, and it only served to reinforce my long held belief that sinister acts are commited in that fucking place. The images that spring to mind as to what it must be like in there just dont bear thinking about.

Horseshoe first leg was ace, with Toss nearly clearing the steps, but at the other side we decided to head up to Pilgrims Cross and then arrive at Peel Tower from the rear. Was proper hard work even more boggy that Darwen but the views were ace. The trek over to Peel was harder work than I expected but we soon got there to bag number 3. Toss was in real trouble now with his back but he was putting a brave face on matters.

Down the lovely rocky steep drop to the horseshoe and we were heading home. Bumped into Mart here and stopped for a bit of a catch up. Didnt realise it was that long since I had ridden with him, but I had missed the last couple of STW rides at Hebden and Kirby Stephen. Said our goodbyes and spun out to the top of Crowthorn, the body factory smelling even worse this was around.

Path of least resistance as Toss was about ready to snap in half, we soon reached number 4, Turton after clearing the walkers over Wayoh Dam. Lucas Hill and the Quarry saw us home, 38 miles later and a brilliant day in the Saddle.

Big day in the Dales

2010-10-17T23:09:00.000+01:00

After the washout of a couple of weeks ago, I still had my eye set on the Buckden / Horton loop. 36 miles of wonderful Dales lanes so I check the forecast for Sunday and all was well.

Woke to a nice cloudless sky and crisp frost. Out of the house for 8am and the drive over was ace, mist slowly clearing the valleys and white over fields basking in the new sun. Got to Horton and kitted up, was riding for 9.15!

Not a soul about as I took the road over to High Birkwith. It was however, bloody freezing and I stomped on the pedals to try and get some heat up. Off road climb to Old Ing where I picked up the pennine way. The track was typcial Dales terrain, smooth slippy limestone but the views as the road started to climb were sensational. Stopped at Ling Bridge to have a shufty around and noticed the stone plaque, 1762 the thing was built.

As I was climbing up to Cam Road, I bumped into 4 kids on a DoE course doing the 3 peaks. They had got lost so I put them back on the right track. As I climbed higher Ribblehead came into view.

Soon Got to Cam High Road and started the long slog up to Dodd Fell past Common Allotments. Over the road and skirted Wether Hill, the long straight Roman Road down to Bainbridge was deserted. I was beginning to wonder where everyone was.

Instead of following Julbag's advise and blasting straight down, I took the BW on the right to head to a small summit without a name, odd. There followed a cracking little descent to Countersett, combination of steep grass and limestone.

From Countersett, quick spin along the road to the lovely positioned Marsett. Very quiet little hamlett and real Dales postcard stuff. From Marsett I took the unmarked track to Stalling Busk which was just like a dry river bed, littered with rough round babies heads and crossed by 3 fords, the last of which I totally misjudged the depth and ended up with wet feet. The Climb up to Stalling Busk was a real tech fest and I couldnt help but think it would have made a cracking descent.

From here started the long long climb up to Stake Moss. This really did seem to go on forever, up up and more up. and into a headwind that had picked up. I was pretty glad to get to the top and was rewarded by a wonderfully rough rocky and fast descent to the road at Buckden Causeway. The fun wasnt over either as I took the BW into Buckden, a classic little run, finishing right in the centre of Buckden.

Stopped for my lunch here and got chatting to a big group of teenage girls on a DoE course. Sadly they didnt need a navigator.

The run up the valley to Beckrmonds was all tarmac and gave my legs a bit of time to recover. I was keeping lookout for a spot up the valley where, 28 years ago, Me and the Old boy Camped by the river while we were walking the Dales Way. All I could remember was it was by the foot bridge and next to the river. Anyway I found it and just how I remembered.

On the final leg now and after Green Field Farm the tarmac turned into forest road and then Cart track over the moor towards Horton. Gathering clouds looked like bringing a bit of rain, so I got a bit of a wiggle on and hit the DH into Horton, wonderful track to finish a perfect day.

Thursday Beers!

2010-10-15T20:42:00.001+01:00

So Thursday again and a good turn out with Me, Toss, Jase and Weest. Toss was a late inclusion as his daughter had a careers evening but he managed to get away in time.

Met up at Weesters and decided to have a short blast as the Lads were having beers at Jase's. Down Blackburn Road, and up past the golf course (zzzzzzzzzzz) then down to Longworth, Weest and Jase were both having problems with thier lights, Weester's bastid was having wiring issues and Jase's Troutie was playing up too. At the path along Delph weesters gave up the ghost, but fortunatly Toss has a spare battery which let weest set it up as a Helmet light, a feature that he was pretty chuffed with. Usual route from the church up to Green Arms, here we plunged down to the dogger park a Entwistle, but not before a car pulled up at the top of the entrance and some bottom feeding twat stuck his thick inbred head out of the back window and suggested that we all "fucked our mums". Charming, Luckily for them Jase saw the funny side and didnt chase after them.

Rather than take the cheeky path to Wayoh, i suggested having a bash at a path I have had my eye on for a while but could never poach it during the day as it was always rammed. So we went past the Duck and the dropped off left and along what turned out to be a fooin cracking little descent into the valley and then along to Hob Lane. Brilliant bit of trail!!

More cheekyness on the east side of wayoh to the dam where we crossed and headed past Chapeltown Church and decended to the Jumbles head. Had a bit of a moment on the paving stones when i collided with a tree trunk. Fucking hurt actually, them trees are angry bastards and dont bend!

Weester got a puncture here but as Toss was giving me some sow poured homebrew me and him shot off to start pouring it. We took the Railway and valley path to get home sharpish and it was ace.

Brilliant ride out. Lovely night and the ground was plenty grippy and the new path was ace!

Jase got his Brazier out and a roaring fire was soon underway. Toss's homebrew turned out to be much stronger than I thought. Left jase's at about 11 steaming.

Cracking ride.

Man or a Mouse ?

2010-10-04T21:19:00.004+01:00

My weekend biking has suffered of late. It has played second fiddle to a couple of monumental Saturday piss sessions the last couple of weeks, to the extent that I missed the STW Hebdon ride and also last Sunday. Still, managed to get out during the week, but still not really stretched the legs. So Saturday dawned lovely and I hatched a very last minute plan to do a Dales Epic. So last minute that I had to shoot over to my Dad;s on Saturday night to get the right map.

I planned on doing This route. 36 miles should sort me out. So Gear packed, food made, lucozade bought I went to bed. Alarm went off the next morning and I could hear the rain drumming against the window. Got up, went downstairs, had breakfast, poked head out of the window and promptly fucked off back to bed!

Got up at 12.30 after lounging in the sack with the wife (Kids were sleeping out) and it was still raining! Hard too. I eventually decided to get out anyway and set off at 2.30. Didnt really have a ride in mind so headed over to Rivi in the pouring rain. As usual, once your actually out in it, it isnt so bad and I started to enjoy myself. Not many other people out either. Down the Kennels and up onto the Pike. Not a soul up there and my legs were feeling ok, so balls to it, I'll head over to Darwen and bag the second tower. Piss Poor was out-fackin-rageous! Never seen so much water coming down it. By the time I got to the gate I was pissed through. Al's waterproof shoes completely overwhelmed by the water. The problem here is that as they are "waterproof" when water gets in, it cant get back out. My feet were effectively submerged for the rest of the ride. Good stuff.

Looking back was just as bad....

Down to Belmont and as the Dam was still shut I took the road to Tockholes. Up Stepbank and the rive running off the moor was a fookin torrent. Across the moor and over to the Tower. I had the whole place to myself. Probably a combination of the bad weather and late afternoon meant that I was the only complete fucking loon daft enough to be up here.

Was getting a bit tired now as the soggy conditions made it real hard work to pedal. From the tower I had a total mental breakdown and decided to take the Singletrack over to the Whitehouse and then thought that I;d have a bash at the lovely singletrack that we found earlier in the year. BIG mistake. The ST over to the White House was just a river, punctuated by deep bog. I found out just how deep it was when, after the forty third time of falling off, my leg was swallowed right up to the bollocks.

More fun was in store after the White House as I hit the "Sublime dusty Singletrack ribbon" I think I called it earlier in the year. The contrast couldn't really have been more stark. My previous sufferings paled into insignificance here. The path was just a fucking dark shimmering morass of filth that had a striking resemblance to a cows giant turd. Wading (and I do use that word in its correct sense) through this shit had me questioning just why the fuck I was up there on that moor, on my own, stinking and carrying my bike. Adversity. That was it. Facing up to it and carrying on regardless. Yes, that was the reason.

5 Minutes later and on the moor proper, spuds deep in shite and I decided that it was just plain insanity and I should just accept that this route was probably not one of my best choices after the deluge. Even the cows and sheep looked clean in comparison to me. I feared that when I did, hopefully, make it off the moor and onto the A666, that in my current condition I was likely to be picked up for breaches of the Vagrancy Act.

Several lifetimes later, I did indeed make it off the moor. Here, I had originally planned to take the off road route past the Duck and then home. Well, fuck that for a game of soldiers. I followed Green Arms home pronto. WW, Quarry and Higher Ridings flashed past and before long I was kissing the path at home.

25 miles was all it worked out at. Felt like 50.

Darwen moor is good fun really, taking the proper routes. But that bit of Singletrack to White House wont be seeing me again, not unless we have a 3 year drought. If in any way you feel the urge to pop up to the Moor and have a bash at this route, then I would respectfully request that you read this blog again, more fucking carefully. That or take a canoe.

Midweek Mud

2010-09-30T11:36:00.000+01:00

We were taking Jaz round her prospective new school on Thursday night so had to ride on Wednesday this week. I thought it may be a solo but Toss spotted the forecast and decided that Wednesday would be better so he joined me.

As it turned out it solidly pissed it down all Wednesday, the rain finally relenting around 6pm just in time for our 6.30 start. Blast down the valley I had in mind attempting Darwen Moor, so asked if Toss fancied the Golf Course or Hospital Road. We took the road as the ground was soaking. Up past the Last Drop and it was already going dark, but I held off with the lights till we got to the top of Witton Weavers. The Roller Coaster through the forest was well trecherous as the mud in the dips was so deep it grabbed your front wheel soon as you went near it, but it was great fun.

I was really struggling up to this point and after the short sharp climb to the Entwistle path, I was on the verge of bonking. Fookin light head and dizzy as fuck. Had a sit down and a bit of Tossers drink and I was ok, but the legs were still empty.

Past Cadshaw and we went up the Bastard. Its still a bastard, even in the dark. Up onto the moor proper and we stopped to switch off the lights. Total Darkness. We could have been the only people alive. The muddy descent to Lower Pasture has now convinced me that I really must get my act together and get some new tyres. The front is shit and the back it bald, I mean proper bald. I was utterly all over the place.

WW was fast, wet muddy and thankfully free of bummers for a change. We went through the forest and over to Cox Green for the finish through the quarry and Higher Ridings.

Totally caked in filth by the time we got back, but buzzing. 15 miles felt like a LOT longer.

Steady Eddies

2010-09-24T12:48:00.000+01:00

Me, Toss, Weest and Jase out last night, Clarkey didnt charge his lights but I strongly suspected alterior motives for not making it.

It had pissed down all day so was looking like we would be getting a dowsing, however thankfully the rain held off all night. Toss was a bit under the weather so we decided on a low level ride.

Down the steps to the valley and up past the golf course and down to the bridge, already needing lights this early in the evening. Not good when mine is knackered. Not much light coming from the old HID now and the battery is only giving me about an hour. Still this was more that Weester achieved, he had forgotten to charge his light and it Conked out in Entwistle Forest. Fast blast back along the shore was a nightmare with the cobwebs, the front man getting covered in them so we took it in turns.

Through the car park and along to Wayoh, I bottled the stairs once again, with just Jase riding them. Through the muddy valley and home for a shower. First night ride this year where we have had to hose the bikes down after the ride... sign of things to come.

Calamity Clark Returns

2010-09-10T09:31:00.000+01:00

Full house! Well, everyone except Pikey. Me, Jase, Clarkster, Toss and Weester all met up at the early time of 6.30 tonight. Weather was promising too although the ground was a bit wet after some heavy rain this week. As Me, Toss and Weest were not bothering with beer after (I'm having a well deserved rest from it) we decided to push the boat out and have a decent ride. So off we headed up Horrocks Fold, Coal Pit and the mast. Everyone was going well up Coal pit at a good pace we were soon at the top. Met a couple of senior Jocksters coming down, the first of many meetings. Not ridden the shoulder for ages so we headed up to the end of the mast road, where toss radivised his bike in readiness for the rad. The Singletrack was remarkably dry for once, however the rocks in the gully were proper slippy. I decided to have a bash at the chute and soon found the bottom of it has eroded into an even deeper trench. Not sure as to grip and well aware of the fact that I was wearing Al's shorts, I deployed the tripod and minced down in massively unconvincing style. The Grassy traverse to the bridge also looked a bit slippy but was ok after the 1st stream. Everyone made it down ok with huge grins. It really is a cracking little descent.

Along Belmont Road to the Pigeon tower and we turned down the ICR. At the top however were 2 jockey's on big DH bikes, one of which was upside down. Turned out he needed a bit more air in the tyre but didnt have a pump. Toss kindly lent them his and they were soon on their way. We let them go down 1st and then followed, however we were rather surprised that they took the path on the left rather than blatting over the rocks. All down in one piece this week, but my arms were well and truly pumped.

Fast climb back up through the gardens and along to the hole in't wall. Proper dark now so we all had lights on. The climb was ok and over pretty quick. At the top, Clarkey and Toss wanted to bail and miss San Marino, but we soon encouraged them on.

Gets to the top of San Marino and there is a fookin heard of lights ascending. I think there were about 20 riders coming up. A club run but I never asked which club they were. One of the lads asked if any of us were on STW, but I didnt recognise his user name.

Weest, Clarky and Toss all set off while there were still lads coming up, but me and Jase waited, about 5 mins actually before the run was clear. Off we set with Jase at the front. He set of like a fookin rocket and one the 2nd drop my front wheel washed out and I was off the track, didnt fall off but was a proper sphincter twitching moment as we were fairly tanking it. By the time I had recovered back onto the path, he was fookin miles ahead. I set off after him to try and catch up, but he was flying. Over the spaniel and the stream, I hit the rocky section at full tilt and bang, a big fook off rock was chucked up buy the front wheel and hit me shin, just below the knee, absolutely knackered, and just as I'm slowing down, bang, another one closer to the ankle this time. Stopped me dead in my tracks. I took a look but it wasnt bleeding so I went down to regroup with the lads at the bottom. Checked again and this time a big egg had appeared on the shin. I am deffo going to have to get me some knee pads, as the first one was high enough up to have been caught by the pad.

Spin home along Belmont Road was nice and leisurly, Jase and Clarkey went to the tap but me, toss and weest were good boys and called it a night.

I love that route for a night ride. 3 of the best descents in the area in one ride.

Good to see Clarkey out as well, almost a year since his double fall on San Marino.

High Street - world class mincing.

2010-09-07T08:56:00.000+01:00

After taking the girls to Whinlatter last Monday, I checked the forecast and as it looked good I suggested to Deb and Kelsey that we could go to Gisburn and do the blue. They both agreed so that was Sunday sorted. That was until I got a text from Nick announcing that they were going to do High Street on Sunday and did I fancy it. What a fucking Dilemma, but still, Deb and Kelsey were far more important than riding in the lakes with a set of hairy smelly blokes, and Jacqui.

However, on Saturday afternoon, Deb announced that Kelsey was having a sleep over that night, so I suggested that of course she probably wouldn't want to come to Gisburn after a late night and further ventured that Deb perhaps wouldn't enjoy it as much without her. Bingo! Pass booked, lakes here I come.

Picked Johnnie up at 8am and flew up the M6 and over Kirkstone in glorious sunshine. We parked up at Hartsop Bridge but no sign of the others. Hmmm something deffo wrong here as I had seen Graham's van infront of us so knew I was in the wrong place. We headed into Hartsop and found the car park at the end of the road which I never even knew existed. Nick had come up the day before in the camper and was taking orders for tea or coffee, however my request for bacon with brown was turned down.

We were last to arrive, as usual. Deejay, Jacqui, Nick and Graham already there. A leisurely kit up as we discussed the fine weather and visibility and also the howling fucking wind that was rattling us even in the valley. Bloody chilly it was too, and knowing the route, it would be murder up on the plateau. Talking of knowing the route, the night before I had a think as to when I last did this depressed myself straight away by realising it was 18 years ago, fook that made me feel old.

Plenty of walkers and what looked like fell runners in the car park setting off at the same time as us. Straight from the car it was up, a brutally steep climb which I managed a whole 100 yards of before stopping and trying to regain conciousness. As usual Deejay serenely wafted his way up the rocky track seemingly without a care in the world, closely followed by Jacqui. Very impressive from the pair of them, the rest of us pushed. I knew it was a long old day and didnt want to burn myself out in the 1st mile (thats my excuse and I'm bloody well sticking to it). We soon reached the Dam at Hayeswater, where while soaking up the views, we noticed a group of walkers, about 4 blokes and a woman, wander off to the far shore. Next thing we know, they are all getting their kit off and jumping in! What levels of depravity have reached the Lake District! The solitary girl of the group also threw off her kit to reveal the biggest muff I have seen in a long time and promptly jumped in with the lads.

The climb up to the Knot could not be avoided any longer and we shouldered the bikes and started the gruelling climb up.

Its never much fun doing this, but it is a quick way to gain height and the views gave us all a good excuse to stop frequently to soak them up. We soon summitted at the Knot and then had a quick discussion about bagging Thornithwaite Beacon. It wasnt that far away however the climb up Race Course hill was quite long, but the weather was so stunning it would have been travesty to miss them out.

Steady climb up was followed by a massive headwind slamming into us for the descent to the saddle just before Thornithwaite. This descent had loads of little drops on it, but on the 1st one, the wind nearly took my wheels from under me and proper shit me up. The bedrock hereabout comes vertically out of the ground and would have made a good mess of skin should anyone go down. So a cautions run down and finally up onto the tower.

At the top I dropped my bike for a chat with a couple of friendly walkers and noticed that everyone had stopped in the Saddle, I suspected a puncture, but Deejay arrived to say that Johnnie's mech had exploded. We descended back down to find him and Nick trying to bodge it into a single speed. Something which I reckoned would be hard work with a single pivot bike.

Back up over Race Course hill and we stopped at the Straits of Riggindale for Lunch. Fortunately it was out of the wind and the views were ace.

We set off again and had the intention of heading over to bag Kidsty Pike, but the wind was just brutal and Johnnie was struggling with his gears so we elected to just take the ridge all the way down. I minced nearly every descent on here, total lack of confidence on the muddy stuff, I just had visions of being pitched over the bars as soon as my front wheel hit anything remotely muddy. Last down every descent in full on uber mince mode. The rest of the riders all were in good form, flying over the trail with ease.

We stopped for a regroup at the summit of Loadpot Hill and decided to head down over Arthurs Pike rather than take the Bridleway direct to the Cockpit. It was on this descent that Johns mech finally gave up the ghost and he took the chain off. After some discussion, he headed off to Pooley Bridge and wait for me to come and pick him up.

We took the excellent track along Lock Bank, this really is a brilliant descent, nice and gradual with a stunning backdrop.

Jacqui picked up her 2nd puncture on this run and I mentioned that there are few better places to change a tyre while the rest of us soaked up the view.

Down to St. Peters Church, where whilst me and Deejay discussed which route to take Graham and Jacqui took the piss out of an group of old folk who were setting up their full on outdoor banquet. Picnic table with table cloth, champagne, crystal glasses and enough food to feed them all 4 times over. The aerosol cream lead to suggestions of a bukkake like mess in the howling wind!

The choice here was take the techy wonderful singletrack around the lake or the Bastard Brutal climb up out of Boredale and then descend to Hartsop. As it was a nice day and there were lots of walkers around, we elected to go for Boredale and the Lakeside path would just have been a stop start affair with all the walkers.

There was no getting around it or dressing it up. The Climb was a complete bastard.

Again, Deejay sailed up, seeminly untroubled by such trivial problems as gravity and again Jacqui and Nick also did well. This just left Me and Graham weezing our way up. It was at this point that we hatched a plan. As we had both been on the piss the night before, we decided that next time we come out with Deejay, we will take him out the night before and fill him full of Bank Top and and bottle of red and see how he copes. Purely as a scientific experiment of course.

The upper section of Boredale House was once again a carry over very loose and big rocks and I speculated that it would make a killer descent for a descent rider (not me obviously).

Rest stop at the top and then the wonderfully steep and loose bridleway descent back to Hartsop for Coffee and Cake.

Brilliant day out!

Big Bollocks and The TAP!

2010-09-06T14:46:00.000+01:00

Full house for the Thursday ride with me toss, Jase and Weest. The yearly Indian summer has arrived and the week had been dry promising nice and dusty trails. We left Weesters and headed up Horrocks Fold and onto Walker Fold. On the way up we spotted a gloriously endowed Ram who proudly displayed his pendulous Bollocks for all too see. Mind you, if I had such a set then I'd be proudly displaying them to all and sundry and changing my name to Buster.

Non of us seemed to be able to make a decision as to where to head so we aimlessly wandered onto the Ciggy tunnel and then headed up to the shitty hill and the steps. Me and Jase tried and failed on the first step, a pathetic effort really but Toss and Weest made short work of the banking. Up onto Two Lads and then we flew down the Kennel Run. The chute is proving a bit tasty at the moment with a massive trench in its base following the recent rain, however we all managed to get down it.

Next up was the Ice Cream Run. Not been down here in 3 or so months and it very nearly killed me. I think that with the dry weather at the start of the year everything turned to dust and the recent rain must have washed the dust away and hey presto... big fuck off rocks once again. Came off the side of the tarmac ramp and back wheel bounced of a big chunk and almost overtook my front. Almost totally sideways. The rest of the run was brilliant loose technical fun with Weester and Toss taking the girly option down the side.

Up through the Gardens and at the top we had a bit of a debate as to which was home was the quickest. In the end, as the pub was calling, we took the road past the Smithy and then down the golf course and through Smithills. I have a mental block with this route and seem to get lost for fun on it, but on this occasion, so did Jase who lead us up a big fuck off hill only to have to sail straight back down it again.

We Duly arrived at the Tap and parked up the bikes. Instantly we fell victim to the local nutter, who came over to bore us rigid with dull stories and depsite the many hints that we were dropping, he wouldnt fuck off. Retreated inside as it was getting a bit cold and proceeded to have the crack.

Nice night for it, and hope the weather holds up.

Camping Weekend and Starting them young!

2010-09-02T14:19:00.001+01:00

Finally managed to get my work completed for Thursday night which set me up for our camping trip over the Bank Holiday Weekend.

We had all booked on Lanefoot Camp Site. Nice location and looked very promising. When Toss had initially mentioned it, I hatched a plan, knowing that Whinlatter was just behind the site, perhaps we could slip in some cheeky riding.

So Friday rolls round, me, Jaz and her friend jumped in the car and we headed up to Keswick following Pikey and Toss and arrived at the site for about 1pm. We were shown to a small field off the main two camping fields. I got the impression that this was not really part of the site and had only been opened up for the Bank Holiday as they were fully booked. Whilst it was dry during set up, the level of the field showed that it would soon become wet if it did rain.

All set up by late afternoon, I went into Keswick with Toss to get some chips and got raped at the main Square Chippy... fookin 9.90 for 3 bags of chips and chips and gravy twice, the robbing bastards. Got back and we set up the gazebo and had a very pleasant night chatting and drinking whilst the kids got the marshmellows going on the fire.

Overnight the heavens opened. It was pissing it down from about 3am and didnt really stop all Saturday. Lost my keys in the morning which eventually turned out to be locked in my Boot. Weester was a total fookin diamond, and went to pick the spare key up from my Boss in Manchester, as they weren't coming up till Saturday afternoon. Deb set off from Bolton to drop the dog off at Blackpool and Pick up Kelsey who had been staying in Fleetwood with a friend. They arrived about 3pm by which time the field was turning into a mud fest. The rain relented enough for us to get a BBQ going on Saturday night, but it was very grim really, huddling under the Gazebo trying to keep dry. On the plus side we all slept well, only woken by a load Cock crowing at dawn, well, it woke me but Deb and the kids slept right through.

Sunday was spent at the Grassmere and Lakeland show. Free parking which was a bonus, but it was stupidly expensive to get in. The main events were the Fell Race, Mons wrestling and a dog show. Pikey refused to join in the wrestling despite us thinking that he would have been a natural. All the kids attractions and stalls inside were a complete rip off too, which put a bit of a dampener on it. Walked into the Village and showed the kids Wordsworths Grave, to which Jaz asked "is he under there then?".

Riverside walk back to the car and just in time to see a demonstration by the MRT and RAF Sea
King rescue Helo. Very impressive stuff. They are big bastards when you see them up close. We took the scenic way back along Thirlmere and over the Dam. We parked up in Keswick and while I was trying to get a pay ticket, some dutch geezer came over with his old ticket. What a top bloke, but then he asked me for some money, the cheeky twat!

Nice meal in the Oddfellows together with a nice couple of pints of Jennings Cooker Hoop, which on an empty stomach went down exceptionally well.

Sunday night round the camp fire was great, took Deb and Kelsey out on Janet's Diva to get them use to the gears, and had a cheeky spin over to Braithwaite myself and back through the woods, spotted a big fuck off bird of prey, dunno if it was one of the Ospreys. sat on a fence post staring at me, it lazily took off when I got to within 15' of it. Proper handsome fella.

Next day, we decided to pack the tent away before going up to Whinlatter as the girls would probably be pretty tired after. We got up there around 11am and my fears about not getting a hire bike were unfounded as we looked likely to be the first people hiring one all day.

A bit fookin expensive I have to say. £17.50 for 3 hours was taking the piss I thought really. The bikes were Cube XC something or other which in fairness didn't look too bad, Hydraulic Avids which I got the girls to practice with as they were far more powerful that anything they had used before. My main gripe with them was that the forks were coil. I know it probably comes down to price, but if I'm paying that much for a hire bike I expect to be able to adjust the spring rate on the forks to suit the riders weight (ie use a fucking air fork!). As it was with Jasmine and her mate, they may as well have been fully rigid, and Kelsey wasn't much better off. So we headed up to the start of the Blue and posed for the obligatory pic.

I sent the girls out front and I stayed at the back keeping an eye out for Jade Lee who was shitting it. She did ok really, but Jaz had roared off. Kelsey and Deb were going great but Jaz was out of sight almost straight away. This leads me on to a bit of a dilemma I have with this girl. Kelsey is dead sensible and takes her time to learn stuff properly and is fairly cautious. A good thing when riding a blue trail for the 1st time. Jazjust scares the bejesus out of me.

The Blue is a great bit of trail and they have thrown in some pretty big bermed corners, a couple of stone drop offs, some table tops and small jumps. I should imagine that ridden at speed it would be fucking awesome. Jaz rode all of it at one speed... fucking balls out. I really only saw her about 5 times on the trail as by the time me and Jade Lee caught her up, she was chomping at the bit to get going again. Everything about her just looked right. Her body position on the bike when tackling stuff was perfect, she was looking well ahead, not over the front wheel, she was carving the bike into berms, off the brakes. She even threw herself over the rock drop off's. Deb and Kels traded places behind her and really enjoyed it, but Jaz was just a total natural.

Back at the visitor centre, we dropped off the rip off bikes and were on our way. Altogether a top weekend.

Brownbacks Race, Riding Bikes and being pissed off.

2010-08-22T11:32:00.003+01:00

Marshalled, had a laff, won nowt, rode with the lads had fun. Might race in the next one.

Work is driving me up the wall and not having a spare 1 minute to fart is pissing me off.

The midweek ride

2010-08-20T14:55:00.002+01:00

Me, Pikey & Weest got wet.

Very wet.

Jase and Gaz are big girls.

The Long Mynd

2010-08-19T09:25:00.000+01:00

Bit of a spur of the moment this. Had a free Sunday coming up so I thought I'd take a trip out. Atr the last minute I remembered Paul suggesting the Long Mynd last year on Singletrack when I posted a thread about where to ride within 2 hours of Manchester. On that occasion we ended up doing Drum Mountain instead, but the seed was planted.

So consulted a few locals as to a route and come up with This one.

However on the day, I thought that I'd try the climb through Carding Mill Valley in order not to repeat the last bit.

Drive down was very nice, A49 through Cheshire, not much traffic so nice and relaxing, pulls up at Church Stretton at about 9.15. Only problem was that the sunny weather that I had driven down in had been replaced by murky low level cloud. Still at least it wasnt raining.

Up Carding Mill Valley, and judging by the amount of parking this place has it must get thronged, but my early start had beaten most people.

The Climb up at the head of the valley was brutal to be honest. I cleared it but it damn near killed me, there was no breeze and the first of the days fly's had appeared and seemed to be all picking on my. At the top I was firmly in the mist, which was rather gutting actually as the views were just non existent. Spun along a path was was not disimilar to an old railway line and this took me to the top of Pole Bank. The first of 3 visits to the summit Today. From Pole Bank I tool the BW dropping off the Mynd down to Stanbatch. Very wet and loose. It looked like that there had been a shit load of rain the day before and the ground was just holding all the water, making cornering a lottery. Very steep bit of track this and in the Dry I reckon would make a warp speed descent. The next bit looked on the map like a road ride, but instead turned out to be a nice green lane with some lovely views across the Shropshire folds on my right. The lane ended in Tarmac at Asterton. Then quite tarmac to the start of the climb back up onto the Mynd at the interestingly named "Handless". This was a DOG of a climb. so steep and loose that it was hard work pushing up it, but after the initail steepness it was an OK ascent. At the top, picked up the Shropshire Way past the glider club.

The grass was pretty tiring to be honest as it was so wet. Watched the 2 landrovers flying up and down the "runway" blasting their horns to clear the sheep away and then the gliders started getting up. At the road junction I arrived at the top of the area's famous section of trail, Minton Batch.

This was supposed to be a ribbon of natural singletrack descending from the ridge right to the foot of the valley, down a narrow "batch" so characteristic of the area. It didnt disappoint. The only PITA was having to stop to take pics. It was just Mountain Biking Heaven. Twisting flowing trail that went on and on.

It was all over too soon though. At the bottom I headed over to Priors Holt. I handt noticed descending the batch, but the mist had cleared and the day was turning out really nice. This section was just ace. Cycling through typically Olde English landscape everything was right with the world. Everyone I met smiled and shouted a cheery hello, and on the singletrack road, I met a Londrover coming in my direction. Not only did he stop, but he reversed to a gate and got off the road completely to let me pass, wound down his window and had the crack. What a fookin Kinght of the Road!

Priors Holt was a nice little hamlett then up through the forest to start the third climb of the day back onto the ridgeline. Passed a set of Bee Hives half way up and stayed well clear of them. Rather that look for the BW in the forest I just took the easy spin up the fireroad. Smudge had mentioned that there was some fun to be had in the forest and I spotted loads of tracks cutting off from the road which looked promising. Half way up a local lad caught me up and offered to join me back up to the ridge. Nice guy and he said that there was a thriving DH scene in the woods on a Saturday.

Back on the Ridge I bade my riding buddy a farewell and sat down for lunch. Aparently a sweaty bloke eating tuna and pasta salad provided just the right combination to attract all the fly's in Shropshire.

Past the Glider club again and then up Pole Bank for the second time. Just after the summit though I took the little used BW down to Medlicott. This was Ace... wide track which was very fast then into loose baby head rocks at warp speed. Sadly too much for my front wheel and I ended up doing a San Marino Suffle trying to stop with a flat front. Nice place to have a flat though.

At the bottom the small Hamlet of Medlicott was passed and on a barely used gated road, I climbed up to Coats Farm. Here, while opening a Gate I could hear the distictive Deep Base Thud of music, but where the hell it was coming from was a mystery. Then as I started to climb the hill I spotted a camp site across the valley, although I reckon it must have been some sort of music festival as it was pumping out load of music.

This final climb was now on tired legs and it was a bit of a grind. Kept stopping to soak up the views and slowly spun back up to the ridge for the final time today. Here I decided on a route change. Scruff from STW had mentioned that the path from Pole Cottage to Little Stretton and recently been up-graded to Bridleway Status. On the map it looked like a nice drop so I went for that.

The Final visit of the day to Pole Bank Summit and I headed down to the top of the descent.

What followed was just ace, Bit of a climb to start it but then it was DH ALL the way, the best bit was turning a corner and having the full view of Sleekstonebank Hollow thrown at you. It really stopped me in my tracks. I got a picture but it doesn't do it justice.

The Run got very steep on some loose grass just before Little Stetton and some walkers held open the gate for me at the bottom, cheering me past!

The road back to the car was even a joy to ride.

First ride round here and it wont be the last! Loved it. Superb riding in a typically old English Landscape. Going to wait for a bit of a dry spell and go again. I finished up just shy of 30 miles with nearly 5000' of climbing and probably only touched 30% of the bridleways!

Local exploring

2010-08-08T19:27:00.042+01:00

Sunday came around and I wasnt going to bother with going out.... the weather had been pretty shitty, shoulder was still hurting a bit and I hadnt had a proper ride since Skipton. There was a dearth of emails on whether anyone was bothering and I hadn't fitted my repaired brake.

However, as it was, I decided at the last minute to go out, and as I was on my own I decided to have a bit of a mooch out to pastures new.

I had always thought that the hills above the Grain Road and Broadhead Road looked promising but a study of the map showed that there wasnt really much in the way of paths. But its a long ridge, running from Pike Lowe all the way to its end at Peel Tower and there must be something up there. Also, on the numerous times we have descended Cadshaw, I had noticed a promising track up The Naze above the roman road. So a plan was hatched. I head up WW to the Duck, see if I could bag some cheeky riding, heading to the ridge and taking in Trig Points of Hog Lowe Pike, Bull Hill and Peel Tower, and no one to moan at me if / when it all goes wrong.

Nice run up to the Duck and I found the place to be open!! and packed to boot. Have to try and engineer a call on a night ride soon to sample the Ale. I was hoping to take a footpath which looked VERY promising from Entwistle station up the Wayoh Farm, but it was rammed with Sunday walkers. UU have also had a big blast putting "No Cycling" signs up everywhere so I though better of it and climbed Hob Lane. Along the Roman Road and then up the Naze. The path over the moors was very very muddy, livestock and rain had made it a mud fest, but the track soon became firmer and eventually spat me out at Pastures Farm on Broadhead Road.

Spin over to the footpath at Edgerton Moss and the plan was to hit the fence running along the ridge and "HOPE" there was something on the ground that I could follow and there was!! I roundly ignored the "No Cycling" sign on the gate and hefted the bike over, then followed the fence on the ridge to Hog Lowe Pike. Surprisingly nice grass singletrack which wasnt too wet. The grass was about knee deep in some places making riding a bit of a test of faith, but even when I did fall off, it was a soft landing. Nice views from the the Top of Hog Lowe as well, apparently, there is some evidence that this is a burial chamber, similar to Round Loaf. This view is looking back the way I came and on towards Entwistle.

From the Pike there was a nice weaving grassy descent to the path over towards Musbery Heights, but I stayed on the ridgeline, climbing up a seldom used path over Causeway Height to the line of the new Pipeline, same one that went over Darwen moor some years ago. Here, it all went tits up. The path just stopped. I could see Scholes Height but there was no path on the ground at all, except the path that descended to Coates Farm and the Toby inn. It just looked like a push to be honest so I hooked a left and desended on what turnout out to be a nice bit of singletrack towards Coates. I turned left again on the track above the old quarry to take the footpath towards the Toby, but it was just fookin ridiculous. Grass past my bollocks and unrideable. I ended up just pushing most of it.

From the road, I retraced my steps once at Hob Lane for a nice relaxed spin home. All up about 23 miles with a fair bit of climbing. Oh and Crowthorn looks like its getting a new lease of life. The Developers are in.

A Shopping Trip for Johnnie

2010-07-30T13:09:00.000+01:00

When John picked me up on Sunday, I mentioned that Janet was looking to sell on Al's old bike. We had a idea what it was worth so I put it up on Singletrack, however Johnnie expressed an interest. So last night he came over for a blast out on it to try it out.

My own bike was laid up after knackering the brake lever when I had my crash on Sunday, so Pikey kindly lent me his. Took John down the steps into the valley then back up and along the Riverside Singletrack. Over the valley bridge and up to the Jumbles (which are still empty despite the rain). From here I suggested we climbed up through Edgeworth and back along the Witton Weavers to the Last Drop.

Nice spin up the road discussing the merits of road biking which ended in us agreeing that everyone who rides a road bike is boring and soul-less (well, I did anyway). We blasted down the WW which gave Johnnie a good chance to see how the suspension on the 5 performed. From the bottom, we went through the golf course and then the Tip and Higher Ridings. He was suitably impressed and decided to take the bike. Lucky b'stard got himself a right old bargain. I secretly harboured desires on it myself, but sadly being skint isnt conducive with flash bike purchases.

Nice run out and nearly got a kicking from Pikey for getting his bike dirty. I'll have to pop round and clean it at some point.

STW Skipton Ride

2010-07-27T23:17:00.000+01:00

Not had an STW ride for a while so when Stuart suggested leading one around Skipton I jumped at the chance. Non of my lot fancied it, so Johnnie kindly offered at share a lift and he picked me up and we made our way over to Skipton for 10ish.

Getting to the car park and we saw Donk and Burk already kitting up, pretty soon after Stuart and his mate arrived and we got the introductions over. This was always going to be a smaller group and by the time we set off we were about 12, a good number. Graham and Nick had come over, Matt made the trip up too, also, Jacqui arrived, being the sole representative of Team Darlo (and by far the best looking of that rabble!). Gordy2 from the forum represented the senior element of the group and at 66 years young, was an inspiration to cycle with.

So started off with a nice gradual climb on a country lane heading out towards the moor and soon off road towards the shapely peak of Sharp Haw. Great climb to start the day, nice and gradual to start with then getting a bit steeper and finally a lot steeper at the end. I failed to clear the climb 10' from the top, running out of steam but Matt and Donk cleared it easily.

Grand view from the top and we waited for Troutie, who didnt arrive so after 15 mins wait we decided to head down. 1st down of the day and signalled what a treat we were in for. Absolute blast! singltrack through bracken, then woods and over all manner of surface, rocks, mud, roots and gravel it had it all and spat us out at Flasby with us all grinning like idiots.

Road spin along to Hetton was nice and relaxing in some superb scenery. At Hetton we dived down a tight walled track where some "mons" nettles got a grip of me on my hands, through a gate and past some real nice houses we came out on the main road at Rylstone.

A Quick dice with death by cycling along the main road to the bridleway up onto Bardon moor was soon done. I knew what was coming up here, having walked up to Sun Moor many years ago, so I took it easy at the beginning, joining Gordy for a chat on the way up. As it got steeper and steeper, only Matt was still going in front of me and Donk right behind, I was feeling good and pretty confident of clearing the climb, then Matt got stuck on some loose stuff. I got past him but just stalled on some bedrock 20m from the top. Bastard! The only saving grace was the I fooked Donk up as well :)

Dinner stop at the top and then a wonderful bit of gritty singltrack through the heather towards Embsay moor.

Really was a great bit of trail that offered the chance to get some speed up. At Green Hill, Stu announced that on our right was a *cough* footpath that offered some fine singletrack to Embsay Crag, the alternative being the BW drop. We didnt need it pointing out twice and we set of along the track. Fookin sublime ribbon of 6" wide heather rimmed singletrack descended slowly at first then got steeper and steeper. I was blasting down it and knew that Graham and Donk were behind me so kept the hammer down. The final drop was ace, techy gritstone boulders, steep grass switchbacks. I was surprised that Donk hadnt been right up my trumpet down here, but he soon flew past on a rocky drop and it was over at a gate. We both stopped with HUGE grins and turned to find no one behind us. Shit. then my phone rang and it was Gray telling us we had blasted stright past the turn to Embsay Crag top. The track was THAT good though that both me and Donk thought it was well worth the push back up to do the final bit.

From the top of Embsay Crag, Stu showed us some lines off and then led down the proper one. I waited at the top with the camera to get the gang riding down.

And also the final plummet....

The only problem with waiting is that everyone was grouped nicely at the bottom with a grandstand view of me trying to mince down what soon revealed itself to be an epic drop! Steep switchback into gritstone drops and I was riding it like a tart, nearly bailing into the bracken, which raissed a massive cheers from ~~the bastards~~ my riding buddies. Second part of the run to the bridge was just brilliant, fast loose and technical. Quick regroup and then joy of joys, a fast descent to the pub in Embsay.

Johnnie kindly subbed me some cash for a pint of Skiptons foaming finest....

Here we lost Gordy, retiring from the ride at the halfway mark, but were joined by Claire and her friend, who it turned out lived right opposite the pub. Gray, Nick and me enquired as the possibility of an overnight room so we could stay in the pub, but it turned out we would have had to share with 3 kids :(.

Along the road to Halton and a steady climb up Moor lane. Here Donk and Burk decided to split and do Embsay crag again and scoot back to Skipton as time was getting on. We continued along a nice grassy bw towards Bolton Abbey. Here, seeing a bit of a drop, I put the hammer down and flew past Nick, egging him on to try and catch me. We were flying down a steep grass bank when I slammed on at a dirt drop, jumped over it and then heard an almighty fookin THUD. I hauled up and turned to see Nick in a big heap. He had a minute to gather his thoughts and then found he had split his helmet in the fall. I felt pretty bad from about 1 second before ripping the piss out of him. With hindsight this was probably a bad idea as Karma was about to bite me on the arse.

At the next gate, Stu said there was a good jump halfway down the field and I, having the camera should follow him down and park up to get some snaps of the group going over it. As I approached it and compressed to pull up, the back wheel kicked up on the suspension rebound at the top of the jump pitching me right forward. Slow motion time then started as I nose dived straight into the deck and went down like a sack of shit. Stu was next to me and said he expected me to be proper broke as I went down that hard. As it was I had winded myself, which I fookin hate. I got my breath back and stood up but my shoulder was killing me, couldnt move my arm above half way. Claires mate very kindly gave me some painkillers which helped and then I set about mending the bike. The bars were twisted and the cables needed adjusting, but I had knackered my rear brake lever. Bummer. Still managed to get a shot of Nick showing me how it was done.

Some moor wonderful forest singletrack and we were into Bolton Abbey. Bit of a brutal climb now followed up to Droughton Height where we then pointed ourselves downhill for a cracking run to a quarry at Jenny Gill. Here there were 4 lines down a steep face. The 1st one was mental, second one less mental but still required sphericals that were bigger than mine, after my earlier exploits. Nick however blasted down it... rode it very smoothly.

From here it was road into Skipton then the canal back to the cars.

A fabulous days riding. I will def be back here as its only 50 mins from home but has some of the finest trails around.

Fast Blast

2010-07-23T20:59:00.000+01:00

Jase, Weest and me only tonight and a late start. First of the year with lights on. Met up at Weesters at 8pm and after a bit of faffage we were off. Up to Coal Pit and over the gate the ground was surprisingly firm and grippy despite the recent rain. Hit the road and we decided to do the Kennel run for a change. Great fun I forgot how good this little DH is, however the chute has a nasty groove in the bottom of it now so me and weest came down the grass while Wors did the steps.

Up hole in't wall and then Weester took us over the quarries to matchmor, the onto Burnt edge and down the bumpy rocky track. Despite owning it, I have never actually ridden down it, It was Ace. Bump and fast. Weest came a cropper at the bottom but luckily landed in the heather.

Along over Walker Fold and then to the 63 steps. Wors rode them, and whilst they didnt look too bad, their length just fucked with my head and I walked down them with Weest. I'll take em next time.

On with the light and then a classic urban raid through the burb's of Smithills along tracks I have never riden before. Nearly lost the lads and came a right cropper on some slippy planks. We ended up getting spat out Just above the Tap. I duley noted this and next weeks ride I will suggest that we finish on this route once more, but a little ealier and we shall avail ourselves of the hospitality of the Tap.

Cracking ride out.

Moaning about not biking ? Sorry, but I'll not bother....

2010-07-19T14:43:00.001+01:00

Pissin weather, pissin punctures, pissing no tubes, pissin skint, pissin domestic chores... pissin bollocks and fucking piss!

That would be my usual opener after 8 days of not being on the bike. However, not today.

Last week I got some pretty shitty news. One of our occasional riding buddies and a good mate hit me with the bad news. Kidney Disease. He told me all about the symptoms, what it will mean and also the stress that it has, is and will cause him.

So instead of moaning like a kid, I'll just be thankful that I CAN ride a bike and still have my health. After Al's death its one more wake up call that proves that life really is just too short and that we must try to live it to the full.

Got everything crossed for you matey... We WILL see you at Coniston again!

Proof that God has a sense of humor. - Skiddaw Fail#2

2010-07-14T09:38:00.000+01:00

Day out pass booked - Check
Riding Buddies - Double check
Route - Check
Weather - Check, oh hang on....

Thursday before I looked at BBC weather and it showed full on hardcore sunshine for Sunday. Right, off we go, Weest managed to get a pass out and Donk decided to join us also. I had the Skiddaw Cheek ride planned. A real epic, 30 miles and 7000' climbing / carrying.

The trip up was getting increasingly gloomy and rather worryingly the cloud base was very low. Driving through the Lune valley we could see nothing except the rain hammering against the windscreen. We pulled into Tebay services to stock up on the finest pies known to man, and while Weest was getting a coffee, I sat looking out of the window at the deluge being blown horizontally. Not good.

We met Dave at a layby just outside Keswick and parked up at the bottom of the Latrigg Bridleway. Getting kitted up in the rain wasn't much fun and was a precursor of what was to follow.

I was not really bothered about the rain, more worried about the cloud. The Caldbeck Fells are pretty bleak and featureless I I knew that the traverse from Great Calva over the Knott to Sca Fell would require compass bearings in the mist, not a problem on foot, but on a bike t can be a PITA.

Spun along the old railway to Threlked, and then started the climb up Glenderraterra to Skiddaw House. The rain has made the bedrock slippery as hell for some reason, probably due to it being so dry recently. Up to Skiddaw house and we were in good spirits, as despite the weather, it's still wonderful country to be riding in. We headed over towards Dash on the 4x4 track and as we past the flanks of Great Calva, I started looking for a path or sheep track that we could take in the ascent up to the high tops. None. Damn, there was nothing for it, but to just shoulder the bikes and take the direct route up. The bracken was knee deep and proved pretty hard going, however, I must admit to loving it. There is nothing like the feeling of adventure in off pieste biking and sure it was hard work, but well worth it. What wasn't much fun was the howling tempest slamming into us direct from Scotland, I was blown clean over a one point. Dave, I suspected started to have a sense of humour malfuncation at this point as he slammed his bike down off his shoulders in frustration, however, it had got stuck on his back pack, so he followed it into the heather lol.

We got to the top of Little Calva pretty quick really and then picked up the Fence coming over from Birkett Edge. We followed it to the corner and then it was Bearing time over to the Knott. NO path to speak of really, just riding in a fookin tempest over peaty hags. Proper Character building stuff. At the col, God really played his trump card and sent in the monsoon, horizontal monsoon as well. Dave, it turned out, had not packed a waterproof, however he did have a shower proof piece of kit and he attempted to get it out. No I must admit to having a right old chuckle to myself here, watching him try and upack a coat that was basically acting as a sail and desperately wanted to transfer itself into Lancashire via the wind. He battled valiantly with it, whilst me and Weest just hunkered down, backs to the wind and rain watching him. At one point I was almost roaring with laughter, however the palpable waves of hardcore pissed off'ness that were emanating from Dave prevented me from passing comment, for fear of getting a Heckler shoved right up my arse. Anyway, after about 5 mins, Dave managed to get his Asda Bag on him and I suggested that it may be prudent to call a halt to further proceedings. This was instantly agreed to by all parties concerned and I elected to get the fuck out of there. Now here, whisper it, I made what I will perhaps concede, was a navigational cock up. From our location, IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE I thought it would be best to head twoards the Mosedale Bridleway, then to Skiddaw House and along Longscale craggs. What I failed to notice was the wonderful singletrack bridleway descending to our west, which would have provided wonderful riding and a route to the foot of the Dash Falls Bridleway. Doh. My excuse for this was that my map was printed out on an ink jet printer and I didnt have time to laminate it. So everytime I looked at it, it got wet and then basically turned to mush.

Still, ever the optimist, I told the lads to follow Wiley Gill down to Mosedale. Now I'm not 100% sure, but I'd put a big chuck on money on us probably being the 1st bikers ever to descend this lonely valley. Nothing in here, not a path, nothing. Even the sheep couldnt be bothered to get their act together and form a sheep track for us to follow. This, predictably, made the going a little bit tough, however I have to admit to enjoying it. A proper bit of adventure in the face of adversity.

So there we are in the lonely valley, not a path in sight and what do we come across ? a Bridge over one the other tributary streams. Why the hell someone had gone to the effort of putting it here, over just one of many tributaries was utterly beyond me and bordered on the surreal.

Weest and Donk at this stage were considering riding along the stream bed, but it proved to be a little bit deeper than it looked, however Weest managed to use it to get under the last fence.

We finally hit the Mosedale Bridleway, just in time for the murderous head wind to kick up and batter us all the way to Skiddaw House. It was at this point that I gave my knee a right good twatting on the stem, further adding to the delights of the day. Had I not been in the company of two battle hardened bikers, I'd have burst into tears. From Skiddaw House we blatted along to Lonscale crag's where the polished bedrock claimed me straight away and I landed in a heap. Here, Dave's rear tyre, tubeless, was now requiring pumping up every 300 yards or so, indeed, it had got so low that at one point it "burped". A state of affairs which I found hillarious. A fucking back wheel burping!

We really shouldnt have taken the piss as karma soon set in and I flatted on the downhill from Latrigg, and whilst Weest came back up for me, he also got a flat.

Donk scattered all the walkers like a ten pin bowling ball descending and we were soon back at the car. Here, God played his final jolly on us. The skies miraculously cleared, the rain stopped and the wind died. Even Skiddaw was clear. Oh how we all laughed. I will return and do this ride sometime soon. It will not defeat me.

The San Marino Shuffle

2010-07-09T08:34:00.001+01:00

–verb (used without object)

1. to walk without lifting the feet or with clumsy steps and a shambling gait.

2. to scrape the feet over the floor in dancing.

3. to move clumsily (usually fol. by into ): to shuffle into one's clothes.

4. to act underhandedly or evasively with respect to a stated situation (often fol. by in, into, or out of ): to shuffle out of one's responsibilities.

5. to intermix so as to change the relative positions of cards in a pack.

6. to attempt to stop and stay upright from high speed with a flat front tyre, whilst simultaniously shitting oneself "San Marino Shuf-fle"

Thursday rooolllls around again. I have to admit to being a bit low this last week. Wanted to get out on Sunday, but after changing my cassette and chain, it became apparent that there were no teeth on my middle ring that wanted to play with my new chain. So I couldnt / wouldnt ride, general apathy was setting in. Other shit going on was also getting me down I have to admit, so as Thursday approached I was far from arsed about riding, even though I knew it would be the tonic I needed. Cap it all and my back has started its 12 monthly painful tightening. Funny how I only get muscular back pain once every twelve months or so. Again, I knew a ride would ease it, so why was I not arsed about going out??

Gave myself the required kick up the arse and got sorted, round to Weesters for 7 to find Wors already there and Weester nearly ready for the off too. However, faffage as usual took us to about 7.20 before we were off. We decided on our usual Winter Hill / Rivi jaunt. The climb up to Horrocks Fold soon got my legs warmed up and before long we were setting a blistering pace up Coal Pit. Over the gate and up the path to the mast was taken at record speed. I was really really loving The climb. Funny this, but these days I seem to be enjoying my climbing much much more that I use to. I use to see climbing as a means to get to a downhill, but now, I relish the challenge of a climb and also the hard work involved. Must be my masochistic side coming out as I get older... be getting into bondage next... It seems to be the old ones who enjoy it, judge's, MP's and what not.

We were passed at the top of the hill bu a car with 3 young lads it in who headed up to the top of the access road, Odd I thought, anyway we climbed up and found the car parked up at the end of the tarmac, we joined the singletrack and as we turned the corner there they were, two of them taking pictures of their mate who was lying on the floor, pulling up his top. Now, you will recall, Wors and I have had experience of strange male outdoor activities, however we were both stumped as to what was going on here.

I took the chute for a change and it was a peice of piss really, the rutted off camber run down to the gate still gives me the willies though. Belmont road to the pigeon tower, where we passed about 12 or so other jocksters all out enjoying the night and we climbed up to the Pike. Nice lie down at the top to cool down and catch the view before we went straight over the edge to the gate, here my new chain decided to come off the big ring and wrap itself inside the crank arm and the cogs. Brute force and ignorance couldn't get it out so Wors had a go and managed to free it instantly.

Up the Kennels and then to the top of San Marino. Now, for some reason, this run has claimed my tubes on a regular basis, I think I must be up to 8 in the last 8 months. The ground was dusty but much firmer than recently with the rain, so we set of at a scorching pace, the first few jumps all sailed over, just getting to bog monster and I Did the shuffle. BANG! front tyre gone, instantly deflated whilst in full flight and hitting the rough stuff. Suffice to say that there was a bit of a brown eye twitch trying to stop. I did find that emitting a high pitched girly scream helped tremendously in my deceleration and I intend to use this on future such occasions. The funny thing was that Weester stopped behind me, then Wors came to a halt, moaning "whats up now!" only to hear the immeiate high pitch tell tale whine of all the air escaping from his rear tyre :).

Tubes changes sharpish as the biters were out, and I was their number one target, we set off down the run, Weester taking a crafty shortcut at the turn and rejoining the path just in front of me.

Some ignorant bastard has repaired the kissing gate too, meaning we had to shoulder the bikes over the fence to get to the road. Spin along to the road home.

As I suspected, just the tonic. I feel alive and ready for the world after a great ride out with good mates. Food for the soul.

A night of Suburban trail poaching

2010-07-01T22:50:00.001+01:00

Wednesday this week as Pikey wanted a ride. Weesters lovely wife had a client cancel early so we could all make it a 7pm set off. Clarkster text at the last minute saying that he was struggling with a boiler fault and would'nt be able to join us. I strongly suspected that the boiler in question was the Brierfields.

After a morose start with much head scratching, Pikey announced that he didnt fancy the Hill, so suggested a run up to Entwistle. So up through the golf course, DH to Longworth Clough and then Delph Dam and the church. The rain on Monday night had firmed up the trails somewhat and actually lent a bit more grip, but still the trails were nice and fast.

Past Lucas's and up the WW to Green Arms. I suggested we took the Rollercoaster, but that would mean descending along Entwistle, and, as it was a nice night was a bit worried about militant ramblers. Still the lads agreed so we gave it a go. The Rollercoaster was ace as ever, but the forest was proper humid, sweat was dripping of the lot of us as we reached the double track back to Enti. We took the north shore back and the ramblers we came across were all cheerful, must be the weather putting everyone in a good mood.

Over the dam and along the cheeky path to Wayoh, lovely and fast and I managed to clear the trick 3 steps before the main flight at the viaduct. Last time I tried these I broke a finger, mind you it was coming home after 5 in the Duck!

We took the steep path from St Annes towards the Jumbles, I slowed at the borrom for the narrow rock stile and heard the most dreaded sound this sport has to offer... the sound of 15st of solid Pikey, full on the brakes and clearly unable to stop bearing down on me. I clenched and braced for impact, but the diamond had dropped it sideways into the salad rather than hit me. Thank fuck for that.

Along the full length of the Jumbles, cheek of the highest order here as this is hardcore rambler territory. Last time I rode along here, all the walkers we came across gave us looks like we had just bummed their sisters. This time no such problems. Was a nice spin to the car park. I elected to hit the stairs at the end of the car park and flew down the first flight, then realised a little too late that the next flight were MUCH steeper and rougher, really thought I was going to bin it, wasnt helped by the guided missile that was Pikey flying past my left shoulder on the smooth grass, the bastard!

From here we shot down the valley on even more paths, into the North Bolton Suburbia. Was nice tracks actually and one that I have never ridden before. Well overgrown, the nettles and brambles were all cheek high and were ripping us to shreds. Soon at the railway we took the singletrack along to Oaks Lane, more nettles, my forearms were covered in stings now, drop into the valley then my secret private singletrack home.

Brilliant nights riding. Made a nice change from the lonely moors.

The Summer Solstice

2010-06-22T08:44:00.000+01:00

Never Ever ride on Monday's but last night was the Solstice and a fookin lovely evening to boot. Last minute roll call only produced Toss as a willing partner. Late start at 7.30 but no matter, we had daylight till easy 10.30.

A nice relaxed and chilled pace took us up past Horrocks Fold where our wallets were topped up by two friendly locals who had the crack with us, one a particularly attractive nurse, who said she was going up the hill on her bike later. We almost offered to wait for her, but we are both far too gentlemanly.

Spinning up Coal Pit, Toss pointed out a particularly muscular cow right next to the road and only 2' away from us, seperated by a flimsy fence. He was an impressive beast, and we both marvelled at his almost shaved smooth bulging ball sack. A fine looking bull.

Up Coal Pit path and we bumped into a couple of Jocksters decending, had the crack comparing notes about how San Marino was riding, nice guys. Easy spin up the path to Clarkey's Corner which was bone dry, we decided to head over to the shoulder over the moor past he Trig Point it was that dry and dusty. Ditched the bikes at the top of the shoulder and just sat, chilling in the heather soaking up the views. The Dee estuary and Snowdonia were quite clear, but north to the Lakes was a bit hazy for some reason, only the dark outline of Black Coomb being visible. Inland, all Three Peaks were clear as crystal.

A blast down the shoulder got us to the road, hardly a drop of water, I cant recall the last time the moors were this dry. Along to the Pidgeon Tower and up the Pike. Plenty of people up there, one group of kids had the BBQ going, all just soaking up the dyeing evening and waiting for the sun to drop. We bounced down the front on the Pike and then pushed up the Kennels, watching 3 kids on DH bikes style up a big jump coming down from Two Lads. Steady spin up the road to San Marino. So dry and dusty going down here Toss had to hold right back as I was kicking up more dust than a Paris Dakar Car!. Midges at the bottom were out in full force so we got going sharpish.

Took the racetrack down to Gleaves Res and then the singletrack through the forest. Nice run this, but the ravine spoils the flow of it.

Home for 10pm and still light. A cracking chilled out, easy ride on a stunning evening. Brilliant!

Welcome Summer.

A Fast Blast round Gisburn

2010-06-21T13:03:00.002+01:00

Couldn't ride on Sunday this week due to it being Fathers Day and Jazzy had a gym comp, so grabbed a few hours on Saturday afternoon.

Wasn't really sure what to do really, I knew Jase was going over to Cragg, but he was only parking at the Buck then popping up for a lap or two. I like Cragg, but not enough to drive all that way and just do 2 laps, so I let him down. Sent a txt to everyone but no-one was out. So sod it. Checked the bike in the car at 2pm, kissed the misses and kids and went. I only decided where to go at the end of our street. Gisburn it was.

I hadn't been since last September when it was dry, me and Weest had a ride round it. I have purposely stayed away this winter as I knew the trails were not fairing well with the weather. Still, long dry spell that we are having should have sorted all that now.

Pulled up at the car park at about 3ish, kitted up and set off. On my own so set myself a pretty quick pace. Wonderful weather, not to hot and a nice cooling breeze. Pikey's corner now has a line of skidded earth where it looks like many people have done the same as him and fell off. Up to the 1st Volunteer bit and I discovered that my middle ring is probably knackered. Every time I put power down the chain was skipping. So I just had to use the big and granny. Was ok really as I coasted the 1st Volunteer section. Really is a great little bit of track this. So tight and twisty, I was soon spat out on the fire road. Quick right turn and over the new section, it wasn't fully finished last time we were here and it was a nice alternative to the fire road.

The long haul up to the quarry was hot and sweaty but the view from the top was nice. Passed a group of riders just before the quarry who were all cheerful. The next section up the Whelpston Crag is fucked for wont of a better word. OK in the dry, but basically the rain and usage has obliterated the singletrack and it is now just a jumble of big sharp rocks, making it pretty interesting, however I should imagine in the wet it would be a nightmare. The stuff around the base of the slab is also pretty messed up. Passed a couple of lads at the top of the slab um-ing and ar-ing about going over the edge.

Down to Hully Gully and I have to say that the lads have done a great job with it. Ok a lot of the aggregate is loose and not bedded in, due to the dry weather, but otherwise its wonderful. Hit the top of every berm and even went up the jump on the third one. Passed a guy stopped at the top of the G Out where they have had to pitch it, I think he had the wobbles with the pitched stone. His mates were waiting for him at the bottom. I decided to have another go at it so turned right and back up the fire road. Bit faster this time, however my back tyre blew out in the 1st G out and shit me up something proper. Its a fucking long long way down on your right hand side here. Managed to stop and get it fixed by hauling my bike up the slope on the left.

Last section was very fast, parts of the old red have got some massive breaking bumps in them now which made it interesting and the stuff through the forest has also been resurfaced.

Caught a lad up on the last section of singletrack. Was bearing down on him pretty quick and just before he hit the woodwork, bang, his pedal hit a stump and over the bars he went. A big scary impact actually and he was pretty shaken up. I gave him a lift with his bike and sat him down. He was wearing knee and shin armour and is shin had hit the corner of the woodwork, splitting his pad. Very lucky, reckon it would have been a broken leg but for that. Made sure he was ok and carried on. They lads have recently finished a bit of Black run which cuts out the fire road on the overlapping route. Was great. They have put in a skinny log about 3' up off the deck. I was pretty nervous going over it, being clipped in, but it was great. A nice little challenge and a good addition to the trail. Back to the car park and off home.

Nice fast blast to keep the cobwebs off.

Darwen Moor, sans bummers

2010-06-18T14:48:00.000+01:00

Scorching day yesterday, around 25 degrees and a nice breeze. Good turn out with Jase, Clarkey, Weest and myself all reporting for duty.

Along Longworth Clough and Clarkey gets a puncture, apparently the tyre was a bit tight on the rim which made him a bit narked, to the extent he was considering calling a taxi to the pub. Weest soon had him right and we carried on. Up the long soul destroying climb of the A666, (why oh why oh why do people ride this for pleasure) and we were at Cadshaw. Top of the Bastard and we decided to have another bash at the Singletrack over to moor, which was lovely.

Climb up along the edge to the steep drop. Weester, having developed a vagina and tits, loudly proclaimed that he didnt fancy the climb back up to the tower so wouldnt bother with the drop, needless to say he was lambasted and shamed into following us. Well worth it as the little techy drop is ace fun.

Back up to the tower in short order and admired the views. Quite clear considering the heat. Spun accorss the moor to Lyons Den and blasted down to the road. WW back to Blow Job Alley, where I insisted that someone, anyone, other than me went first down the last decent. Our fears were groundless though as there were no bummers in sight. Here the lads went straight on as the were off to the Tap for a couple, I went through the forest, over to Cox Green and through the quarry. The cheeky little track through Higher Ridings was starting to get well overgrown and I got a shin full of Mon's Nettles. I noticed that in the wooded sections it was pretty fookin dark. No wonder, as when I finally got home after pulling up the Valley, it was nearly 10pm!! 10pm and still enough light to ride. Brilliant.

Solstice next Tuesday though. Bright side = start of summer, shit side = light nights getting shorter.